For the past week, I have dedicated a bigly chunk of my time to culling through my various email accounts. I keep up with personal email efficiently enough, but the what’s-this-about?/who’s-this-from? junk email and spam sort of pile up on me. A week ago I had 17,000+ unread emails. As of today, martini Bow Tie o’ the Day and I have managed to read and obliterate 12,000 specimens of the unwanted email. I’m still working on dealing with the final 5000 emails, which I estimate I can finish before the weekend. It is a largely tedious project, which I always promise myself to do more regularly, so it never gets this far out of hand again. Promises, promises.
What have I discovered by going through my pile o’ email housekeeping? Two things. First, I need to further tweak the settings on each account to send even more of the questionable email into the spam/junk folder, so I don’t need to be bothered with it. The second thing I’ve discovered is more of a question: Why is it that the single most repeated topic of the unsolicited emails sent to me is about crackpot Erectile Dysfunction cures? I get at least 3-4 ED emails per day, every day, in one of my accounts alone. Do y’all get them in your email, too? Is ED the new pandemic and I just haven’t heard? What words could I have possibly written on TIE O’ THE DAY that put me into the internet ED algorithm? And how do I undo it? I mean—I don’t know everything, but I feel absolutely certain when I declare that ED cures are nothing I will ever be in the market for. Just sayin’.