Tie o’ the Day based on Salvador Dali’s “The Persistence of Memory” painting seems to capture my feelings today. I feel like I’m experiencing my own personal time warp—of the Groundhog Day variety. I keep having the same day, again and again. For example, my pancreas surgeon and my ERCP doc got together to look at my latest scans. After their chat, they each called me separately to say they’d like me to do one more ERCP (that makes it the third one in the last two months) before surgery. So guess what I’m doing next week. My ERCP doc wants to try one more time to claw out my Hanky Panky stone by sticking a scope and a tool down my throat. I am sick of this. It has taken since February to get this stone dealt with, and I have finally hit my top nerve. I don’t even care what finally solves this. I just want it over with. Surgery is scheduled for Sept. 2. If they haven’t captured my stone and thrown it into the biological waste by Sept. 3, I’m opening my biggest pocket knife, and I’ll dig it out myself. Y’all will be welcome to assist me.
Here’s what I do in my current same-day-over-and-over-again Groundhog Day: wake bipolar self up, curse tinnitus, nurse panky boulder, potty Skitter, send Suzanne to the office, nurse panky boulder, write dark existential poetry, nurse panky boulder, write morning TIE O’ THE DAY post, curse tinnitus, feed Skitter, nurse panky boulder, nurse panky boulder, participate in pancreas/ear/bipolar-related medical procedure/test/appointment at some hospital or clinic, curse tinnitus, curse tinnitus, write afternoon TIE O’ THE DAY post, nurse panky boulder, curse tinnitus, nurse panky boulder, curse tinnitus, have a brush with bipolarity, curse tinnitus, nurse panky boulder, potty Skitter, feed Skitter, feed Suzanne, curse tinnitus, curse tinnitus, nurse panky boulder, and finally—curse tinnitus while nursing panky boulder to sleep.
That’s my day right now. Every day. Believe me, I am more interesting than my current schedule. This rut R not me!