Our next door neighbors just had their first baby. It’s a boy! If you are a longtime reader of TIE O’ THE DAY, you know exactly what time it is when a bambino is hatched: it’s time—or it’s an excuse—for me to run to the baby section of the store to buy some BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE. (See the shelf right above my head in the photo.) For new baby’s, we always give a bundle of diapers, wipes, and BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE. Nobody wants the wee new creatures to have diaper rash. That is no way to start out in this world.
It’s amazing how many times I can work “BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE” into my everyday conversation whenever I want to. I can say to Skitter, “I’m heading to the store, and I have to go to the baby medicine section. I don’t mean to get too personal with you, Skitter, but do you need me to pick up some BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE for you while I’m there? I’m happy to do it.” Or I could go into Dick’s Market, where I already know they don’t have it, and ask a clerk, “Who can I talk to about the possibility of Dick’s Market maybe carrying BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE in the future?” Or Suzanne could be on the phone with her boss, and in the background, I can yell, “Suzanne, where did I leave the box of BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE?” The product’s name is so starkly accurate and immaturely funny, and I am such an eternally obnoxious kid about it. This is why I limit my joking about it to only the day I’m putting together a new baby’s diaper-y gift.