I’m upset. I’m sad. I’m displeased with myself and with my primary bow tie supplier, Beau Ties of Vermont. I do not now, nor will I ever, own this Bow Tie o’ the Day. The company named it Buffina. I just think of it as The Mud Flap Chick.
The Mud Flap Chick bow tie was high on my list o’ neckwear prospects. It was a new product, so I figured I could put off ordering it until my Bee Pig piggy bank was full. There was no rush. Oh, yes, there was a rush! Out of nowhere, some doofus bought the bow tie company, and promptly ceased production of dozens of bow tie designs. The Mud Flap Chick was nixed. She exists no more. Golly, I already own Mud Flap Chick cufflinks and a Mud Flap Chick necktie. By not owning Buffina, my Mud Flap Chick-theme neckwear`collection is now and forever incomplete. It’s not fair.
The annihilation of Buffina is just so wrong. I cannot count the ways. All I am left with is this catalog picture of her, and my dead hope for The Mud Flap Chick bow tie to live among bowfriends in The Tie Room. I am overcome with disappointment. I shall weep and wail for the purchase I didn’t make in time. Yes, I shall wail for precisely 30 seconds, and then I shall put on my brave face and get on with my TIE O’ THE DAY life.
I should have seized the bow tie. Carpe bow tie-em!