That Good Ol’ Middle Finger

These pix are re-posted from a couple of years ago, but I just had to use them again because of what happened to me early this morning.

This is my version of the “old man in the hat” driver. (At least, here he has a Tie o’ the Day.) You know the guy I’m talking about. He’s the old guy who drives a car larger than a barge. He’s the guy who isn’t quite sure where he’s driving. He’s the guy right in front you, but you can’t pass him cuz he can’t decide which lane he needs to be in, so he’s gliding from one lane to the other. Either his blinker is constantly on, or he doesn’t use a blinker at all. He brakes hard, and often, on the freeway for no apparent reason. At least he drives at a crawl so if he does hit someone his car can’t do too much damage. His creeping driving does not, however, keep wrecks from happening around him when drivers become afraid and disoriented while trying to decipher what he’ll do next.

I was reminded of the guy this morning as I was driving home from the airport after dropping Suzanne off for a flight to Portland. (Nope, I didn’t hitch a ride on the plane this time. Too short a trip.) I was driving home on Legacy Parkway, and I spied the bigly electronic, traffic message signs. Unless there’s a catastrophe on the road ahead, the signs usually display a catchy safe-driving message. This morning’s was timely. It said, APRIL FOOLS’ DAY PRANK: DRIVE THE SPEED LIMIT FOR ONCE.

I’ve done a ton of driving in a ton of places, and I have learned one thing is consistent: If you drive the speed limit, people will flip you off. The speed limit is considered too slow everywhere you go. It never fails. But after I saw the sign this morning, I decided I should try doing it again, just to see if drivers have become kinder and gentler recently. Nope. I got flipped off twice. And I got a dirty look from a cop.

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