The days of home isolation have been generally the same old, same old—especially since Suzanne has been working from home. My main uniform is pajamas. A clean pair of pajamas per day is all I really need. Thankfully, I’m stocked up on that clothing staple. I had a bolo vibe this afternoon, so roadrunner Bolo Tie o’ the Day was the thing I had to wear.
I’ve ventured out every couple of days to pick up a few grocery items, which is not a bigly trek for me, cuz DICK’S is less than two blocks away from our house. Suzanne has declined any venturing out of the house, until yesterday afternoon when she wanted to do a quick Walmart trip. I gave Suzanne rubber gloves and strict orders for her to touch nothing but the shopping cart. I wore rubber gloves to touch nothing but the products we were buying. That Walmart experience prompted me to institute a new law: SUZANNE IS NOT ALLOWED TO GO ANYWHERE UNTIL THE PANDEMIC IS LONG GONE!
Why is she condemned to the house? Normally, Suzanne is level-headed and level-emotioned at all times, but she had a freakout of gargantuan proportions in Walmart because not all customers were social distancing properly. There weren’t a lot of shoppers there at all, but it seemed like almost every shopper who showed up at that time wanted to cozy up to Suzanne. Suzanne didn’t scream or run like a chicken with its head cut off out of the store. No, she had the kind of bigly meltdown only I could see. Her rubber-gloved hands gripped the shopping cart so tightly I thought I’d have to buy a crowbar while we were there to pry her fingers from the cart. She had a look in her eyes which said, “My head has exploded thrice already, and I no longer know my own name. Get me out of here!” And then, as if to properly punctuate her feelings, there were her eyebrows. Suzanne’s eyebrows tell all to me. As long as Suzanne has eyebrows, she will never fool me about anything. Her eyebrows told me she was seriously scared of COVID-19. Never again on my watch, I decided. I will travel alone for the foreseeable future.