I named this Tie o’ the Day SHAZAAM, for its comic book-style lightning bolts. Along with what I recently mentioned as the 4 Patterns o’ Groovy Fashion (paisley, houndstooth, polka dots, and plaid), there is a somewhat close 5th pattern to be reckoned with. It is the piratey design of skull-and-crossbones, otherwise known as the Jolly Roger. From this photo, you can see why I had to acquire this apron. It sports a combo of paisley with a gaggle of neon skull-and-crossbones. The skull-and-cross machetes here are an added bonus. When I’m wearing this apron as I make dinner, I feel as if I should be cooking up shark and barnacles. I also feel like I should be wearing my eye patch and a wooden leg. I do own an eye patch to this day. I used to own a wooden leg I bought for $2 at Deseret Industries—with which I once won a three-legged race in the 80’s. I was ultimately disqualified, however, because the judges said I had to be two people running the race, not just one person running with three legs. I felt like a real pirate that day, because I was disqualified for doing something wrong. I still maintain I was the crowd favorite. ☠️