Today is THE day in my recovery from surgery that Bow Tie o’ the Day and I have most anticipated. This is the day I will once again lift and carry my ever-present Mini Keg. It can hold 100 ounces of whatever liquid I wish to be guzzling all day long. I’m definitely a Diet Coke gal, so Diet Coke will fill it to the brim. When full, Mini Keg weighs a whopping 5.4 pounds. I consider carrying it around to be my daily exercise. I guess I lift free weights. Okay, I lift one free weight– sloshy rep after rep after rep.
I know I have to be careful. I’m not going to push it. If I have to set down Mini Keg occasionally throughout my waking hours, I will give in and do that. I won’t want to, but I will do it– for the greater good o’ my health and welfare.
When I say Mini Keg is ever-present in my life, I mean it. It is my faithful companion. When I’m in bed, Mini Keg is on my nightstand. It rides with me when I drive. It grocery shops with me, while it sits in the top rack of the shopping cart. We are very close. I can tell Mini Keg anything, and I know my secrets won’t go anywhere else. Mini Keg is my sippy cup.
Why must I have Mini Keg with me at all times? For one thing, it’s a kind of bodyguard. If somebody tried to mug me, I’d simply hurl Mini Keg at them. That’ll knock ’em out! Or I could beat the hell out of the thug with my heavy drinking buddy. Mini Keg is my concealed-in-plain-sight weapon. No carry permit required.
Another reason I insist on carrying my liquids with me 24/7 is that my crazy-head meds make my mouth oh-so dry. I kid you not: If I can’t drink between sentences, I don’t speak in recognizable sounds. I might as well be having a conversation with you with a pint of peanut butter in my mouth. It’s not pretty. And my words are indecipherable, even to me. I must drink to be understood.
I’m sure I have a thousand other reasons, or justifications for carrying my drink baby. But the main reason I feel like a part of me has been amputated when I don’t have Mini Keg is that Diet Coke is my Mistress o’ Caffeine. Plus, it is tasty. I must know I have enough with me at all times, whether I drink the entire 100 ounces per day or not. To feel secure– and that I’ll be able to speak clearly– I must know it’s there.
BTW Orange and black Bow Tie o’ the Day is here to signal it’s October, and therefore time for Halloween ties and colors. 👻
Don’t push yourself too much! Take care of my HEW.