My apologies for not posting yesterday. I spent part of my day in a session with my “crazy head” doctor, and another chunk of the day at the hearing aid hospital retrieving my once-was-broken-but-now-is-fixed hearing device. The right-ear gadget went kaput last week, and I’ve been hearing lopsided without it ever since I took it for repair. My equilibrium balanced out the minute I inserted the newly tweaked hearing aid back into my ear.
Anyhoo… At the end of my last post, I wrote that I would be spilling the magic beans about the strategies and tactics I used to fight my Nay-sayer, and I will. But I’m afraid I will also be letting you down as I tell you. No, I didn’t fall off the beer wagon during my struggle. No, I didn’t take cheap shots at the monster by fighting unfairly. And I’m not saying I fought my Nay-sayer in ways that disgraced me in the eyes of God and my family. I kept my side of the fight principled and humane. The fact that I’m once again feeling like myself enough to be back to writing TIE O’ THE DAY is evidence enough that most certainly—if only temporarily, until the next skirmish—I conquered my Nay-sayer. Unfortunately for Skitter and the neighbors, I’ve even been singing “We Are The Champions” repeatedly since my win. Nevertheless, what I will now disclose to you about my triumph will surely disappoint you for this reason: because what I have discovered over and over throughout my time on the planet is that—and here it comes—there are no magic beans to help you slay a Nay-sayer—especially your inner Nay-sayer. There are no tricks, charms, spells, or shortcuts either. Indeed, there’s no bigly scoop I can report to you about how best to slaughter your own private Nay-sayer. You are ultimately the lone front-line soldier in your one-person squadron. In the end, this is a fight between you and your worst enemy—who happens to be the same person you see every time you look in a mirror. You must get out of your own way. You must stand up in defense of your best qualities, and you must scrupulously exorcise the worst in you—which is, of course, your Nay-sayer.
I can offer up only a distilled recipe that has, so far, worked for me. Perhaps it can serve you well, too. Resilience is so important to successfully navigating the heave-and-ho, up-and-down, mysterious roller coaster we call life. I’ve been trying to figure out just how to fine-tune whatever resilience I can muster, and so I had to break down for myself what exactly resilience is. I think it is not all that complicated. Resilience—in my opinion—is the quality born of patience and endurance. It is simply hanging on, through the passage of time. It is out-waiting the Nay-sayer. It is letting your self-destructive state of mind tire itself out. It is Muhammad Ali’s rope-a-dope tactic. It is having the courage to be patient with yourself as you endure the Nay-sayer’s unwanted visit. It is the realization that—all things being otherwise healthy—the Nay-sayer will eventually recede. Heck, without inviting the Nay-sayer to move in with you, offer it a quick refreshment (maybe a heapin’ helpin’ of funeral potatoes), and then gradually ease the monster out your front door. It will visit you from time to time, because it is a part of you. Be ready, but don’t panic. You don’t have to make it your friend, but you do need to be able to recognize it when it shows up at your doorstep looking to start a fight.