Saturday morning, we drove to Deltassippi to spend some time with Mom. Mom loved Skitter’s heart-covered Tie o’ the Day. She also told me she loved my socks, shirt, and Bow Tie o’ the Day. I think my shirt was her favorite part of my attire. She notices things, and the things she notices give her joy.
Mom’s week had been a rough one, but she is feeling spry again. Mom and Suzanne spent a lot of the visit discussing how the world works, and how to handle the bad stuff gracefully. They also discussed how if men had to have babies, every child would be an only child. Mom thinks women are really the tough ones, and I can’t disagree with that. Also, The three of us lamented the fact that we couldn’t be drinking on the porch to do this kind of solve-the-world’s-problems chatting anymore.
Every time we visit Mom, she asks how Suzanne’s parents are doing. Mom has only met them one time, years ago, but Mom has never forgotten how much she enjoyed their company. She considers them part of our family, as do I. Fortunately, Suzanne’s parents are usually doing well, which Mom is glad to hear.
Another question Mom always throws Suzanne’s way is, “Are you ready to retire yet?” She knows how hard Suzanne works, and she is determined that Suzanne retire soon—so she can just play. I think Mom will relax when Suzanne’s finally done working even more than Suzanne will.
We left Mom as she was finishing up her lunch. I said my farewell and gave Mom a mask kiss and gentle bearhug, then tearily walked away with the Skit. Neither of us wanted to go. Suzanne and Mom said their goodbyes to each other for the longest time. Skitter and I had to finally just stop and wait for Suzanne to catch up to us down the hall. I asked what she and Mom had been talking about for so long. True to her character, Mom had given Suzanne her thanks and appreciation: she told Suzanne that she’s glad I have Suzanne to take such good care of me. I second that.
So we had a fine visit with Big Helen. The next day, I was on the phone with my Sister Who Wishes To Remain Nameless. She told me she had asked Mom about how her visit with Suzanne and I had gone the day before. Mom replied that I hadn’t been to visit her for weeks. That kind of sums up how it is with Mom these days. When you’re with her, she seems quite present and aware of the basics. But the minute you’re out of her presence, you are very much gone—except in long ago memory. She is so much closer to her past than to her recent. Still, her love for us shows through the haze, and it’s clear she can still feel ours. If she gets to the point that she retains only one vivid connection before she eventually goes, I hope it’s our love. If she does, she won’t be afraid. And neither will we. 💝
😊