Mom And I Ain’t Askeered

Bow Tie o’ the Day is one of my favorites to wear. I have a grand time showing off my novelty neckwear– like my Skittles bow tie, or my wood mustache bow ties, or my Band-aid tie. But I never tire of a simply beautiful, colorful tie of any type.

Paisley is probably my fave design pattern, so I tend to collect ties with paisles (my word) on them. Polka dots are fabulous too. But when I’m cremated, I guarantee I will be wearing one of my paisley bow ties. I have given that instruction to Suzanne already. At some point, I will need to designate which bow tie it will be, but I’m not thinking about it yet. Hey, I’m not dwelling on dying. I don’t expect to do it soon. (Knock on wood.) And my surgery probably bought me a decade more than if I hadn’t had it. (Knock on wood again.)

I can’t deny death has been on my mind the last few years. I figured my Hanky Panky would take me out of the game long before we could do anything about the dang organ. But mostly, it’s Mom who has had me thinking about death. Her death.

Even before she broke her hip last year and things have kinda headed downhill for her health-wise, Mom would occasionally say to me– out of the blue– things like, “Write this down. I want so-and-so to speak at my funeral.” Or, “Here. I want this picture on my funeral program.” She’s also been giving away her possessions for a few years. She’s been downsizing. I guess you could consider that to be a way of unpacking her baggage for her next, last trip. We all travel light when we die.

I think that since Dad died, in 2007, she has been making her peace with the end of her turn on the planet. She certainly has never stopped living a loud life, but she hasn’t been shy about talking with me about her death. She is not afraid of it. And I have heard her say a few choice words to Dad about getting off his lazy butt and climbing out of his grave– so obviously she can joke about it. But ultimately, Mom is very clear that she is not done here yet. Yay!

Personally, I think Mom is one of the Three Nephites (Mormon reference), so she’ll never die. She’ll just wander around in her housecoat doing good deeds, for time and all eternity.

I’m cool with that.

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