Just Out Buying Suzanne’s Water And Skitter’s Chews

Houndstooth, floppy Bow Tie o’ the Day ventured to Walmart with me this afternoon. I would have been all alone otherwise. And I have to say that I’m loving my “Toadsuck” hat, which I got in Arkansas earlier this month. I bought a second cap which spells the place’s name with two words: Toad Suck– which is the correct way to spell it. I’m kinda thinking one of the reasons Toad Suck, AR is a sucky place is that some people there don’t know how to spell it. Or they don’t know how to spell it consistently. For example, I purchased this hat at the Toad Suck One-Stop convenience store. Did ya catch that? The store spells its name as two words (correct), but sells the one-word Toadsuck baseball caps.

In a previous post, I mentioned that Toad Suck wasn’t much more than a mud-flooded park area and the convenience store. But I am so glad I visited the place. In conversations now, if there’s a lull, all I have to do is say, “Been to Toad Suck lately?” And I can start out sentences thus: “When I was in Toad Suck, Arkansas….” All ears are peeled to hear what comes after those words. I try to come up with something interesting.

The name itself throws people off kilter. I can say things that are technically true, although there’s no way in the world they will actually happen. For example, I can say, “I’ve been thinking we should build a house in Toad Suck when we retire.” People don’t know what to think. I don’t have any intention to retire to any place called Toad Suck, but it’s not a lie to say I’m thinking of it because I have thought of it for long enough to say the sentence. And it’s worth saying the sentence to see people’s faces get quizzical about the place.

Nobody has to have heard of Toad Suck, AR before I bring it up, in order for it to grab their focus. The ridiculous name is enough to get people paying attention. I dare you: Use TOAD SUCK in a sentence when you’re talking to at least one person. Watch the face. You won’t regret it. And feel free to report the reactions.

BTW I’ve had a few people ask what Toad Suck means when they’ve seen me wearing the hats. One person looked downright scared to ask me about it, but the urge to ask was too strong. The power of two words!