This dear deer Bow Tie o’ the Day is also a nod to Rob, who in his younger years managed to grow some of the scraggliest Deer Hunt Beards I have ever seen. He could down a trophy buck, but he could not grow a trophy beard.The early morning Rob passed away, it was my niece, Steph who called to give me the news. She asked if I’d inform my three other siblings that Rob was gone. We all have cellphones, so even though it was quite early, I was confident I’d easily get through to the people I most needed to talk to at that tragic moment. I’m the baby of the family and one of my siblings was now gone—and I felt like I needed to talk to my remaining brother and sisters with an urgency I hadn’t felt before. I needed the connection to them RIGHT NOW. I called Anne first, because—living in Delta—she was literally the closest of us to Mary and the entire situation. I got no answer. I called Ron. I got no answer. I called BT/Mercedes. Again, I got no answer. I left messages for each of them to call me ASAP. Three calls, three strikes. I had struck out. I texted them. I kept calling them over and over until I got them. I really did feel like an orphan and it was lonely. I do recall ranting loudly around the house at all three of my siblings about how it it was ridiculous that we all have mobile phones and I still couldn’t get in touch with even one of them in an emergency! For the next hour or so until they had each finally returned my calls, I chewed them and their smartphones out bigly—in my head and out loud. I could focus my sad anger on phone technology and my remaining siblings not getting back to me. It’s not like I could chew out Rob at that very moment. I have, however, read him the riot act in many moments since that day. Grief is a fickle thing. It sneaks up on you and makes you feel all the feelings you least want to feel. Working through those difficult and complex feelings is what you have to do, though, in order to get up every morning and create the rest of your meaningful life—for yourself and those folks who love you.
😢