As you can probably imagine, whatever home I have lived in has automatically become its own skiwampus universe. Normal occurrences rarely happen within my four walls. I am the twist, the tilt, the skew. Where I go, things are not-quite-normal. I can’t fully explain the reason this happens, but as the cliche says, “It is what it is.” Or, as Popeye says, “I am what I am.” You might have The Elf on the Shelf in your house, for example, but in this house, we have the The Elf on a Bow Tie. Today, we have The Elf on a Bow Tie in a Toaster. It has watched me all day, and I have tried to behave as nicely as I possibly can. I’ve been hankering for some cinnamon toast, however, and I don’t dare ask The Elf on a Bow Tie in a Toaster to find a new vantage point from which to spy on my naughty/nice behavior. I hope it moves soon. I guess I’ll make cinnamon toast tomorrow.
Holiday Tie Tally: 129 Neckties. 43 Bow Ties.