I know it’s time for a hairscut when my Spock ear gets all covered up, but today it feels like the end of my head hairs’ world. You see, I am in dire need of my noggin hairs being hacked off and otherwise managed, and I just found out Miss Tiffany—the masterful cutter o’ my head hairs—no longer works at Great Clips. She is, in fact, nowhere to be found. Now I know how Mom felt when Vonnie retired! Where, oh, where did my Miss Tiffany go? She appreciates my style, and she knows how to wrangle my straight, limp hairs, like no other of these “up north” shear-wielders can. She is a prize I lucked into finding, and now it seems I’ve lost her. Woe is me! And woe-er are my head hairs! The end is near! I hate when that happens.
And then suddenly, just as mustache Bow Tie o’ the Day and I began to surrender to the end of life as we know it and plan a full-out pity party for me and my head hairs, Suzanne texted me from work and said, “Your Miss Tiffany just called me. She wants us to know she’s cuttin’ hairs at a new place now. Here’s the phone number.” Yay! All is right with the world! No pity party needed! No hirsute end of times! No Hairs-pocalypse!
I’m crossing my pancreas that Miss Tiffany is working tomorrow.💇✂️🔪💈