I feel obligated to point out stoopid products I run across. Brown-and-tan Bow Tie o’ the Day was afraid to get near this one. I was too, at first. But we put our disgust aside and gathered our bravery so I could acquire it. I bought it for you. I care about you, and I sacrificed to bring it to your attention. Consider yourselves forewarned.
This is chocolate-flavored lip balm, and it is packaged with a bigly poop emoji printed on its cap. Who came up with the idea to market chocolate-flavored lip balm in this manner? Who wants to put pretend poop on their lips? Who wants to encounter the implication that it’s not chocolate in the tiny tin? Not me– even if it’s clearly chocolate-flavored lip balm. I kinda hope I don’t know anyone whose brain would come up with such a rank idea.
If a tin o’ this kind of lip balm is the only cure, I prefer my chapped lips to simply chap until they crumble off my face. Just the thought of slathering this paraffin “poop” anywhere sickens me. Do not buy this item. It will only encourage the lip balm makers to produce more of this crap (no pun intended), and to produce even grosser things nobody needs. We certainly do not need more gross-osity on the planet.
But even as I’m doing my duty to warn you about this item, I know I’m part of the problem. I only bought the product so I could give y’all a heads-up, but I did– in fact– buy it. I guess the lip balm company’s marketing worked, didn’t it? If they keep producing 💩, blame me for keeping them in business.