I Am A Christmas Turkey

In the 70’s, we playfully—and trendily—called each other “turkey.” If you called someone a “jive turkey,” that meant you were calling them on their bullsh#%. My new, lighted turkey hat has made me hark back fondly to my kidhood’s carefree “turkey” days. And it also reminds me I need to start planning the menu for the upcoming pandemic Christmas feast for me and Suzanne. How can I top Thanksgiving’s spread? I shall make it my mission to find a way.

I should probably mention that I like hats, in case you couldn’t tell. Wearing the perfect hat is an important part of starring in the circus we call life. As much as I don’t want to admit it, ties cannot carry the entire burden of making a person be their self-est self. (Don’t quote me on that if you ever visit the occupants of my Tie Room.) Hats help the hip be cool, and they help the un-hip remain disguised.

I am wearing a trifecta o’ Bow Ties o’ the Day this morning. One is red-white-and-green plaid. One is black-red-and-gray plaid, dotted with white snowflakes. The third is row upon row of ribbon-topped red-blue-and-green wrapped Christmas presents.

Shop on, folks!

Holiday Tie Tally: 134 Neckties. 59 Bow Ties.

Skitter’s Holiday Tie Tally: 16 Neckties.

#wearthedangmask #actlikeyougiveadarn #lighttheneighborhood

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