For my 3rd—and final—ERCP (scope down the throat) of the summer at the University of Utah Hospital, I wore my ever-faithful, ever-amusing Skittles Bow Tie o’ the Day. You’ll note that I also wore my neckties Face Mask o’ the Day for the added good tie vibes I thought might be helpful in my quest to get the proverbial dragons slayed in my Cranky Hanky Panky. But the good doctor, the good bow tie, the good necktie vibes, the good multi-denominational prayers (thanks, y’all) from my family and friends—well, none of it was enough to allow my doc’s gadgets to rip that stone out of my pancreas on his third try. So surgery, it is. Based on past experience with my rocky pancreas, I figured surgery was where I’d end up, right from the start. But sometimes you have to try other things along the way, in the process of getting to the one bigly necessary step you most don’t want to take. Ain’t nobody wanna be sliced open! But, apparently, it is time. Surgery is scheduled for early September at Huntsman. I’m bummed out about it, but I’m also grateful there is a likely solution to my stoopid pancreatic boulder pain.