And Now It’s Time For This Iconic Selfie, Plus Another

This is the third year in a row I have posted the same pix of me wearing this onesie/thong holiday-wear which some reader sent me in 2020. So far, the first photo is perfect for showing off this revealing oddity o’ clothing someone so graciously gifted me, so I don’t yet feel the need to take new selfies. Note that I’m also wearing a Rudolph Bow Tie o’ the Day, as well as a Rudolph Necktie o’ the Day. The blue-and-gold paisley Face Mask o’ the Day is a crowning touch to my get-up. It looks lush, if I do say so myself. 🦌

Banned Books o’ the Day: Today, I’m re-reading a couple of once-banned books published in the early 70’s. The first, THE CONTEMPORARY AMERICAN POETS: AMERICAN POETRY SINCE 1940 (edited by Mark Strand), was once the target of banning by a group of really feeble university poetry professors who thought it would poison the minds of poetry readers, because most of the poems in the book don’t rhyme and don’t follow traditional poetic forms. I have a feeling those old goats all passed on long ago—so modern poetry is safe from further judgment by those ol’ relics of the Snooty Rhymes-and-Forms Poetry Club .

The second banned book is THE WORLD SPLIT OPEN: FOUR CENTURIES OF WOMEN POETS IN ENGLAND AND AMERICA, 1552-1950 (edited by Louise Bernikow). And what was the reason for trying to ban this collection? Some goober male wanna-be poet was offended that there were no male poets represented in the book. Hello! The title tells you way, way, way up front that the book’s purpose is to be a collection of poetry written by women. Oy, vey! I cannot make up this asinine reasoning.

Oddly enough, I bought both of these banned books at Deseret Book in the University Mall, in Orem, around 1978. At that time, that particular Deseret Book store’s poetry section—as far as I can recall—had only these two poetry anthologies; every Rod McKuen book known to the Library of Congress; a Carol Lynn Pearson book or two (but not her books with the poems about life sometimes being a messy business); and one very dusty copy of a book of Elizabeth Barrett Browning poems—in which Browning counts the ways. That was it—out of all the poetry written since recorded time, that was the entirety of Deseret Book’s poetry section back then. So I bought these two purportedly scandalous anthologies, and the Rod McKuen and Carol Lynn Pearson books. I already had Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s poetry tucked away at home, in my bedroom library. In those days, I bought whatever poetry I could find, wherever I could find it. I guess it’s kinda like what I still do, eh?

It’s That Time Again

Yup, it’s time once again for me to display the annual Balls ‘n’ Ho’s neckties and bow ties photo. It’s become a Christmas tradition for TIE O’ THE DAY. These photos don’t show all of my Balls ‘n’ Ho’s neckwear, but this is a bigly chunk of it. You can see I enlisted 2 of my Chuck Brown Christmas trees to aid me with the theme. Just as the Balls ‘n’ Ho’s post is a tradition, it is also a tradition for me to make few/zero comments about the theme, and to let you know you are free to make your own jokes about the display, among your own people. (Just don’t make ’em hateful.) Hey, a wee bit o’ irreverence is good for dealing with the inherent stresses of the holiday season. I promise. ☃️

Banned Books o’ Today: I am re-reading Harriet Beecher Stowe’s UNCLE TOM’S CABIN, and Richard Wright’s NATIVE SON. (Are you beginning to recognize a theme here, about what kind of books get banned?)

I Didn’t Mean To Write About Mom, But I Did

We here at TIE O’ THE DAY believe that you can never have enough leg lamps of any ilk. It’s just plain true that 2 real leg lamps and 1 leg lamp Tie o’ the Day make a jolly trio in the house. When I next drive down to Deltassippi to visit Mom at the care center, I will be wearing this same tie. I wear it for her at least once every Christmas season. In fact, she has one of my A CHRISTMAS STORY leg lamps in her room there. It is tiny and plugs into a regular electrical outlet. It is visible on one of her tables or in her window most of the time. Tie o’ the Day will make Mom laugh throughout the entire visit. Mom’s short-term memory is such that she will see and enjoy the leg lamp tie the minute we walk in her room, then she’ll forget it, then 10 minutes later she will notice it again, and so on—as if every time she notices the tie, it’s the first time she’s seen it that day. (Mom loves A CHRISTMAS STORY. I think it was BT/Mercedes’ family who introduced the movie to Mom.)

For a while now, Mom has had a tendency to repeat her stories, jokes, and questions. But she still knows who we are and remembers enough about us to have conversations about our lives. She has, however, begun to ask me how many kids she had, and which one am I. She seems to remember from the early-30’s up to the mid-80’s pretty well, for the most part. Sometimes now she mixes up who did what and where. But we never correct her. We heard the stories when her memory was great, so we know who did what and where. If you happen to run into her at the care center this holiday season, I suggest you let her know who you are and who your parents are. Chances are, she’ll be able to place you or at least your family, and you can enjoy a fun conversation with her. No matter what she remembers or doesn’t remember, she’s still got her spunk, her compassionate heart, and her humor. She is still a joy to be around.

I didn’t intend to write about Mom today. The words simply fell out of my fingertips. I miss Mom every day. Lately, I can’t think about her without crying, as I’m doing now. I miss her even when I’m with her. I am already in mourning for her, though she’s still here with us. She’s Mom, but she is not wholly Mom. Pieces of her are no longer part of her. I mourn those pieces—her wildly aware and knowing love; her full-of-stories memory; and her astute cognition. Her hugs are not whole anymore either. But they are precious to me beyond any riches or success I might ever have. 💎 💰 🏆

Today’s Banned Books: I’m re-reading OF MICE AND MEN, by John Steinbeck, and Anne Frank’s DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL. Two literary classics.

We Interrupt Our Holiday Tie Posts For This Important Milestone

Our Tie o’ the Day in this photo belongs to my niece, the dapper Amanda Jo Tucker—which is a name she is generally not known by. She has always been called Mimi. Mimi belongs to my oldest sister, BT/Mercedes and Nuk. Like me, she is the baby of her family. Like me, she is the 5th of 5 siblings. Mimi and I have been tight since the Pre-existence, when were were often caught together laughing way too loudly and making the other spirits laugh louder than that. I refer to her as my Wee Doppelganger. We share interests, humor, and cultural knowledge of things before our time and beyond our years. I tell y’all these things because I am flat-out proud of Mimi’s latest accomplishment. As of a couple of days ago, Mimi achieved 6 years of sobriety. Clap now! And clap loudly! 👏🏻 And Mimi, I will tell you what I sometimes have to tell myself: “You can have a drink tomorrow.” Fortunately, it is always today. 🥛

I Can’t Not See The Words On My Arms

Tie o’ the Day displays a colorful gaggle of Santa-hatted hot peppers. I would be generous and give this tie to Gary of the Hot Condiments if I thought he would ever wear a tie, but he won’t. So I won’t. My Shirt o’ the Day is full of Christmas gnomes, although this photo doesn’t display them well. I will wear it again soon in a different pose, so you can see the gnome clan. Wearing gnomes makes me want to come up with a joke whose punchline is punny, like “gnomenclature.” I’ll get right on that assignment.

I’ve topped off today’s attire with my gingerbread people sun hat. My kindness and empathy tats go with every outfit, whether they are visible or not. They are never out of style, if you use them. This time of year, we always talk bigly about kindness, empathy, compassion, and peace. But there are people who are in need of these things every day of the year—not just on holidays. I think we should make it a habit to put these ideas to work every day, whenever we see the need. I know I’m blessed with what these words mean. Are you? I think it’s our responsibility to share our blessings with those who are deprived of the love and security we might have plenty of. We can offer friendship to the lonely and despondent. Just look around, and you will see need. We can make an impact on the suffering of others—one person or one family at a time. I guarantee you there is need in your own neighborhood right now, if you will pay attention.

Today’s Banned Book I’ve been re-reading: John Steinbeck’s EAST OF EDEN. This is what I consider to be the first intensely grown-up novel I had ever read, probably when I was in 6th grade. It was also the longest book I had read up to that point. I had heard of John Steinbeck’s OF MICE AND MEN (which has itself been banned at times from some school districts’ bookshelves) but I hadn’t read it yet. On a trip with Mom, to the University Mall in Orem, this was the only John Steinbeck book I managed to find in a bookstore. EAST OF EDEN is, in essence, a re-telling of the Old Testament stories of the Garden of Eden, and Cain and Abel. (Remember, this Steinbeck book is where I also got the name Abra for my Maverick.) In EAST OF EDEN, I learned a word that I have thought of almost every day of my life since I read the book: timshel. Timshel is a Hebrew word meaning the freedom to chose between good and evil. It loosely translates as “thou mayest choose.” The word has been a kind of North Star for me over the decades. No matter the situation—the problem, the failure, the disappointment, the success, the reward, the triumph, the whatever—it is always up to me to make the choice between acting for good (which I’ll call love) or acting for evil (which I’ll call hate). I alone determine what kind of person I am, what kind of actions and vibrations I add to the world. With each bigly or tiny choice I make, I make myself in my own image. I hope the image turns out to be a noble one.

Just The Facts, Ma’am

I am a lover of facts. Even if I don’t like the facts, I like knowing them because they are the truth. I am no denier of a public health crisis, the safety of vaccines, US election results, or of where a certain US president was born. One thing I have found myself to be denying recently is the season of the year in which we all find ourselves: Fall. I have caught myself denying that summer is gone. It doesn’t make it true, but I’ll be stubborn about staying in my denial for as long as I want. If I turn up the heater to its highest temperature, being warm in shorts is not a problem. I can easily spend time denying summer is truly gone—as long as I don’t look outside or go outside. But I am fully aware of the fact that my denial of Fall is my own fake denial. There’s reality, and then there’s the reality of my pretending. Reality and pretending: folks, they are two very different things. I’m still festively attired for Christmas, but my Tie o’ the Day tells you what I’d prefer to be shoveling. Please note my socks are labeled: Sock 1 and Sock 2. 🏖

Banned Books I’m re-reading today: Lorraine Hansberry’s play, A RAISIN IN THE SUN, and Maya Angelou’s novel, I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD SINGS. I give ’em each a thumbs-up, just like I did when I first read them in the DHS library when I was in 7th grade. However, I do want to make one general statement about I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD SINGS. I think we should worry less about banning this book, in which a child is raped—and has to deal with the awful aftermath of the rape. I think our time would be better spent educating our sons about how rape is always wrong, and about how rape not only causes physical damage to a girl’s/woman’s body, it can maim—and even kill—parts of a woman’s soul. We can make it clear to all the men in our lives that rape is unacceptable. Rape is what we should try to ban. If rape were not such a common atrocity for girls/women in real life, it wouldn’t be represented so often in the stories written about women—fact and fiction. And BTW, guys: there is no “joke” about rape that is funny. Personally, I grew tired of those jokes the first time I heard one.

Two More Things About This Past Weekend

Although my dad died 15 years ago on Dec. 4th, yesterday is also a happily significant date in our family because my grandnephew, Bosten, was born on this date a few years before Dad’s passing—so the two of them got to pal around with each other often. So Merry Birthday, Bos! I will not state Bosten’s age here, because it makes his mom, Kathi, feel too, too old. I will say that Bosten is still in high school, so that gives those of you outside the family a clue about how many trips he’s made around the sun. When Bosten’s sister, Ronni, was born a few months after Dad passed, her parents named her after Dad. When Ronni learned to talk, and the topic of Dad came up, she was adamant that she had spent time with him and knew exactly who he was. I don’t doubt it one bit.

Also, yesterday, I “decorated” the pantry for Christmas. It was easy. I simply put the green Folgers (decaffed) coffee right next to the red Folgers (caffed) coffee. Bite Me Tie o’ the Day was a bigly help to me in that never-did-it-before decorating job. 👔

Yes, It Is Still Pajama Day In This House

I really have stayed in my pj’s all day. I also got out my Christmas-themed jackets, as you can see for yourself. I’m a little sad though, because my sleep cap’s tassle has fallen off somewhere, and I can’t find it. Suzanne will re-attach it to my cap if I can locate it, so I’ll sleuth around for it. I saw no reason not to find a Santa-hatted cat Bow Tie o’ the Day, to complement this morning’s Santa-hatted dogs. In fact, some of the felines are wearing reindeer antlers. Now, it’s late afternoon, and while I’m assembling a cabinet/end table to hold my sundries, I’m still reading Dolly Parton’s SONGTELLER when I take breaks from the tiny screws and dowels and bigly chunks o’ wood. I like a bunch of Dolly’s songs, but my absolute favorite is one called “The Grass Is Blue.” Its vibe is every bit as forlorn as Hank Williams’ “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry.” I’m always up for a heartbreakingly woeful “unrequited love” song. The sadder, the better. I doubt I’m the only one.Hey! I’m still thinking about how to handle my Christmas tie-wearing over the next month. At last count, I had over 500 holiday bow ties and neckties. I have started way too late this year to even begin to somehow wear all of them for you folks during this season of giving. When I triumphantly managed to wear the whole collection a few years ago, I had to rest my neck from January 2 until my birthday in March. That many ties are heavy when you’re wearing a dozen or 20 at a time. In fact, I don’t know if I can ever take on that mission again. But for X-mas 2022, I need some theme, or some gimmick, to help me select some of the best entertaining ties from my holiday tie collection. I am currently stuck for an idea. I shall devote the rest of my Pajama Day to reaching a decision on this matter.FYI I’m also pulling my holiday face masks out of storage. I shall wear them because I like them so very much, and they add to my other seasonal attire.

I Will Always Love Dolly

There’s close to 5 inches of snow on the ground this morning, and it’s still coming down, albeit lightly. I’ve declared a Pajama Day for myself, which includes wearing my sleep cap to keep my head and ears warm. I’ve also donned my Santa-hatted yellow lab puppies Bow Tie o’ the Day, and selected a book Suzanne gave me a while back for my morning reading—the Dolly Parton book, SONGTELLER. In this book, Dolly writes about her life and how she came to craft the lyrics of songs she has penned over the decades. It’s fascinating reading, whether or not you’re a Dolly fan. Excellence is excellence, no matter where you find it. Personally, I think Dolly’s songwriting is on par with that of Leonard Cohen or Joni Mitchell—although in an entirely different manner. In keeping with the vibe of TIE O’ THE DAY, I give you a photo of Ms. Parton wearing her own Tie o’ the Day, on what appears to be the set of the film, 9-5. 📄 🎼

Eatin’ Out Fancy For T-giving Dinner

Yup, we went to BAMBARA again this year for our Feast o’ Thanks. It was chilly enough outside that I brought out my Suzanne-made wintry cape for Thanksgiving 2022. I went with a Tie o’ the Day festooned with a prominent pumpkin pie. I am including a picture of the menu, so you can see how yummified our eats were. And everything brought to our table was superior. I was partial to the dessert, of course. Suzanne and I were both pleasantly surprised by the tart green beans. Suzanne chose what turned out to be, according to her face, a do-over bottle of a Riesling wine. She granted me permission to smell her filled glass, and even from merely sniffing, I could tell the wine would have a splendid taste. For my part, I drank four Diet Cokes throughout dinner. I swear I felt a bit tipsy.

As we were finishing up and getting ready to leave, Suzanne gave me a look, and I gave her a look. We had been thinking the same thing at exactly the same time. She whispered it first: “I want us to buy that guy’s Thanksgiving dinner.” I told her I was just going to propose the same thing to her. There was a guy sitting a few tables from us, eating all alone. He looked really, really alone. And so we paid for his meal and left before he was informed someone already paid his check. We hope it perked him up.