Category: Ties

Tie o’ the Day #LOTS!

A Stacy Adams tiepile! And Skitter felt the urge to jump in and transform it into a true DOGPILE!!!

Tie o’ the Day #1 is a purple harlequin wonder. Very spiffy. It is from ALFANI. Shirt is a Bugatchi, of course.

I wrote out a list of chores on a Post-it note, listing Tie’s assignments for today. Tie got started early, and began doing some much-needed ironing for the household. Good Tie!

When I was a wee sprite, one day while Mom was at work at the Delmart,  I decided to learn to iron. Unfortunately, I began my ironing education by attempting to iron my swimming suit. Guess who melted her swimming suit? And then I tried to hide the iron-shaped, melted spot by secretly letting it go for a spin in the washer, putting in gallons of Tide. Foam escaped the washer lid, so I used every towel in the house to sop that up. Of course, that washer venture wasn’t successful in restoring my swimsuit.

My thinker then decided that because there were heavy-duty chemicals in the city pool (the old outdoor pool), going for a swim session would surely put the swimsuit back into its original state. But still no luck with that. Alas, I had to confess my well-meaning misstep to my mother. Fortunately for me, she thought it was a funny story. Whew! I never ironed in that house again. Nor did I do any laundry. Mom’s heart was gladdened about all that. 😇

Tie o’ the Day invaded my office in the loft a few minutes ago. I was busily doing the hunt-and-peck thing at my keyboard–writing money-making poetry, which doesn’t really make much money. And then much to my amusement, the scoundrel hopped up on the printer/copier to do what we’ve all done during office parties where the holiday punch was purposely spiked. Like each of us once did, Tie o’ the Day made copies of its butt! Yup, I did that once. Oops! (At least I did that before the internet, so I probably don’t have to be afraid the copies will show up anywhere in my future.)

Perhaps I haven’t always been the best example for my ties and bow ties. But Heck Tate,  that was way back in the 80’s. I have repented many times since then, for many 80’s things. And for the 90’s things. And for the 00’s and 10’s stuff too. As evidence of my contrition, I can show you dozens of pairs of jeans where the knees are worn completely out from my dropping to my knees to pray for forgiveness for my various missteps.

Gee, all that repenting makes me sound like a not-so-perfect person. I guess we are all in that same sailboat, huh? And I guess that’s the reason we are supposed to help each other move through the choppy waves of life. That’s what people are for. I’m gonna repeat something I’ve preached often: Things are meant to be used. People are meant to be loved.

 

Tie o’ the Day #1 (from Croft & Barrow) has been listening to Sia. Clearly, Tie decided it was “gonna swing from the chandelier.” Obviously, the tie hijinks is not out of Tie o’ the Day’s system. I don’t mind this tie action (and I do like the song) as much as I mind Tie singing “Chandelier” over and over, since tie does not have a pleasant singing voice.

I don’t mean to brag, but I have a spectacular singing voice–as long as I’m alone in the car belting loudly with every song on every cd I crank up. Currently, I am listening almost exclusively to Mumford and Sons cd’s. The band is an acquired taste, so I’m not necessarily advocating that you all try a listen. If you’re musically adventurous, I think you’ll be pleased with them though.

The joke in my family about Mom singing us to sleep is that it was effective in putting us to sleep because we were trying to get our consciousness away from hearing it. Even she knows she can’t carry a tune: she drops tunes when she gives singing a try. I suppose I got more from my mother than just her name.  If you’re in my car with me, I promise I won’t torture you with my “speshul” crooning voice.

Tie o’ the Day #2 (from Cape Cod Neckwear) has spent the entire evening on the stairs, pretending to be a Slinky. Up, down, up down. For hours. The mutts played along with Tie for quite a while before they tuckered themselves out and went to bed. Finally, I had to send my lariat flying, in order to lasso the faux Slinky. I had to hogtie the darn thing just to get it to brush its teeth and go to bed. Whew! I’m exhausted. Time for me to pack it in for the night, myself.

Toodles, until tomorrow, folks. More mutinous ties to come.🤡

Tie o’ the Day #1 tied one on last night. This disheveled sight is what I found this morning when I went searching for the first Tie o’ the Day. Look at it: sleeping in, in a drunken stupor. The shame of it! Bad tie! (Also, observe the swell mustache pillowcase Suzanne made me. I’m spoiled.)

Speaking of being bad…On the I’m-trying-to-be-good subject…I do try very hard to be on The Good Side, in terms of my daily interactions with the world. Yesterday, as I was going through some files, I discovered the paperwork and certificate that designates me as minister in the Progressive Universal Life Church. I had forgotten I am a real Reverend. About a decade ago, I went online and became one for around $20. Yes, it’s real and legal.

I became a minister as a form of protest, before gay marriage was legal. As a minister,  I could legally “marry” straight couples, as in perform and make legal their marriages. But I could not “marry” my partner I’ve lived with for decades. It was a quiet kind of protest, but I made my point. Small things matter, even in the scheme of bigly, humongous things.

Now I have to find an appropriate spot in the house to hang my official Reverend certificate. And if you know of anyone seeking a minister to hitch them, I’m available. I will, of course, wear a Tie o’ the Day when I officiate at the ceremony.👔

 

 

 

Hello, tblog pals! Tie o’ the Day is a bow with matching puff-folded pocket square, from the designers at IZOD. Shirt is by Carbon. It sports a water-water-everywhere-and-not-a-drop-to-drink theme.

When I hear the islands call to me, of course I think of Gilligan’s Island and that 3-hour tour gone awry. And that makes me think of these terms: “deserted island,” “desert island,” and “dessert island.” (Utah’s own Antelope Island could be called a “Deseret island,” don’t ya think?))

Me? I vote for being stranded on a dessert island, surrounded by lemon bars, chocolate chip cookies, banana cream pie, and Mom’s toffee. And surrounded by DIRECTV, as well. I must have plenty o’ crime shows to watch while I consume the multitude of sugar-packed desserts which will surround me on such a yummy island–24/7. And 365.

Suzanne declared me DAPPER after I put this outfit together. (Note that “dapper” is a much under-utilized word.) I tend to choose to believe compliments Suzanne sends my way. I know she is biased in my favor, but a tip o’ the compliment hat just plain makes me feel giddy as I meander through my day.

Tie o’ the Day up above is a Nicole Miller. Hula dancer shirt is a Sonoma. Hip hat is from Quicksilver.

The above title says we are “preppers.” We are not preppers in the apocalyptic, world-is-about-to-end, everybody-should-have-a-bomb-shelter, the-government’s-comin’-to-take-our-guns-away kind of way. Nope,  we’re prepping for our Deltassippi yard sale next weekend. That’s the reason for Tie o’ the Day’s complete absence yesterday AND for its tardiness today. Please forgive Tie o’ the Day. We hate to let you down. We know you miss us bigly when we disappear. We hate to disappoint your curiosity, so trust that we will do better.

Anyhoo… With all this yard sale prep, we’ve been making a mess all over the house by sorting, bagging, boxing, dusting off, and categorizing. And we’ve actually stumbled on to a few items we didn’t even know we owned.

We did take a break from our sale preparations this afternoon when Suzanne was faint with hunger and wanted breakfast (for lunch) at The Rancher. After we ate, we visited Suzanne’s favorite amusement park in D-ville: Mom’s Crafts–where she gleefully touches every bolt of material, every spool of thread, and every skein of yarn.

What a trip to Mom’s Crafts means for me is that I drop Suzanne off in the parking lot, and head out on my own for a couple of hours. She’s supposed to text me when she’s ready for me to fetch her. The text never comes to me though, no matter how long I wait. Inevitably, I just give up and decide when to drive back to Mom’s Crafts. When I enter the store, the clerk is usually in the midst of measuring and cutting Suzanne’s bountiful haul. Suzanne then drags me around the store to see this, that, and it.  No matter when I show up to chauffeur her away, she is still not finished in the place. She will miss it bigly when we aren’t residents here anymore.

But hey, our already busy day was not yet done. We bought a new lawnmower at ACE. (We will sell said new mower at the final yard sale we throw here, so we don’t have to drag it to Centerville. Even though we are divesting ourselves of our Delta stuff, when you need a lawnmower, you need a lawnmower. You deal with it.) Well, Heck Tate, Suzanne immediately mowed The Beach House lawn, which more closely resembled an over-grown field before The Big Mow. How long did it take her? 3 sweaty hours. That’s right. She mowed the entire thing twice. We are lucky that she loves to mow the lawn. (She loves it almost as much as she loves using her glue gun. You should see how her face beams when I ask her if she will glue gun something for me. There is no emoji that remotely captures the happy happy, joy joy on her visage when a glue gun is in the vicinity.)

And finally, tbloglodites, let me add this tidbit about the D-ville lawn: If it weren’t for weeds, we’d have no lawn at all.😉

Tie o’ the Day #2 is a Croft & Barrow, covered in a garden of perky flora. I got this Bugatchi shirt off the clearance rack at Nordstrom Rack today, while Suzanne was finding cool duds off other the clearance racks. I mention this little shopping trip because it is destined to be known as That Time I Bought A Button-down That “Fits” Me. Well, it fits the way “they” say a shirt should fit a woman, including the spot where “June is busting’ out all over…”. (A ditty from Carousel, tblogophiles.) You know, that entire cleavage-y stuff.😮

I’m sorry, people. I can’t bear to wear the “right” size. The shirt’s got a purty pattern, in purty colors. It has a bit of a batik edge going for it in spots. In fact, I’d say it is a lovely shirt, and its fabulosity achieves greatness while paired with this tie. I am also told that the shirt is flattering to my saggy, ancient frame.

But I can’t move around in the gall-durn thing without Incredibly Hulking out of the shoulders. And I’m also afraid a button or two might shoot somebody’s eye out if they suddenly pop off and become projectiles. I might as well be dressed in a loaded gun! So back to the clearance rack at Nordstrom Rack, it goes– the first thing in the morning.

I tried so hard to fit in by wearing a ‘fit that fits. Alas, I guess I gotta keep going big in my bigly attire. 🤔

(Bow) Tie o’ the Day #1 is a nifty plaid IZOD, and it sorta almost kinda but-not-really matches the orange cassette tape on the retro Gap t-shirt. It’s too cold today to wear just a tee, so I’m throwing a heavy denim carhartt over it.

I used to make “mix/mixed tapes” for Mercedes Rae, and I would sneak songs on ’em by Madonna–which recording artist she had long vowed to never spend a dime on. Well, she never did. Nope, Mercedes Rae left it for me to buy the cd’s and to finance Madonna’s career, while she reaped the free benefits of a few groovy Madonna songs. I’m going to Hell for supporting a morally questionable singer, while Mercedes is going to Heaven cuz she was only an unwitting victim of my song choices.

FYI  Check out the tblog’s ALERTS! page. I have added two more “scary food” photos, for your viewing pleasure.😊