Category: Ties

Keep on truckin’, says my shirt. Tie o’ the Day #2 displays a plethora of martini glasses. Note that each drink has a green olive in it. I believe the olive to be superior to the cocktail onion in this drink.

I came to that conclusion back in the day, when I called Maryland my home. I lived on a funky, artsy street in a funky, artsy city called Takoma Park. Every year, we closed down our street for a bigly 24-hour block party. Blasting music. Dancing in the streets. Suntanning in the road. All that good stuff.

During the block party we wandered into and out of each other’s houses and yards, in no set order, and we ate or drank whatever was offered at each house. At my pal, Winthrop’s (his real name) house, the offering was martinis. That was it. No soft-shell crab, no fruit, no dessert, no cheese and crackers. Martinis By Winthrop, for the duration.

Anyhoo…I had not yet consumed a martini in my then-young life, but I was game to give it a try. I asked Winthrop about the cocktail onion versus the green olive hullaballoo. Of course, Winthrop said it couldn’t be explained so I should just consume one drink with the onion and one with the olive. Which I did. And thus, I formed my opinion that the green olive is the correct compliment to a martini.

So then I asked Winthrop what the difference was between shaken martinis or stirred martinis. Of course, he said it couldn’t be explained so I should just drink one of each. Which I did. (With a green olive in each.) I couldn’t taste any distinction between the two differently prepared martinis. But I did think it looked hipper to shake the concoction. And, lo and behold, by then I was too bigly buzzed to care anyway.

This tie is appropriate for me tonight because I ran out of Diet Coke and there’s only a bottle of club soda in the fridge. It is my belief that when one is out of Diet Coke and has to drink club soda, one has to use a fancy, elegant glass. Wine glass, shot glass, beer mug, brandy snifter, martini glass, Slurpee cup, etc.

Skitter picked out this 1901 brand Tie o’ the Day #1. It is her way of telling me she wants to go for a ride on a motorcycle. I hated to tell her that the motorcycles on the tie are as close as we are ever gonna get to owning one. Suzanne has forbidden me from owning one. Ever. It seems that she wants me to stay alive for a few more decades, and she’s paranoid that a cycle might jeopardize that.

We do not anything Suzanne forbids us from doing. We aren’t sure why. It’s not like she’s ever grounded us or sent us to time-out or any such thing. We just think it’s best to follow her rules. Just in case.

Dad let me have a red Kawasaki 250 when I was in college. It was the perfect size and had just the right amount of power for me. That doesn’t mean that real bikers on their much bigger toys didn’t smirk at me. But I was happy with bugs in my teeth anyway.😁

When I was working on my Master’s Degree, I drove a Honda Spree scooter. It could go up to 30 mph, if the wind was at my back. Suzanne says NO to my getting a scooter too. She did finally give me permission to get one to use only in Delta. But now, since I won’t be living there part-time anymore, it’s too late for me to make that purchase. Oh, well. 😞

Then again, because I won’t be buying a scooter, I will have more $$$ for dogs and ties. 🐶 👔

Tie o’ the Day #2, by 14TH & UNION, should give you a bigly hint about what I need to get taken care of ASAP: My hairs need some cuttin’! Note the rat-tail comb in my shirt pocket. The comb is remarkable because I haven’t combed my hair in probably 3 years. My “stylist,” Miss Sandy, cuts my hairs to my precise orders. And part of any cut I request is that my ‘do has to need no combing whatsoever.

I can remember in the 70’s it was a common practice among us school-going kids–male and female alike–to wear your comb in the back pocket of your jeans. The rat-tail combs sticking out of those pockets might as well have been ice picks. That kind of long, sharp comb-handle caused many an accidental hand-stabbing, especially when somebody would try to reach their arm around their honey’s waist.

Geez, I remember stupid things.

 

Church Bow Ties were sad to not be in Deltassippi to attend church this morning, so they found a hard wooden bench and decided to gather together to do some scripture study on their own. They are faithful to their beliefs–which word Devon pronounced “beefs” when he was a wee boy.

Fast and Testimony Meeting is our favorite church meeting to attend. We like to hear about individuals’ journeys to their belief system, and to hear about the ways in which they use their beliefs to navigate the twists of life.

When I was a very young kid, I thought the name of this meeting was actually “Fasten Testimony.” Like you were there to somehow have your testimony attached to your soul, kinda like a playing a spiritual  game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Weird, I know. But if you ponder this idea seriously, it is sort of accurate about what bearing your testimony can do for/to you.

And speaking of “bearing” your testimony… I think the word “baring” is a better way to think of it, since in giving your testimony, your soul is laid bare.

And speaking of the word “testimony”… I think of the tales told in The Rooms of AA as “drunkimonies” or “drunkologues.” You bare your soul to others like you, in your presentation of your wayward flailing/failing of bad choices. The groups do resemble church wards, with the same kind of responsibility to serve and care for other members.

#2 Tie o’ the Day is a blue-ly Stacy Adams match with the pin-up gals on this hip and groovy shirt by the Gitman Bros. company. No, I do not wear this shirt to church. And I certainly wouldn’t wear it to church with my purple Pimp Jacket. That would be taking things way too far. I do have to confess that I have worn the Pimp Jacket to church a couple of times. With a plain white shirt underneath it, the jacket loses enough of its pimp-ness to be completely church-worthy. I think.

Tie o’ the Day promises to produce a special photo of the Pimp Jacket in action, in the near future. Note: The Pimp Jacket does not drive a purple Cadillac. 😈

Tie o’ the Day #1 is a mostly sky blue Stacy Adams, with iridescent plaid and paisles. Tie and I decided it was high time (pun intended) for it to learn the skill of telling time. As you can probably guess from this photo, Tie is near-sighted and, therefore, has to be up close to the wall clock in order to accomplish this educational feat.

If I remember accurately, I already knew how to tell time before I began my Delta Elementary student career. My student-hood began ignominiously. For one thing, I was a thumb-sucker and had not yet completely given up the habit. As a result, I accidentally on-purpose dropped my pencil under my desk quite often throughout the day, so I could grab a quick thumb-toke.

And then, for another example, there was Mrs. Harder, my 1st Grade teacher. She told Mom that she thought I was “retarded.” That was bigly fun for me to hear. Fortunately, Mom wasn’t retarded, so she knew that assessment of my mental abilities was not correct.

When Mom asked me to explain why Mrs. Harder might think I was less than capable, she was able to discern that I was pretty much mute (not moot) and skittish in Mrs. Harder’s classroom. You see, Mrs. Harder did not seem to have “an inside voice.” In fact, she didn’t “speak” at all. She hollered her words. Mom figured out that said loud voice frightened me to the point of complete silence, since I had never before in my life heard adults yell. 😱 Those extra decibels probably account for my need to take thumb breaks while I sat at my 1st Grade desk.

And you’ll be glad to know that I easily dropped that specific habit/need, when I went to 2nd Grade. Becuz Mrs. June B. Reid had an inside voice. 🙃

Tie o’ the Day #1 and this pocketed shirt are about as clashy as ya can get. I call that fun. At the meat counter at Dick’s (wrong name for a grocery store) this morning, this look caused happy, bright eyes and compliments galore. There are the occasional “laughing at me” folks who gawk. But for the most part, Tie o’ the Day and I get thanks-for-the-fun-surprise folks looking in our direction. And, in turn, that makes Tie and I feel like we’ve done our job to inspire world peace.

Yesterday’s fantabulous get-up was such a hit that Suzanne made dinner reservations at Twigs, at Station Park, in Farmington so I could be seen in all my pure elegance. That was a blast, and the blackened trout with corn pudding was definitely tie-worthy.

Today, Suzanne is gonna duck out of work early to Champagne Garden Club (Yup, that’s a verb.) in Park City with the gals, leaving me to my own sinister freedom. I wonder what I’ll do. Don’t tell her, but I’m going to make a trek to the bigly city of Salt Lake to check out clearance ties. That’s how I roll. That’s my dastardly scheme.

Tie o’ the Day #1 will probably get a bit jealous of the other ties, especially if I bring one or two or a dozen home to live with us. But pretty soon, the old ties start playing with the new ties, and then the sibling rivalry turns into tie fun-and-games, 24/7.

[And, of course, our Tie o’ the Day #1 duds are from Stacy Adams and Bugatchi.]

I am not a big fan of the bling concept. I’m a minimalist when it comes to jewelry. Less is more, where the jewels and precious metals come to play with my attire. A ring or two, a few sets of earrings, and the occasional bracelet–that about covers my accessory needs.

But lo! This cheapo necklace is a must-have for Tie o’ the Day purposes. Clash fashion benefits bigly from the here-and-there touches of clothing cleverness. A doohickey like this tie/necklace adds a fun wink to an already funky wardrobe choice. This is not anything remotely like a “wardrobe malfunction.” This is high style, built to delight those who observe you as you dance across the world’s stage.

 

Tie o’ the Day drove 350 miles around the state with me today, so we are too tuckered to tell silly stories. But hey! Here’s Skitter, all dolled up in her own personal fave-rave tie!