Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Bow Tie o’ the Day isn’t speaking to me. I have no idea why, but I’m not gonna fret over it. We all get a bit non-talky sometimes. It might be because we’re angry, or because we know we’ll make matters worse if we speak. And sometimes we simply need to dwell in silence for a while. When I was a child, whenever Mom wasn’t talking to me and Dad, we knew she was in a snit. We just weren’t sure which one of us was in trouble. 😕
Wedding crasher Bow Ties o’ the Day can’t get enough of celebrations, Thus, the crashing. They crash any party they find out about. And, yup, here I am in a dress– probably the last time I wore a dress. This is my oldest sister’s wedding. And my Sister Who Wishes To Remain Nameless stands next to her. They are both hotties. See that look on my face? I was born a deep, dark thinker. I’ve had a forehead o’ worry lines since I was a wee babe.
Bow Tie o’ the Day’s terriers went with us on a rescue mission. We trekked to rescue a rescue dog pal for Skitter to be skittish of. Abby was an eight-year-old black lab. She was terrific, but she and Skitter didn’t have chemistry. In her skittishness, Skitter needs a canine companion who never touches her, or looks at her, or tries to play with her, or barks at her, or notices her in any way. Skitter wants a dog who is seen from afar. We’re still hunting.
Suzanne asked porcelain Bow Tie o’ the Day and me what our verdict about HAMILTON was, and I replied, “It was a little too sing-y and dance-y for my taste.” I’m not into musicals, but Suzanne wanted to go, so I spent an arm and two legs to score us tickets. It was worth it. We had a stupendous evening, and Suzanne enjoyed the production– which is worth sacrificing any number of limbs required to buy tickets. She adores me. I have no idea why. 🎭❣
Tie o’ Last Night is worn by Suzanne The Great. The tie’s hula skirt actually sways. Suzanne borrowed my shirt and tie for the Gala, cuz she doesn’t have beach clothing. Guess what she bid on, and won, in the silent auction? Mascara. I did not mis-type that. She bid an astronomical amount of money on mascara. Oh well, the money went to meet students’ needs. But still… MASCARA? Let me repeat that again: MASCARA! You can bet I’ll make her share it with me. Yeah, right! 👁 🏖
Police Tie o’ the Day has surrounded my laptop with crime-scene tape, so I can safely keep upping my bid online, on a silent auction prize I vow to win. I find out if I win the auction item tonight, when we attend a ritzy gala. There, we’ll participate bigly in eating and in the live auction. It’s a fundraiser for education, so the cause is pure. What do I covet? I’m bidding wildly on a ride-along with a cop. LIVE PD, here I come! 👮🏻♀️
Some days, even Bow Tie o’ the Day feels sorta sideways. We all do. We just can’t seem to face the day’s challenges straight-on. Oh, we’ll try, and we’ll muddle through in so-so form. We are all good pretenders and smilers when we need to be. Our minds will eventually focus. We’ll get ourselves back on track, following our various arrows in the right direction. Even when I’m at play in the fields of my bipolarity, I eventually find my footing and can fly right. So far. 🤞 ☘
No time for a weekend hangover. Blurred Tie o’ the Day helps me rise and obey my ever-growing to-do list. Stapler Cufflinks o’ the Day staple together all my little notes, written on bits o’ paper. This way, I don’t have to consolidate my tasks into one efficient master list. Master lists confuse me. Too many straight lines, making way too much sense. It works for me to use my scribbled shorthand, written on whatever scrap of paper is nearest. Stapled together, of course. 📝
Bow Tie o’ the Day is a clip-on, covered in butterflies. I’ve been told that when I was a kid, I called Butterfinger candy bars “Butterflyfingers.” As for clip-on ties of any kind, I’m not a fan, but they tend to be cheaper. And with some too-expensive ties, it can be worth it to go with the clip-on version. I liked bow ties from an early age. When I played Young Women’s church softball, I wore clip-on bow ties on my baseball shirts. I was weird. 🦋 ⚾
So I’m joyfully skipping around upstairs, picking out Tie o’ the Day, and here comes Suzanne– groaning and bent over like she’s in labor. Words are not necessary. One of those blasted kidney stones is stuck somewhere inside. We automatically took our roles in this routine. I handed her a pain pill. And she squat-walked back to bed. Tie choice was made easy: Tie o’ the Day displays Band-Aids and words o’ pain. Tie’s helping Suzanne rest and recover. We’re awaiting the impending birth of a rock. 👶