Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Solid color Bow Tie o’ the Day is donned by my oldest sibling, Mercedes (Betty Rae). Many people I grew up with don’t know she exists in my family. Here’s proof that she does. She’s fifteen years older than me and has always, as an adult, dwelled in Pleasant View– where Mom’s visiting her for a few days, before coming back to us. Because of the age difference, I don’t even remember Mercedes living in our house. Here, she’s enjoying the Pacific, practicing to be a topless dancer. 😎
Skitter has a remarkable fashion sense. Her Tie o’ the Day is an excellent choice: a clever wood tie, with a Charlie Brown shirt chevrons design. Skitter and Tie wanna be on the cover of VOGUE. I often go into The Tie Room and find them striking extravagant poses. The two of them are already catwalk divas, even though they pose in obscurity. In fact, this is the first actual photo of them together. After their modeling careers, we will definitely see them both in the movies, for sure. 🎥 🎞 📽
Bow Tie o’ the Day is kinda hiding cuz it’s frightened of bears, which makes sense. When we go for our daily walks, we often trek past the Centerville Rec Complex, where there are a variety of good-looking wood animal sculptures. When you live with Hanky Panky pain for 20 years, you have to learn to LIVE with it. What’s the point of being alive, if you stay in bed? So I walk. I bike. I go places. I actively love the people I love. And I post photos o’ neckwear. 👔
Last night, Bow Tie o’ the Day made us spend our remaining Bee Pig Date Night bucks. Suzanne and I broke the rule, by spending more than the coin bank’s balance. We’ll follow that single rule of Bee Pig Date Night next time. We chowed down outside at STANZA, where I took my new fave photo of me and Suzanne. Our faces show exactly how we are: impish and dreamy. And Suzanne looks like she’s enamored with me and my slapstick vaudeville act. My luck is fantastic. 🍀
On these posts, I tell you the truth about what’s going on with me, and I’m not stopping now. I like to come up with a hee-haw about everything, good and bad. It’s how I get through life. Wood Bow Tie o’ the Day accompanied me to my pancreas doc this morning, to get the results of my CT scan. I was glad Bow Tie’s wood-ness was there to steady me. My Hanky Panky is slacking more than before, and it needs an operation. Recovery time? 2-3 months. I hate when that happens. 🤷♀️ No worries.
Mom got Bow Tie o’ the Day cackling and snorting with laughter. We were watching LIVE PD, and some dude got pulled over for a DUI. As he tried to complete the sobriety tests, Mom said, “They shouldn’t make him do all those tests! He’s drunk!” And then she said, “Well, I hope no cop ever makes me do those tests.” And then, without skipping a beat, she said, “But I might want to be patted down. It’s been a long time.” She’s still got her spark! 🚨 🚔
Bow Tie o’ the Day watches over Mom. The circle of life is undeniable. A newborn sleeps away its days. Likewise, at the end of a long life, I guess we will do the same. That’s what Mom is doing these days. She sleeps, dozes, and briefly rests her eyes throughout her days and nights. Often, she falls asleep during a tv show, and when she wakes up, I have to tell her how the show ended. I sometimes make up a happy ending, when it wasn’t happy at all. 📺
Mom is a vamp, and always has been. The only thing that could make Mom any sexier is, of course, Bow Ties o’ the Day. She looks mighty voluptuous even without them, and it’s obvious how she got Dad’s attention. On our couch right now, Mom’s “fixing” her own no-gray, 87-year-old hair. When she pulls the hairspray out, I grab Skitter and we haul our butts upstairs. Mom is such a layer-upon-layer sprayer that I’m buying her a holster for the can. She don’t need no gun or pepper spray.💇
Bow Tie o’ the Day is ecstatic that Mom’s back in C-ville with us for a command performance. We weren’t satisfied with just spending last week in St. George with Mom, so I fetched her to come on a Northern Utah tour of her many relatives up in these big-city parts. No matter what, Mom can find some way or another that she’s related to anybody she meets– even if it’s a cousin of a stepsister of a father-in-law of a twin of a niece’s “baby daddy.” 🚗 ⛽
The CT scan-folk let me wear this morning’s bow tie during my scan. We survived, unscathed. This Bow Tie o’ the Day, however, fears anything medical. CT’s are easy, cuz the tube is short. You stick out. MRI’s are another matter. You’re slid into that long tube, and you ain’t gettin’ out. I’m not claustrophobic, but I close my eyes and pretend I’m on a sandy beach, to forget I’m in a tube. Also, with MRI’s, my nose always itches during the entire test. Scratching is impossible, and it’s forbidden anyway. 🏖