Dad Had A Boatload O’ Buzz. Ties? Not Many.

Not-Tie o’ the Day. Father’s Day and Dad’s birthday were this month. I had a difficult time posting about him this year. Dad’s been gone 10 years, and I still miss his bald head. This pic of my beekeeper dad was snapped long before I was born. I’ve titled it, ST. RON OF THE BEES. I don’t remember what I was being punished for as a kid once, but Dad kicked my butt with his work boots. He did it so softly only my pride got hurt.

Get Out The Hairy Vote!

Tie o’ the Day and I are debating about my head hairs. The longer side of my mop falls in my eyes, and I like it this way. I’ve got rubber bands to create a side pigtail if I need one. But I think hair-in-eyes might be annoying while I’m at Huntsman. I could get my usual trim-and-shave before I go hospitaling. However, lately I’m thinking about growing all my hairs out into a longer style. I’m asking for your assistance. VOTE! To cut, or not to cut? 🤔

Tabula Tie-rasa

I’m the one in Bow (Tie) o’ the Day in my kindergarten class photo. It’s sort of a Colonel Sanders-esque bow tie. Again, it’s proof my love for every species of tie was born early. You can’t tell, but I am wearing a dress. Mom made all my dresses, cuz store-bought dresses tended to not have pockets, and I could not abide not having pockets. I was not happy if I couldn’t carry pencils, pens, a small notebook, Chapstick and Lemonheads– the basics of my entire life.

No Worries. The Ties Will Be Okay.

It’s just Bow Tie o’ the Day, Skitter, and me at home for the next week. The Tie Room is full of its residents too, but it’s not the same as having Suzanne with us. I took her to the airport, and now she’s off to Orlando for work. She will get home late Wednesday, only a few hours before my surgery. Bow Tie and I are incredibly sad because we will be freaking out for days about my upcoming operation, all by our lonely selves. 😱 🙀

Her Highness Pontificates On The Porch

Batman Bow Tie o’ the Day reflects my feeling that Mom is a royal superhero, deserving of her own comic book series. She even performs her superhero-ness without a cape or invisible airplane. The Porch at my Delta house was her private social club. It was as if she saved the world, from The Porch. Her glider was her throne at least twice per day, and she let you know what she thought about any topic– politics, religion, or whatever. Kindness was her main Porch topic and philosophy.

Shake’s Beer

Neckwear o’ the Day loves Shakespeare plays, especially A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM. Shauna Corry, Richard Jackson, and I were among DHS students who performed MIDSUMMER scenes, in 1979. I was Puck– a spritely, mischief-making soul. Fred Adams– DHS graduate, and founder of The Utah Shakespeare Festival– loaned us costumes for the production. The Puck costume he brought me was a loincloth. ONLY a loin cloth. We scrounged up wardrobe additions. I would’ve been fine with wearing just the loincloth if I’d been allowed to wear strategically placed neckwear. 😜

Where, Oh, Where Has My Little Sock Gone?

This post’s gotta be about socks, and I PROMISE this is true. While I was laundry-ing, a lightning bolt laundry event occurred. I was casually minding my own business–not committing sorcery or magic– while folding a batch of socks, and this is what I got: SIX– count ’em– SIX mateless socks. On occasion, we all end up with one, possibly two, lonely socks after we’ve retrieved a load from the dryer. But catching six of ’em at once is like performing a backwards miracle. SIX-PACK O’ THE DAY!

A Bovine Tie Is Conceived

Myrt Gardner informed me June is National Dairy Month. She requested a tie post about it. I discovered I don’t own a tie covered in bovine-ness. I sent Suzanne to JOANN’s immediately, to buy some cow fabric. She’s promised to make me a cow tie for next June, so you’re seeing Tie o’ the Day o’ the Future. Here are my cow-print Sloggers, which are really garden shoes, but I wear a pair every day. I even have a chicken-print pair. And yes, I collect Sloggers too. 🐄 🥛 🧀

Or Was I Sleepwalking?

That night when you have insomnia so you put on Ascot o’ the Day and drive to Walmart for no reason because you don’t need a darn thing so you prowl the aisles to find something to amuse you and you begin to feel like you’re just a loitering transient wearing an ascot and then you’re in the infant section and you remember you need to buy a gift for a baby shower and you’re you so of course you decide to give Butt Paste. 👶 Yeah. That night.

Knee-slappin’ Freeway-drivin’ With Mom

Bow Tie o’ the Day traveled south on I-15 with us, chauffeuring Mom. We sashayed along, then we saw two mutts in a truck bed ahead. Their ears flapped. Their fur blew. Suddenly, doggie “afternoon delight” ensued. We hoped Mom didn’t see. And then…Big Helen capped off the scene with perfect wit. She said, “Well, those two dogs just can’t wait until they get home, can they?” Yup, that’s my mother. Even though her mind has begun to delete some things, she can still access her file titled WIT. 🤣