Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Bow Tie o’ the Day is a true butterfly style bow tie. I have only a couple of these. But, of course, I’ll rectify that little hole in my collection. I declared a Pajama Day, in honor of Mom, who gets out of her nightie and duster (her uniform) only to go to Red Lobster. But she doesn’t really do that anymore. Here, she’s sleeping away the morning. She still has the energy to laugh at my constant antics. But she tells her own stories less often. 😢
Bow Ties o’ the Day decorate this book which was crafted just for me, for my birthday. One of Suzanne’s Champagne Garden Club Gals, Jenny Williams, created this dandy piece of coolness for me to fill with drafts of my writing that might one day grow up into real poetry. Most good writing really does begin as bad, clunky, dead-end gibberish. This is a blank book for my nonsensical lines o’ blah, blah, blah. 🤓 Mom’s a blob in the background of this photo. She’s wrangling Skitter. 🤠
Bow Ties o’ the Day are giving a dark, 21-bow tie salute to my 100 ounce, tie-decorated mini keg. It’s headed to the recycling can, and it’s breaking my heart. Also, its demise has got all the neckwear discombobulated. My poor container for Diet Coke has a cracked straw, a cracked lid, and cracked innards. No catastrophe destroyed it. My mini keg– my constant companion, my sippy cup– simply wore out. I hate when that happens. I gotta search for a new tie-d barrel. AND MOM’S HERE!
I wanted to accentuate beauteous Tie o’ the Day by showcasing it against a solid-color shirt. But Tie felt lonely without clash, so I paired it with a camo-esque shirt. The ensuing clash made me feel less a stranger in this world, as well. I don’t match. I don’t care that I don’t match. I don’t mind when other people match. Don’t try to make me match. I was born to be singularly effervescent and vocal. Speaking of those qualities… tomorrow, Mom’s coming for many sleepovers. 😺 😃
Bow Tie o’ the Day gets my truck! In return, Hombre gets spiffied! When Mom quit driving, her car became Gary’s– cuz his decades-old Babe Magnet is on its last tires, almost to the point of unfixable-ness. And Gary MUST drive a hot car. He put a bunch o’ money into doctoring up Mom’s, and it is now born again– on deck to become the next Babe Magnet. I asked my family, and Mom and my siblings agreed it was natural that I’d inherit Mom’s license plates. 😃
I had a massive grocery list, so this Tie o’ the Day shopped with me– in case my debit card couldn’t cover the purchase total. A shopper asked if I would share Tie’s bucks. Cufflinks o’ the Day depict a 5-speed gear shift. Hombre’s a manual, and shifting makes me feel hot-rod-y. Hombre struggles on wet, wintry roads, even with tube sand in the back. I’m ecstatic that this mild winter allows me to drive it more often. I hope the weather stays un-wintry. Knock on clouds. ✊ 🚘 🚚 🌤
Diamond-point Bow Tie o’ the Day persuaded me to show my troll hair. All that blood rushing to my head made me light-headed. To recover, I had to sit on my butt and watch the I.D. channel for 3 straight hours. Nobody has to twist my arm to watch I.D.. I’m mesmerized by that crime-y channel and its “monotonous murder,” which is what we call it. I have bigly fits when I watch an entire show that ends with no solution to the crime. Waste o’ my time! Grrrrrrrr!!! 😠 😡
Tie o’ the Day and I happily killed a bunch of time (see the clockworks on Cufflinks o’ the Day) at the bookstore and two other stores, while Suzanne touched every item sold at MICHAEL’S. That is only slightly an exaggeration. Craft/fabric stores take Suzanne hostage when she walks in. Such stores are like amusement parks to her. She emerges from them after hours of play, in one of two ways. Either she bought one trinket for a buck, or she bought an entire aisle of yarn. 🛍 🛒 🏬
I’m feeling rich, so Bow Tie o’ the Day sports a bling-y second bow tie and corner points. When I say I’m rich, I don’t mean in the wallet way. I mean “rich” in the blessings way. A cozy house with big windows, an old jalopy of a truck, and my fancy ties. Among other things. And I have my Suzanne. I can’t begin to express how rich she makes my life– even though she says this hat makes my head look like it’s wearing a condom. 🙄
Choosing the correct Tie o’ the Day is always of utmost importance, but today it’s a bigly-er deal than usual. And not just cuz it’s St. Paddy’s Day. This afternoon, I have an appointment with Dr. Bipolar. She’s a skillful doc, and she enjoys my tie thing. But I wonder if she tries to read into what my tie choices might mean about my pendulum head. So, when picking out an appointment tie, I always think things like: “Does this tie make my mania look big?” 😬