Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Bow Ties/Ties, and Cufflinks o’ the Day fill this fat package. Trust me. I heard a knock at the door, and FedEx gives me this odd package, which I must sign for. The package is an unusual shape. It’s a foot long, and it’s wrapped in an entire roll of packing tape. I’ve watched enough drug-crime shows to know this resembles a kilo of illicit drugs. Was I being set-up to be arrested? I mentioned it to the delivery chick, who looked at me suspiciously. Doh! 📦
Skitter got jealous of Bow Tie o’ the Day, and had to photo-bomb us. Bow Tie and I don’t mind. The ties worship Skitter, and I don’t mind dog kisses– as long as I can wash my face immediately after I get one. We’re so proud of Skitter when she dares to do ANYTHING. As an abused and abandoned dog, she is reticent to be noticed. She still rarely makes eye contact. It’s a bigly triumph for her to even sit beside us. 🐶 💋 And… Cufflinks o’ Peanuts!!!!!
Ascot o’ the Day is just the ticket. Drum set Cufflinks o’ the Day are helping me create some vibrations throughout the house for Suzanne. Suzanne is a medical oddity, and when her lithotripsied kidney stone shattered, stones moved up her kidney instead of down to be peed out. Her kidney stone doc told her that in order to get her stones moving, she’s gotta jump up and down and dance, and I’ve gotta pummel the side of her back. The solution is in the vibrations. 🥊
Cufflinks o’ the Day are golf carts with blue golf bags. Golfing is not a past-time I engage in, but I can still appreciate that these cufflinks are zippy. 🏌️♀️ Tie o’ the Day clashes dandily. I wish I could see a sky the color of Tie’s blue hues. 🏞 With Mom living in St. George, I now have an excuse to travel there whenever I want. And in Dixie, I’ll have a better chance of encountering sun and blue skies. 🚙 ☀ But I won’t golf. I’m a hazardous golfer. 🙀
Pink feather Bow Tie o’ the Day caused a small stir in Suzanne’s kidney stone doctor’s office. Even the doctor marveled at its fantastabulous-ness. And although the doc’s smart and cordial, he strikes me as a humorless fuddy-duddy. But bow ties make even the most stoic people smile. I’m extremely careful not to spill Diet Coke (or anything else) on Bow Tie’s feathers. I’m not a food/drink spiller often, but when I spill, it’s always on something expensive and un-cleanable. 🙀 Cufflinks o’ the Day are 80’s boomboxes. 📻
Cufflinks o’ the Day are the stars of this post. They are working rulers. When I wear them, I can’t help playing with them– opening and closing them constantly. They are my version of fidget spinners. I’m wearing them cuz we’re headed to Suzanne’s kidney stone doc, to measure if her recent lithotripsy sufficiently shattered her 3.2 cm stone. Yes, she’s been peeing rocks and sand, but we’re not sure if they all add up to 3.2 cm of ouch. My Hanky Panky is crossed for positive news. 🤞
Wood Bow Tie o’ the Day is attempting to make me smile, as are harlequin-patterned ‘Links o’ the Day. Although I am harlequin-esque and clownish, I’m a sad jester this morning. Mom is off to Ogden, to spend a few days with my sister, Betty. I often call Betty “Mercedes.” She’s never liked her name, and she mentioned liking the name “Mercedes.” We kids are listed on Mom and Dad’s headstone. I taped the name MERCEDES over BETTY once when she visited the grave. Mom loved it.
Tie O’ The Day brings you my grandparents, Popo and Momo, in their Millard Academy (Hinckley) high school pictures, from the mid-1920’s. I’ve always thought of these pics as “the Bonnie and Clyde photos,” since they were snapped near that same time period, and the fashion was similar. Momo and Popo were not gangsters. They were beekeepers and farmers. Popo had a pilot’s license. Every Saturday, I watched HEE HAW and THE LAWRENCE WELK SHOW with them, and Popo made stove-top popcorn. What a gangsta childhood! 👔 👛
Tie o’ the Day is worn by Dad’s father, Walter Wright. Most of us grandkids called him Popo. Popo was gallant and chivalrous. He lived to love my grandma, Momo. They made a habit of sitting on their couch, holding hands. They sat on their porch every evening. They worked in their garden almost full-time, and it showed. Momo and Popo are going to kick my butt when I die, cuz when I bought their house, there was no way I alone could keep their garden beautiful.
I was answering email, and Tie o’ the Day whispered, “Pssst! Check out O.G. Big Helen!” Mom was stylin’ in her sunglasses, for no apparent reason. She just wanted to wear them. And when she napped an hour later, she still wore them. She snored mightily in her shades. Mom simply knows how to class up wherever she finds herself roaming. I don’t try to figure out where her mind takes her these days. I just try to go along, keep her safe, and enjoy the ride.