Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
A couple of Bow Ties o’ the Day bring you the flip side of my fave t-shirt. Just in case you want to learn to tie bow ties, my t-shirt is here to show you– step by step. I am ashamed to say that I can’t tie bow ties. I’ve tried, but I don’t try anymore. A few years ago, while moving my EpiPen, I inadvertently stuck the palm of my right hand. My hand ballooned right up, and it has little dexterity now. That’s my excuse. 🖐
Tie o’ the Day provides dandy clash. Cufflinks o’ the Day are going old school alarm clocks. I had to rise early to get to my crazy-head doc’s office, to get a Functional Ability Evaluation signed for the Driver License Division. It tells them I’m not too bipolar to drive safely. Actually, I got it signed weeks ago, but the Driver License folks wouldn’t accept the form cuz my doc put a cross in a box where a check mark had to be. Waste o’ my time.
Flash drive Cufflinks o’ the Day remind us to back-up our computer documents regularly. I tried a new move on the desktop yesterday, and I lost some writing. Ugh! Suzanne can maybe fix it: she’s got skills. When I screw up something, I inform Suzanne– in a sheepish, hesitant voice– “I did a thing.” Whenever I say it, I briefly see a petrified look cross her face, which I’m pretty sure means she’s wondering if I’m gonna say, “I slipped up and had a drink.” Nope. 🥛
This is proof of how I keep the hairs on half my noggin out of my eyes. Time for a trim. Bow Tie o’ the Day shows up on my new fave t-shirt. The bow tie makers at Vermont-based Beau Ties called me last week to verify my recent order was correct. I had ordered a slim-line style bow, and I usually order butterfly-style. I was pleased they paid attention to little ol’ me and my purchasing patterns. I’m not famous, but I kinda am to them.
Bow Tie o’ the Day is a new addition to my collection. Its title is BARCELONA. I’m wearing Tie Clip o’ the Day on my shirt because tie clips don’t go on bow ties. But there’s a theme here: Tie Clip came to me, from Suzanne, all the way from Barcelona. In 1986, Suzanne studied in Spain, where she saw this elegant tie clip. I have no doubt she said in her head, “This has Helen written all the heck over it.” She was right. As always. 😲 🎁
Bow Tie o’ the Day is the only thing keeping me from having a titanic tantrum in front of Skitter. If I threw one, Skitter would shake for time and all eternity. But I feel like I’m caged in a zoo, because I can’t leave the house. I’m doing housework, but mostly, I’m waiting for delivery of our HAMILTON tickets, which I’m required to sign for. I checked the tracking number, and it says they’ll be here sometime before 8PM. Gee, thanks for the bigly specific time! ✒ ✉ 🎟 🎤
Bow Tie o’ the Day is upcycled from a bike inner tube, complete with air stem and puncture patch. Once, when I was a kid, my bell bottom pant leg got stuck in my bike chain. I couldn’t yank it out. I pondered about what to do. I decided to hustle home in my underwear. I guess a few townsfolk saw me running, and by the time I got home, two people had already called Mom to ask why I was running through town near-nekkid. 🚴♀️ 👖 #smalltownlife
It seems like Mom travels more now than when she still had her car keys and drove– very slowly– through the Delta universe. Bow Tie o’ the Day and Mom and I dressed up in springy, Eastery colors for an excursion to Fillmore, where I handed off Mom to Ron. Off they drove to their home in St. George. Big Helen fills any room she’s in, with stories and snort-laughter. Our house is emptier and quieter when she’s not visiting us. Our loss is Ron’s and Marie’s gain. ❤ 🐣
So what was in that illicit-drug-looking package I received? A kilo of Bow Ties/Ties o’ the Day and Cufflinks o’ the Day. 12 bow ties, 3 ties, and one set of cufflinks, to be precise. I made a good haul, eh? I can’t believe it all fit in there. Mom watched me be a happy camper as I opened it up. Opening it required a Swiss Army knife. When I looked at the package again, I decided it kinda resembled an Easter egg. Alas! No treats inside. Dang! 🍫 🥚
Mom’s back from Mercedes’ to hang with us again. I think I’ve figured out why Mom wears her sunglasses in my house, even when she naps. I believe it’s cuz yellow Bow Tie o’ the Day sports blinding, blingy sequins. Mom says she likes Bow Tie though, so I’ll keep it on. Mom mostly lounges through her days now. She doesn’t read books, or put together puzzles. I asked her if she gets bored. She said she can’t get bored because she has so many memories to remember.