Category: Skitter

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Speaking Of This Morning’s Gingerbread Cookie Post…

Check out my new t-shirt. In case you haven’t already guessed, the cookie’s own Bow Tie o’ the Day was the ultimate selling point. (No, I won’t be counting it in my Holiday Tie Tally though.) I’m being matchy with my own gingerbread man Bow Tie o’ the Day.

Although Mom’s excellent goodies were wide-ranging, I don’t recall Mom ever making gingerbread cookies when I was a kid. I don’t recall ever in my life making a gingerbread house of any kind. And I must admit that on the few occasions when I have sampled gingerbread cookies made by other people, I have not found them to be yummy. Smell tasty? Yes. Look cute? Sometimes. Scrumptious? Never. When I was in my late teens, Mom did start to make a triumphant, chewy gingersnap cookie rolled in sugar. Her gingersnaps did not taste anything like what I have known as gingerbread, thank the heavens.

When I was in Graduate School at the University of Utah in the late-80’s, a box full of Mom’s homemade cookies would occasionally show up in my mailbox. Mom always sent far more cookies than I could safely consume on my own, so I often took them to share with my classes. Once, I took a box of Mom’s homemade gingersnaps to a poetry workshop to share with my colleagues and my professor. After the initial ravenous chewing had calmed down in the classroom, one colleague said to me, “Your mother must really love you.” And another swiftly chimed in, “I wish my mother loved me as much as your mom loves you.” It was meant to be funny, I know, and it was. But I had also already begun to recognize that not all parents actively do things to demonstrate their love for their kids as freely as mine always did. I knew my parents thought of me, always—even when I lived 2,000 miles away from their house in Delta, Utah.

I was born into a tribe of huggers and kissers. And in our family, the three magic words of “I love you” were (and still are) spoken regularly among my parents and siblings, as easily as breathing. As I grew up and ventured hither and yon into the bigly world, I very quickly realized what a rare blessing that kind of familial affection and stability truly is. For being born into this solid gift, I give my thanks.

#givethanks #loveyourneighbor #yourfamilywasandisyourfirstneighbor #imisshuggingmymom #ithasbeeneightmonthssinceihavebeenabletokissmymotherandimnothappyaboutit #wearthedangmask

HolidayTie Tally: 73 Neckties. 15 Bow Ties.

Skitter’s Holiday Tie Tally: 7 Neckties.

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To Scrooges Everywhere

Holiday Face Mask o’ the Day brings the season’s first Ho’s to the party. And my gingerbread cookie-themed Ties o’ the Day help me in my reply to those who think I’m getting into the Christmas spirit waaaay too early. All I can say is that I am following my arrow. It’s what I do. If you are troubled by my festive cheer, I humbly say, “Bite Me!”

Holiday Tie Tally: 73 Neckties. 14 Bow Ties.

Holiday Face Mask Tally: 5

Skitter’s Holiday Tie Tally: 6 Neckties.

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Penguins Are Always Dressed For Formal Events

After I graduated from Weber State in 1984, I moved to Salt Lake City, and I bought myself a white tuxedo jacket for $5 from Deseret Industries in Sugarhouse. The tux jacket went with me when I moved to Virginia, but I have no idea where it finally ended up. I no longer own a tux jacket, but I do have this near-tux, midnight blue formal jacket. I felt it was only right to wear it in this photo, while wearing the dapper penguin Ties/Bow Tie o’ the Day. How nifty would it be, if—like the penguins—our human “birthday suits” looked like tuxes? It would certainly make my constant bow tie habit make more sense to us all. Those penguins are lucky in the fashion department, I tell ya. They’re dressed to party—at the drop of a top-hat. Ooooh, I should get a top-hat next. Ooooh, and maybe some tap shoes.

Holiday Tie Tally: 70 Neckties. 14 Bow Ties.

Skitter’s Holiday Tie Tally: 3 Neckties.

A close-up of my Bow Tie o’ the Day. Check out the penguins wearing antlers.
Skitter looks fetching in her polar bears Tie o’ the Day.
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And Now We’ll Hear From The “Peanuts” Gallery

Skitter was too tuckered out to fully participate in the takin’ o’ the post photos today, but that didn’t stop me from prodding her to open at least one eye for a quick pic. She ought to know by now that if she’s going to wear a tie in my vicinity, her picture is gonna be taken. It’s one of those facts o’ life you just have to accept in this family. You learn to roll with it.

These Ties/Bow Ties o’ the Day are my reminder that I must gather all of my pathetic Charlie Brown Christmas trees together for a thorough group dusting. It’s almost time to dot the house with the trees in their various sizes and ornament themes. It’s easy-peasy to maintain one theme per tree when you are allowed only one ornament per tree. To be an authentic Chuck Brown tree, everybody knows it can have only one ornament weighing down only one of its branches. 🌲

Holiday Tie Tally, thus far: 47 Neckties. 9 Bow ties. 1 tired Tie o’ the Day for Skitter.

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It’s Cape Weather!

I got my Suzanne-sewn wintry cape out of the closet this morning. It will be my go-to cape through the Thanksgiving/Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa Season. At night, under the lights of the city, it sparkles and shimmers like a fabric gem—no matter which of its sides is showing. The snowy cape is a charming background to this morning’s seven seasonal Ties o’ the Day, with one Bow Tie o’ the Day on top. And thus, in my wintry cape and neckwear, I shall now harness Skitter for our walk to the mailboxes. What would our neighbors do without our daily spectacle?

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It’s Like Wearing A Vest Made O’ Ties

Bow Tie o’ the Day has some fancy gold shimmer going on, as does the holly Tie o’ the Day. Other than that, we have some snowmen, some Santa’s, and some festively dressed Scottie dogs adorning our Ties o’ the Day. Lastly, our centerpiece Tie o’ the Day is a rendition of what might be happening this very second up at the North Pole: reindeer auditions. The tie’s falling, failing reindeer looks like it could be our very own Skitter. However, I know for a fact Skitter’s not out of town, trying out for anything. Why? She just received a bigly package of X-mas ties for herself to wear during the upcoming holidays, and she has an unusually close relationship with her ties—much like I do. We don’t just up and leave our neckwear to fend for itself on a seasonal whim. I have the heavily populated Tie Room to oversee, and Skitter has the Tie Crate to care for. Yes, one of her crates is dedicated to her ties and bow ties. I’m so proud of her. She’s a chip off the old neckwear knot.

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No, She’s Not Mrs. Claus

TIE O’ THE DAY sends a bigly Merry Birthday greeting to Suzanne’s mom, Geraldine. She turned 80 a few days ago. As my family did with Mom’s 90th birthday in September, Suzanne’s family kept it safe: no party. Instead, we all secretly grooved-up our cars and created a surprise birthday parade for the Mrs. Claus look-alike, right in front of her house. Our decorated cars circled the block twice, horns honking, probably annoying the neighborhood with our celebratory exuberance. After our second lap, we halted our parade in front of the house, got out of our cars, and sang “Happy Birthday” to Geri. To be honest, I only whisper-sang. I love Geri far too much to belt out a song at her with my questionable voice, even as part of a chorus—especially on her 80th birthday.

I’ve been trying to remember my first interaction with Suzanne’s mom, and my brain can trace it to 1985, when I couldn’t afford a haircut. Suzanne offered up her mom’s services, and Geri cut my head hairs as I sat on a chair behind their former house.

Mom has always said that she was blessed to have two wonderful mothers in her life: her own, and her mother-in-law. I knew what she meant, but I didn’t fully understand it in my heart until I got Geri.

BTW Please note that Skitter wore her tie for the parade. Look closely, and you’ll see her and her Tie o’ the Day in the car.

FYI A hug-less birthday sucks for everybody.

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It Just Happens Sometimes

Skitter and I click. From the first time we met at the dog rescue in December of 2013, Skitter and I felt a kinship with each other’s peculiarities. I think we must have recognized each other’s raggedy edges. Her previous mistreatment and my constant bipolar rapids somehow recognized each other, and we formed a connection that has functioned to the betterment of both of us. Suzanne and Rowan recognized it happen that day too. That’s a sweet and sappy story, but it’s also true. Today, however, actual mind-reading was involved going on between The Skit and I.

While I was filling up the recycling can, I got a song stuck in my head. I could not shut it off. And it was completely out of nowhere. Worse, it was a smarmy tune from the 70’s! It was Debby Boone’s “You Light Up My Life.” I haven’t heard or thought of the song in decades. I stood staring into the recycling can, trying to figure out what was in there that could have possibly set off that song in my mind. There was nothing I could see. I left the garage and went upstairs to wash a load of face masks for the week, and that song kept playing in my head. I turned on other music to drown it out, but no—my life was still getting lit up by Debby Boone’s voice between my ears, over and over. Aaaaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh! It was becoming painful to my brain. I thought: How can the repetition of such a syrupy sweet song cause an amount of irritation which makes me want to wretch and say swear words at the same time?

I went downstairs and poured myself a stiff drink of watermelon-flavored sparkling water, then sat down by Skitter, who had been nowhere around me and my house chores. Skitter—as you can see here—had clearly used her telepathic powers to hear the song that was stuck in my head, and she had tried to rescue me by wrapping herself in the candy corn Halloween lights to send me a message: I light up her life. It, of course, caused me to laugh so hard I forgot all about the stoopid Debby Boone song. Skitter and I have been singing new Bruce Springsteen songs together ever since the dastardly Debby Boone tune flew the proverbial coop of my noggin.

BTW I’m not sure if that was a tall tale or a tall “tail.” I guess it depends on whether I wrote it or Skitter did.