Category: Skitter

So, yeah, as I wrote about last week, I came up with the word “skitturbing” the other day, to accurately describe how it feels when Skitter engages in some of her disturbing eccentricities. I offereded up the example of when she decides to perch like a gargoyle somewhere across the room and she just stares at me for an hour or so. It can only be described as kind of “skitturbing” when she does that. But she does other odd things that need to be described a bit differently. For these less creepy behaviors, I created a combination of “Skitter” and “absurdity,” and came up with the word “skittsurdity.” Skitter commits many “skittsurdities.” The example I and my Bow Tie o’ the Day will regale you with this afternoon has to do with Skitter’s canned food. After Skitter has gone outside to empty her doggie bladder first thing each morning, she jumps up in her bed beside me on the loveseat for her first nap of the morning. I write, I putter, I make calls, I plan for the day. Skitter wakes from her first morning nap around 9, and then she immediately prances over to her food and water bowls to make her official inspection. She samples the water and oh-so carefully surveys her food bowl. It holds some dry dog food, like it always does. It does not contain any of Skitter’s allotted wet food—a serving of which I place on top of her dry food each day at Skitter’s request. What makes the story of Skitter and her wet food result in it becoming a bona fide “skittsurdity” is the fact that although Skitter doesn’t like to eat her wet food until the evening, she will not settle down until she sees her gooey wet food is placed in her bowl in the morning. So she checks her food bowl after her first nap, then paces back and forth in front of me in a highly agitated state, whereupon she returns to her food bowl—again, watching me to be positive I’m watching her—to make sure I understand she is alerting me to the fact that there is no sign of wet food in her food bowl yet. That’s my cue to spoon the correct amount of her wet food into her food bowl—not because she’s hungry and wants to eat it immediately or even soon, but so she can observe it sitting atop the dry food in her food bowl for the entire day. She needs to see it there, just in case she decides she wants it earlier than her normal suppertime when she actually devours it. If the blob of wet food is there, Skitter relaxes and continues her day. Yup, the wet dog food simply sits there silently, for hours before she wants it, like the cherry atop the dry food—so Skitter can check on it at various times during the day. The gushy wet food sits for hours to naturally harden and crustify and stink and change colors before Skitter happily consumes it a couple of hours before she retires to bed. That, my friends, is just one “skittsurdity” in a long list of Skitter’s behavioral “skittsurdities.” I am always glad to find the right word for things—even if it means I have to make them up myself. 🤓

My melty Bow Tie o’ the Day is my witness. Skitter does this thing sometimes, which still weirds me out after the almost nine years since she rescued us: Skitter perches herself somewhere and stares at me for extended periods of time. I don’t have to be doing any particular activity to get her attention. She will simply and suddenly decide to motionlessly watch me for as long as an hour. It’s a rather cool trick on her part, albeit a tad creepy. She’s never threatening when she does this, and she doesn’t move or make a sound. But it does appear to me she is under something like a spell. It’s as if she’s my own private gargoyle. I suppose I have my moments when I can be downright mesmerizing to whoever is in my vicinity, but whatever doggie thing Skitter is feeling when she gets the need to stare at me, I am sure my human brain will never know for sure.

Today, however, I am proud to announce I have created a word that I think properly describes how Skitter’s gargoyle-esque gazing strikes me. It is a combo of Skitter’s name and the word “disturbing.” When Skitter stares at me without making a sound or moving a muscle for an hour, it is “skitturbing” to me. In fact, much of Skitter’s normally eccentric behavior can be accurately described as skitturbing. If, despite all my decades of writing, I have contributed nothing more to the betterment of the English language, I feel certain I have at least made my singular lasting mark by conjuring up the remarkable word, SKITTURBING. I have not lived in vain! 🤓 🤡 🐶 🗿

Today is Skitter’s dental appointment at the vet’s. I took these photos as we waited in the vet’s parking lot for a vet tech to come fetch Skitter. Notice how Skitter won’t make eye-contact with me cuz she’s petrified and feeling like I betrayed her by dragging her to this hellish place for the second time in less than a month. I tell her it’s for her own good, but she’s not buying it. It breaks my heart to leave her there all by her lonesome self, but it will be so nice to no longer have to smell the stinky plaque on her wee choppers when I pick her up and she gives me a kiss.

FYI I have included a photo of my latest long-winded t-shirt, in case you’re interested to read it.