Category: Hats

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I’m A Jolly Slacker This Year

This photo is more documentation of a somewhat rare happening: my neck is not be-decked with any neck-cessories. I figured the bow tied deer on my Face Mask o’ the Day and the bow tie on my t-shirt’s gingerbread dude sufficiently combine into a slew of Bow Ties o’ the Day, in order to make up for my own neck’s nakedness.

I’ve been bad, folks. I’ve been shirking my TIE O’ THE DAY holiday duties this December. First, I didn’t even attempt my annual task of wearing all the holiday neckwear I can possibly fit into the month. And then, I have gone whole days without posting any neckwear at all—whether Christmas or otherwise. I dunno what’s up with me, but I’m not in the Christmas groove. Excuse my French, but I’m just half-assing it this year. I don’t think it has anything to do with my bipolar pendulum. Nor does it seem to have anything to do with my on-going recovery from my pancreas surgery in October. (My Hanky Panky is healing up right on schedule, although my stamina still doesn’t have much stamina to it.) I’m not reeking of bigly bah humbug. There’s nothing overly tragic going on in my life. Still, I just seem to have gradually opted out of the holiday hustling and bustling for some reason. Indeed, I’m quite passionless about the 2021 holiday season. The reason for this is a complete mystery to me. And I’ve decided it’s a mystery I’m not going to worry about right now—except that I feel guilty about possibly letting down my TIE O’ THE DAY readers who tune in here regularly to see the eccentric array of festive Christmas neckwear I so freely and obnoxiously offer up for y’all’s viewing pleasure. Forgive my current slacking, but I think I’m going to roll with this laggard vibe a little longer. In fact, I’m rather enjoying being a temporary slug and accomplishing very little of consequence—for a brief time anyway. That sounds sort of like a vacation, eh? Maybe that’s all I needed.

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Shoppin’ For Christmas Gifties

In my humble estimation, this jumbo holiday Bow Tie o’ the Day is stark and quietly gorgeous. It evokes the chill and darkness of December nights, leading up to Christmas. It reminds me of bringing in shopping bags from the car, under the dark evening sky. In those jolly bags was the resulting haul of newly purchased gifts, after a busy day of seeking out the exactly right present for each name on my personal naughty-or-nice list.

While out shopping for a few X-mas gifts on Saturday evening, I managed to find myself staring up longingly at a certain scented candle. The candle scent? Maple glazed donut! I thought seriously about stealing a package of matches from another aisle, and lighting up that candle right there in the store—for my own personal smelling pleasure. But my brain kicked in and promptly overruled the desires of my olfactory sense. I decided I didn’t really like the idea of being arrested for shoplifting a match and creating a public nuisance by arson—just so I could smell the mouth-watering aroma of artificial maple-glazed donuts. I did seriously contemplate it for a flash of a second, though. Alas! I am a failed criminal, yet again. In the end, I did the right thing. I settled for breathing-in the existing odor of the Target store in which I stood. Sometimes I dislike following the straight-and-narrow. 🔥🤡

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An Ugly T-shirt O’ The Season

This Bow Tie o’ the Day is pre-printed right onto my pre-printed ugly sweater t-shirt. Suzanne recently crocheted my new red beanie. And my Red-nosed Rudolph Face Mask o’ the Day is one of my very fave masks in our Christmas collection. 😷🎄

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My First 2021 X-mas Holiday Outfit

I kept it simple: a Santa Tie o’ the Day. This clothing configuration was a bigly hit at Dick’s Market this morning. There were a handful of kids throughout the store with their parents while I was there, and most of them jollied right up when I passed by. Only one kid broke out in actual tears (loud, wailing tears) when he saw me. His mother—equally not-festive at the sight of me—gave me the how-dare-you-dress-like-that-in-front-of-children look. Did I care that I got “the look”? Heck Tate no, I didn’t care. I gotta be me. Besides, everyone else in the store seemed as happy as flying reindeer to see me in my seasonal garb. 🦌 🎄

⚠️WARNING! Remember the reindeer Christmas thong a reader sent me a couple of years ago? Well, I’ll be wearing that in the next post. Once seen, it cannot be unseen—so if you think your heart and/or eyes can’t handle it, please rapidly scroll past the next TIE O’ THE DAY when it shows up on your screen. If you think there’s even a slight chance you might be askeered by it, look ye not directly at the image! You have been warned, y’all! ⚠️

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My Huntsman Adventure: Day 1

In the waiting area, before getting garbed up for surgery.
My surgical attire.
My beehive hairdo.

The day began with my typical antics in the surgery waiting area of Huntsman Cancer Hospital. Suzanne wore the spiderweb face mask, while I donned the toughest University of Utah red Face Mask o’ the Day I could find. Bow Tie o’ the Bigly Surgery Day was one of my wood, magnetically attached t-shirt bow ties—with Day o’ the Dead skulls, in this case. I felt ready for what was ahead. After I got changed into my surgery duds, I had fun sculpting designs with my “hair net.” Here, you see my versions of a beret and a beehive hairdo. Alas! The fun would not last long that day.

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Now That Was A Long Cliffhanger

TIE O’ THE DAY is back. I’m back. I certainly missed y’all, and in my next few posts, I will get you caught up on my Huntsman Cancer Hospital stay and my Cranky Hanky Panky adventures. For now, suffice it to say that my surgery went well and my recovery is coming along as planned. I am moving around gingerly, but efficiently. Most importantly, I am not dead. That’s always a good thing.

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Mom Rules The World

I finally got to give Mom her birthday hugs, a few days after her actual birthaversary. Mom loves sunflowers, and I was able to find a snazzy Shirt Full o’ Sunflowers to wear for her. It only made sense for me to wear my bees Face Mask o’ the Day with it. In honor of Mom’s fun belief that she is a witch with always-sharpened broom, I donned my flying witches Tie o’ the Day. Mom also liked my pig earrings and my chicken Sloggers shoes, which I chose just for her. She’s such a farm girl.

I managed to find a soft batch of marshmallow Circus Peanuts, which is one of Mom’s fave store-bought treats. We opted to stick a birthday candle in one, so we could sing to Mom. She blew it out like a pro, despite her oxygen difficulties. Of course, she’s had 91 years of practice at blowing out birthday candles.

Mom was more “with it” and energetic than she has been recently. Even Skitter noticed it. Suzanne and I had a wonderful few hours of conversation with the old dame. I was so pleased with Mom’s improvement, and I give credit to the fine cast o’ folks at Millard Care and Rehab. They look out for Mom like she’s family, and it shows.

I often say that Mom was my first blessing, and it is still true. My gratitude for having Mom runneth over—still and always.

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The Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades

This is one of my fave wood Bow Ties o’ the Day. I tend to wear it when I’m on vacation. It helps me see the sights better. I have missed wearing it since the pandemic began, which is when we quit vacationing, of course. Today, I decided to dust Bow Tie off and make some plans. I’m looking into some far away escapades I’m sure I’ll tell y’all about in the near future.

Last evening, we had one HAIL of a late-summer thunderstorm! It was wet, and loud, and flashy, and the petrichor smell was as wonderful as it has ever been. The hail was itself a plunking wonder on the outdoor furniture. We paid a lot of attention to the stormy shebang because Skitter was not just skittish about the storm: Skitter was petrified into a ball in her bed. I covered her with her blanket and explained to her that any doggie blanket made by Suzanne is impenetrable by both bad weather and monsters, so she would be completely safe under it. I think her brain believed me, but her thunder-hearing, hail-hearing ears were skeptical. The storm didn’t cause any real damage, but it managed to cause our DirecTV to lose its signal even before the first raindrop fell. I am always mystified that the tv signal can travel all the way to and from satellites in space with no problem, but it can’t make it through raindrops and snowflakes. 📺⛈☔️

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Cuz 3 New Ties O’ The Day Are Better Than 1

My long-awaited surgery was supposed to be this morning, but—as I’ve explained over the last two days—there is currently no room at the Huntsman Inn for me and my Cranky Hanky Panky. I’m now scheduled to be cut open October 14. I hope they’ll have a hospital room for me by then. This drawn-out process has gotten to me, bigly. I told Suzanne to hide the X-Acto knife, because I’m about tempted to resort to self-help. I might just have to dig out that pancreatic stone on my own. I hate to whine, but the stoopid stone is painful.

So, what did I do with my no-surgery day? I went shopping for neckwear, of course, and I discovered something I had heretofore not known. I told you in a post a few weeks ago about how I found Halloween candy on the grocery store shelves at 12:01 AM on July 5th. Well, today I discovered that Christmas neckties are already in some stores in September. What a fantabulous thing to find out! For me, at least. Yes, I found 3 Christmas neckties to add to my enormous holiday collection. I’m guesstimating these 3 ties are getting me close to a total of 300 Christmas ties. I am not even going to try to wear all of them this upcoming season, so if you don’t see your favorites during the build-up to Christmas 2021, you’ll just have to stay tuned to TIE O’ THE DAY next year, and the next, and so on. I promise it will be worth your while.

BTW In this photo, I am dressed almost entirely in blue-and-white stripes: see my shorts, my shirt, and my hat. (I think I’m missing Dad and his striped overalls.) I chose super-long, neon green-striped socks and some animal print Sloggers for variation. You’ll also notice that it’s clear I didn’t learn to “strike a pose” in a traditional modeling school.

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Dressing For Delta

It’s time for a trip to Delta to visit Mom. I’m not sure exactly when I’m going to make the drive, but it will be soon. I like to plan my travel attire ahead of time, and today I came up with this outfit that seems appropriate to the current Delta weather. Fortunately, I have an umbrella-covered Face Mask o’ the Day and a raindrop and umbrella-covered Tie o’ the Day. My cow Sloggers boots should come in handy for wading through puddles and newly formed lakes, and my bigly floppy hat will keep the rain off my bald head. Yes, I think this will suit me well on my next trip to my hometown.