Category: Hats

Posted on

Peek-a-boo! There It Is!

Wood Bow Tie o’ the Day and parrot Face Mask o’ the Day were grocery shopping with me at DICK’S when I realized I’m not the only one who is back in the public eye. Yup, the toilet paper is back on the shelves and in mountainous stacks throughout the store.

COVID-19 has made it such that we have all had to make a few changes in our routines, like donning masks and doing our best at social distancing. During these days o’ the pandemic, I am most proud of something I HAVEN’T had to do. During the upheaval of the last three or four months, I haven’t had one toilet paper supply worry. In our house, there has been no need for toilet paper panic or toilet paper hoarding. (Well, at first, Suzanne occasionally panicked about the size of our tp stash, but it was totally unnecessary. I had it covered, with rolls to spare.)

As the li’l homemaker-during-the-pandemic that I am, I am proud to say we have never run out of the ample supply of toilet paper I always keep stocked in our garage. To be honest, I guess you could say that keeping us supplied with the correct amount of toilet paper is about the only real homemaking skill I have. I certainly can’t cook. Overseeing the household tp supply is my one skill, so I have to pat myself on the back about my stellar permanent record on that front. A lot of people were caught with their pandemic pants down about the toilet paper, if ya know what I mean. Not I.

I wonder. Is my single, house-y skill of being Toilet Paper Monitor Extraordinaire alone mighty enough to justify my entire existence on the face of the earth? Why, yes! Yes, it is. Those of you who have ever had to scramble for a square or six of “bathroom tissue” know I’m right. In fact, I’ve probably always been worth my weight in toilet paper.

FYI I have been a zillion places. I have met a zillion people. But I have NEVER heard anyone actually refer to toilet paper as “bathroom tissue,” despite what the labels on the packaging say. Talk about hoity-toity!

Posted on

Skitter Is Askeered, Yet Again

I thought I was lookin’ pretty hip in my geometric-pattern Face Mask o’ the Day and my wood Bow Tie o’ the Day. But after I examined the selfies I took, I realized no one can see the bow tie cuz it’s camo-patterned. On top of that, my total look apparently scared Skitter into a brow scowl rivaling my own when I’m not happy. She looks like she’s ready to jump ship and hie to Kolob in the twinkling of an eye. (Excuse the Mormon hymn reference)

Skitter is as patient with me and my clothing whims as Suzanne is, but Suzanne never gets scared of how I look—because her brain is bigly-er than a walnut and she understands I’m just weird. But I promise—here and now—that from now on, when I get dressed for the day, I will try harder to be more sensitive to Skitter’s easily-afeared canine feelings.

Posted on

Redneck Is, As Redneck Does

Rosy Bow Tie o’ the Day is a velvety wonder. Trust me—velvet works with redneck style. Think: Bright paintings of Elvis on black velvet. Personally, I’ve never owned a black velvet painting of any kind. However, I did once own a sculpted portrait of The Three Wise Men, constructed out of macaroni glued to an empty cardboard fabric bolt, then completely spray-painted gold. (My grandma, Zola, created it.)

Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to be a redneck. I am a highly educated redneck, it’s true. But I have never allowed my advanced education to lessen my redneck IQ. I have proudly had an old couch on my front porch at times—to provide plenty of cushioned room for any stray guests who might redneckly drop by without invitation or warning. (Yes, on the infamous Delta porch.) I have also had an old mattress on my front porch, reserved for my passel of mutts and any cats, goats, toads, or wandering fowl in the neighborhood. And as a redneck bonus, I can fix anything mechanical with duct tape and/or baling wire. My redneck dad taught me well.

Posted on

One Good Swimming Suit Deserves Another

Tie o’ the Day knows this is my second favorite swimming suit. Despite being a forever red-and-white Delta Rabbit, I prefer the look of the sleeved green-and-white swimming suit I posted this morning. However, it has one draw-back: Its sleeves prevent onlookers from seeing my first and fave tattoo, which lives on my right upper arm. Yes, it’s my TATTOO tattoo, which I got over 30 years ago. I wanted a tattoo, but I had no idea what I wanted my tat to be. I like words, so TATTOO was an easy idea to come up with. The tattooist thought I was nuts, but oh well. Over the years, my simple TATTOO tat has gotten more attention than all of my other tats combined. People ask me to explain it, so I tell them what I just told you, and I say the idea fell out of my odd, bipolar head.I have 5 tattoos at this point. 4 of them are words. The other is a bee on my shoulder in honor of my dad, St. Ron of the Bees. One of my tattoos is not for public display. (Don’t even ask.) Right before the pandemic shut things down, I had made an appointment at a nearby tattoo studio to get two more words etched into my flesh. I’m hoping the tattoo studio will re-open soon. When it does, I’m sure I’ll do a post for y’all about the two words and the whole inky ordeal. Me? Write a post about something going on in my life—past, present, and/or future? Surprise, surprise!BTW I’m not wearing my cowboy boots in this photo, but I am wearing my Sloggers cow boots. They’re kinda sorta almost not really the same thing.🤠

Posted on

A Long Weekend? I Thought That’s What We’ve Been Having For The Last 2 Months

Just sittin’ around waiting for the three-day weekend to begin. Got a pocket square which matches Bow Tie o’ the Day, as well as a tank top pocket to hold it.

We don’t have any specific plans set for the weekend yet, but you know I’ll come up with something post-worthy. What I really want to do this weekend is drive to Delta and kidnap Mom from the care center for a couple of hours, and take her up to visit Dad’s grave—where she can pretend to be mad at him, as she demands him to “get the Hellen up from under that awesome headstone.” But breaking Mom out of lockdown isn’t in the cards this year.

I am not a gal who enjoys fighting my way through mobs of folks, even when we aren’t in the midst of a pandemic, so I pay my respects at cemeteries on any day that’s not Memorial Day. It’s too people-y on that day. I have, however, always been a Memorial Day lookie-loo who drives by cemeteries to see the graves all gussied-up, but from a bigly distance. I suppose you could say that doing cemetery drive-by’s is my own tradition of Memorial Day social distancing.

Posted on

When In Doubt, Wear A Hat

Lavender Bow Tie o’ the Day knows a swell hat can win you lots of admirers. The dapper-er the hat, the groovier. Aside from baseball caps and cowboy hats, we are not a varied hat-wearing culture. In fact, ‘Mericans are largely a hatless people. I vote for immediate change. Go buy yourself an audacious hat. Wear it everywhere you go. Wear it with your mask. Flaunt its pizazz. Let it be your crown.

Posted on

To Mask, Or Not To Mask

If it will make you feel safer to wear a mask during the pandemic but you don’t have access to the real thing, simply use your imagination as you look around the house you’re stuck in.

Within five minutes of searching through my house, Tie o’ the Day and I found a multitude of possible items that could potentially work for me. Here are just a few. First, I tried a paper party hat on my face. I only had to fold-close the hole at the point to make a seal. It was painless to wear. The second item I found and tried to turn into a mask was my blow-up Santa beard. The plastic beard worked only so-so, because it got sweaty with breath way too quickly.

And then I tried on a bunch of Skitter’s hats. The animal-print cowboy hat was probably the overall most efficient mask made out of Skitter’s hats, in terms of both fit and purpose. My favorite pseudo-mask, by far, was Skitter’s sombrero. I didn’t care that I couldn’t see while wearing it, because it looked so very dandilicious on me.

Posted on

I’m Whistling “Taps”

I donned my wood guitar Bow Tie o’ the Day for our outing to Nashville’s Fisk University yesterday—our last stop before heading to the airport for our flight home to SLC last night.

I am sad to report that this is the last photo ever to be taken of me in my bow tie beanie. A heady tragedy happened soon after our foray at Fisk U. Somewhere at the Nashville airport, between dropping off the rental car and walking to the terminal, my hat went missing. Was it pilfered by a jealous criminal with a penchant for bow ties? Did it run away to join the bow tie circus? Did I carelessly drop it from my too full clutches? I dunno. I just know it’s gone for good, and I shall never wear it again. Because of that, I am in mourning. And I also wish my bow tie beanie well, as it begins its new life as an orphan in Tennessee.

Posted on

Stylish Rabbit Food

I learned something today, after I got over my grumpy grump grumpiness. Apparently, lettuce can serve a plethora of purposes beyond being food. Lettuce can also be headwear, neckwear, and footwear. How ’bout that! A hat, a Bow Tie o’ the Day, and shoes. I never knew lettuce had a fashionable life. Now I do.