Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Tie o’ the Day is worn by the amazing President Travis. I am proud to call him my nephew for many reasons, one of which is that he regularly wears classy ties. Here, his choice o’ tie echoes the Divine Miss Gracie’s dress. Gracie’s face shows how much she adores her dandy daddy. Her school picture says she’s ready to take on the world of academia. I love these people.
One day last week, we headed to Delta to spend some time with Mom at Millard Care and Rehab. For the trip, I donned my Santa-hatted scottie dog Bow Tie o’ the Day. I wore a Christmas-camo Face Mask o’ the Day as well.
Mom was in fine form while we were there. Her humor remains intact, as does her feistiness. The details of her stories change or sometimes get completely lost, but the gist of each story still comes through loud and clear. She is, as always, a ball of fun and generosity. As Suzanne and Skitter and I were leaving her, we walked Mom to the care center’s beauty shop, so she could get her hair done. I mask-kissed Mom and told her I loved her, and I thanked her for everything. I thanked her for my whole life. As I turned to leave her, she said to me, “You’re a good daughter.” And, like the smart-ass she taught me to be, I said, “Well, I’ve always tried to stay out of jail for you as much as I could.” She winked at me and she thanked me for that. We left each other laugh-crying—just as it should be.
Howdy! TIE O’ THE DAY is back in session. I will catch y’all up on some of the more memorable of my recent time-off escapades, so stay tuned for more holiday-ness over the next few posts.
These photos are from a brief—but rejuvenating—meet-up I was able to have with my oldest sister, BT/Mercedes, and her hubby, Nuk. As far as my attire goes, for the meet-up, I stayed with the colors of the Christmas season by wearing one red Sloggers shoe and one green Sloggers shoe. I also wore my seasonal wintry cape, which was made by Suzanne. In contrast, I added a non-holiday pink cravat as my Tie o’ the Day for the occasion.
As per usual, BT/Mercedes and I met-up at Barnes & Noble in Layton. We didn’t go inside, but Mercedes and I devour books like the world ends at midnight, so Barnes & Noble is a both a convenient and symbolic spot for us to meet. BT brought some goodies she wanted me to take to Mom when I drove down to Delta the next day, and I had a pile of books for BT which I thought she might like to scour through. We made the swap in the parking lot, where we had a gabfest in the cold. BT just had to read the bumper stickers on my car, and then she said to me, “You’re just like me, only funner!” Trust me—she’s a mega-fun person, in her own right. I learned much about how to entertain others from her. She’s the firstborn. I am the baby of the family, who showed up 15 years after her. As I have probably said about us before, we are exactly the same person—except for the million significant ways we differ from each other. I do think we make a swell set of bookends (and bookworms) for the family, though. 📚📖
This is a jolly photo of Mom and Judie Curtis, from December of 2017. Judie adores Mom, and Mom adores Judie. They both happen to adore me for some odd unknown reason, so they were pleased to wear a couple of Christmas Ties o’ the Day for this photo—just because I asked them to do it.
We joke that Judie is Mom’s favorite daughter. She checks in with Mom on the phone regularly, visiting her when she gets to Delta. Almost every time I call Mom, she’ll say something like, “I just talked to my friend, Judie!” or “My friend, Judie, was just here!” Judie has been a blessing to Mom for years, which automatically makes her a blessing to me.
Not only do I have my mother’s name for my first name, but my middle name—the name by which my family and most of Delta knows me—is Judie’s mother’s name: Eileen. Judie’s mom was the nurse who took care of Mom in the hospital when I was born. It was a difficult birth, and Mom came near to dying. Mom showed her gratitude for the tender nursing care she received by giving me Eileen’s name. Likewise, Dad showed his gratitude for my successful birth by also giving me Mom’s name—at the very last minute, in my naming blessing, unbeknownst to Mom herself until that very moment. That’s how I became Helen Eileen. And that’s when Judie became my real fake sista.
[This is Dad’s obituary, as printed in his much-beloved SALT LAKE TRIBUNE. Note that Dad is wearing a Tie o’ the Day in this photo, and he was rarely a tie guy.]
Ronald Wright 6/13/1930 ~ 12/4/ 2007
DELTA- Ronald Edmond Wright, 77, died on Dec. 4, 2007 at home surrounded by his family after a valiant struggle against multiple health issues. Born June 13, 1930 in Nephi, UT to Walter Edmond and Zola Walker Wright. Married Helen Anderson, his high school sweetheart from Oak City, UT on July 26, 1948 in Manti LDS Temple. Ron graduated in 1948 from Delta High School.
After graduation, bought father’s bee operation and was known as knowledgeable, reputable beekeeper. Shared expertise, labor and equipment with local beekeepers and others he met while traveling throughout the west. To stay home more while the children were young, Ron took a second profession as brick mason. Dad enjoyed outdoor activities and was an avid hunter in his favorite Millard County mountains. Also took forays to other areas, notably Alaska where he hunted moose, caribou and Kodiak bear. The trophies hung in the old First Security Bank and in the former Wolfe’s Sportsman store. Dad was never happier than when being stung by a bee, or holding a baby.
Survived by wife: Helen, of 59 years; children: Betty and Kent, Anne and Gary, Ron and Marie, Rob and Mary, Helen E. and Suzanne; 18 grandchildren, 30 great-grand-children- and three more in a few months; sister: Shirley (Pete) Petersen; a brother: Derral (Shirley) Wright; and a sister-in-law: Joanne P. Wright. Preceded in death by brother: Wally Ray; dogs: Dumb Dumb, Becky, and two Berts.
Services: Sat. Dec. 8, 2007 at noon, Delta LDS 1st Ward. Friends call Sat. morning at church, 10-11:45 a.m. Burial Delta Cemetery.
I channeled Dad in order to make a final decision about purchasing the new truck I’ve been eyeing. Dad knew his trucks. Also, Dad always had a red or blue hanky dangling from his back pocket, so I wore a hanky-esque Face Mask o’ the Day to the car dealership yesterday. I doubled-down with the black in my Bow Tie o’ the Day and the yellow in my shirt—the two colors signifying the bees Dad expertly cared for in his life-long work.
I picked up Suzanne from her office and took her on a test-drive in my potential auto acquisition. Suzanne’s tummy gets hyper-queasy when riding in bouncy vehicles like my old jalopy truck, so I wanted to make sure she could stomach the ride in this new vehicle. If she couldn’t relax and enjoy the truck’s ride, I would not even entertain the idea of acquiring this truck candidate. At some point during the test-drive—as I drove, and as Suzanne played with all the gadgets and controls in the cab—Suzanne seemed to be remarkably pleased with the level of smoothe-icity of the truck’s ride. Suzanne’s perfectly settled stomach was saying, “Yes!” to the truck. Consequently, I made my bigly decision to buy the 2022 Ford Maverick—and in my kind of flashy color, called Velocity Blue. When we finally returned the demo truck to the dealership, I was grinning through my face mask as I signed my “Helen Hancock” on the necessary paperwork. Oh, happy, wallet-emptying day! 💸💸
The bad news is this: My brand new travel toy is a special order, and it will not be built and delivered to me for 2 or 3—or maybe 4 or more—months. The good news about the bad news is this: If I don’t explode to smithereens with anticipation before my truck gets here, I will have grown my patience to superpower-strength. That kind of patience comes in handy on this planet full of imperfect human beings. Patience, I fervently believe, is the next best quality to kindness.
[Yesterday, I re-posted a photo of Mom slicing her cheese bread. I told about the importance of cheese bread at our family holiday meals. Today, here’s a second re-post of the recipe.]
Five red Bow Ties o’ the Day are proud to provide a recipe we think you’ll find tasty. It’s cheesy and bready. Who could find fault with that?
Actually, I really can’t call this a “recipe.” Mom’s recipes ranged from easy-peasy to intricate and near-impossible. This is a simple one. Three ingredients are all you need. You’ll also need an oven.
1 loaf of French bread. 1 stick or 1/2 stick of butter. And one jar of Kraft Old English Spread.
Lay a sheet of foil across a cookie sheet. You do not want to have to clean baked-on cheese off your cookie sheet. Use the foil.
Hand-mix the cheese spread and butter together until it’s creamy. Mom generally uses the whole stick of butter, although I’ve seen her use just half a stick. I always use just the half.
With a bread knife, skin ALL the crust off the French bread. Ditch the crust.
Cover the bottom of the skinned loaf with the cheese/butter spread, then place it on the foil-covered cookie sheet. Continue to cover the sides and top of the loaf with the cheese/butter spread. Spread the spread as evenly as you can. Since the size of French bread loaves vary, you might or might not use the entire amount of spread. Plus, you’ll definitely want to experiment with how thick you like your cheese spread layer to be. If you want a thin layer of the cheese/butter mixture on the entire loaf, you’ll probably have enough to cover two loaves.
Bake for 10-ish minutes, at 350 degrees. Ovens vary, you know. Experiment with how crusty—if at all—you like the top of your cheese bread to be. The more you experiment with the variables, the more cheese bread you’ll “have to” eat.🤤
I recommend you slice the cheese bread (an electric knife works best) while it’s still hot. And put it on the table hot. But it’s still yummy when it has cooled off.
As any good cook knows, even with an easy recipe the taste is in the details. Mom’s excellent cooking was the result of tweaking good recipes to make them better, as well as her knack for timing. Still, she cooked primarily by sight, smell, and taste. Measuring ingredients wasn’t much of a concern to her. She guesstimated a lot. That’s what makes it difficult to pin down her actual recipes.
If someone wanted a recipe, she’d give them one. She’d also invite them to come to the house to watch her make what they were asking about. Her complicated candy-type creations are especially almost impossible to re-create, even if you watched her make it and tried to write everything down. She was always changing the way she did it or adding a new twist or a different ingredient. And, of course, exact measurements were not always Mom’s way.
Oh. About the potato chips and Diet Coke in the photo. Those food staples are for you to snack on while you make the cheese bread. Substitute a bottle of wine for the Diet Coke, if you are so inclined. Chocolate is also allowed.
[This is a re-post from 2019, offered for your re-enjoyment. I’ve had a request for Mom’s cheese bread recipe again. I will re-post her recipe in the next TIE O’ THE DAY installment.]
Entwined hearts Bow Tie o’ the Day is perfect for Mom. I have been told she’s having an extremely tough time missing Dad recently. Even though he’s gone, their love lives. It’s a time/space continuum thing.
This photo was taken almost 20 years ago. I think Mom is in the kitchen at the Palomar. Most likely, this was a Thanksgiving bash. Check out Mom’s attack face. She is darn well gonna conquer those two loaves of cheese bread. And note the oven burns on the back of Mom’s hand. You’ve heard of rug burn. Well, this is cheese bread burn. She burned her hands on the oven coils every time she made cheese bread. Every time, I tell you. Mom never met an oven glove she’d use. She was strictly a dishtowel gal.
In our house, the electric knife was used for cutting only two things: carving turkey and slicing cheese bread. It was basically used only on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. And then the gadget was immediately put back in its little 70’s original box, and into the kitchen cupboard where Mom and Dad kept the checkbook. The knife laid in its skinny box all alone for 362 days a year. Poor thing. I should have put a bow tie in with it for company.
Mom’s cheese bread is a sacred food. Many of you have had the privilege of tasting Mom’s confections over the years, and you know she was an excellent all-around cook. But Mom’s cheese bread was something she made almost exclusively for family holiday dinners. It was a rare gem. And it was the key food item of those dinners. Dinner did not happen without the cheese bread. Kinds of salads changed. Different versions of potatoes joined the basic mashed potatoes. You’d think the turkey would be the star of these feasts, but it was always about the cheese bread.
And it was war. The most desired slices of cheese bread are the ends, where the cheese-to-bread ratio is the highest. If you managed to score one of the ends, it was only because you managed to steal one before someone else stole it.
At some point after dinner, there was what I’ll refer to as The Tri-Annual Battle Over the Tinfoil On Which the Cheese bread Was Cooked. The tinfoil cheese was like the cherry on top. It was like the prize in the cereal box. The foil was covered in baked-on, cheese bread drippings. Dad usually won that war. And then he would sit at the head of the table, picking carmelized blobs of cheese off the tinfoil—obnoxiously, so we couldn’t help but watch it happen. And we drooled through the torture of witnessing him gorge himself on the results of our defeat.
I have made this cheese bread for parties and dinners and potlucks in three states in this U.S. of A., and I can attest to its lusciousness. A couple of enemies became my friends because of this cheese bread. Its power knows no bounds. 🧀 🥖
We have chosen to stay home for the bigly holiday feast next week. Suzanne is exhausted because she has been working her butt off at her office recently—working late even more than is her usual OCD work habit. And even though I am recovering well, I am in no shape to share a dinner table with any of the various bad germs that will surely accompany some of my friends and family at this time of year. I’m in no mood for any germs, no matter how much I love and appreciate the people o’ my life. TV dinner Thanksgiving Tie o’ the Day has given me an easy-peasy idea for next week’s holiday dinner: maybe I should keep it extremely simple, and just microwave a couple of frozen turkey dinners from the grocery store freezer. It would be an effortless, quiet change o’ pace. Of course, no matter what I finally plan to serve for our two-person Thanksgiving feast, I will most assuredly be making Mom’s traditional cheese bread in the traditional way. It is not advisable to cut corners on THE cheese bread, and it would not be a true T-giving without it. In fact, I should probably make two identical loaves of it, so we each have our own personal loaf. I wouldn’t want any knock-down, drag-out mayhem to occur over who got more of the precious cheese bread on a holiday which is meant to celebrate both gratitude and—apparently—gluttony. 🦃🧀🥖😜
Y’all can see the Divine Miss Grace is related to me. She was all bows-up as Minnie Mouse for Halloween. She rocks her Bow Ties o’ the Day like a pro. President Travis and President-ette Collette are obviously still teaching Gracie The Way o’ the Bow, and I am one proud grand-aunt.