Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Tie o’ the Day and I know the only reason some of you read these posts is for updates about Mom. That’s a dandy reason. Mom’s uniform is here to update you. (She keeps keeps a nightgown at all her children’s houses, in case there’s a sleepover in the works.) After Mom spent last Monday at ER in Ogden with a horrible cough, she’s now in the hospital in St. George, where she says SH*T sometimes after she coughs. She shouldn’t say that in Marie’s presence. 🤒 😱
Tie o’ the Day is another tie Suzanne got me for X-mas this year. Shirt o’ the Day is a X-mas present from her also. This photo shows I woke up from my nap on the paisley side o’ the bed. If I had to choose only one print design for any type of clothing or accessory, it would undoubtedly be paisley. Paisles (as I refer to them) look like commas/quotation marks/apostrophes on LSD. Paisles also resemble caterpillars, but that comparison is not as edgy. 😸
Tie o’ the Day is a X-mas gift from Suzanne. I always wear at least one thing she’s gifted me, so she knows I’m thinking about her in my day. We’re going to lunch, and I decided I should go black-tie. Tie and Shirt sort of match, which Suzanne likes me to do occasionally. And a splash o’ color is always a lively choice. Thus, Lake Tahoe Hat o’ the Day is the blue cherry on top. No cufflinks, cuz Shirt is short-sleeved. It’s warm outside. 😃
Mom’s home in St. George now. She had a ball getting Wasatch Front attention, but she’s ready to be home. Bow Tie o’ the Day’s hanky-ness shows its solidarity with Mom in her current coughing/snotting condition, which was so froggy she had to take an ambulance ride to Ogden Regional Hospital yesterday— where she stayed a few hours. It’s not that Betty and Kent didn’t take good care of her at their place. It’s just that Mom is 87-years ancient, and even routine things wear her down. 🤒
Tie o’ the Day reminds me to fill up the gas tank in Vonnegut Grace Vibe before we drive Mom to meet Ron. One thing a person should consider when chauffeuring the elderly is the effect of your fashion choices on their elderly minds. For example, if I didn’t wear a tie on the trip, Mom would worry something was wrong with me. And orange is one of Mom’s fave colors, so she feels cheery to see me in this shirt. PLEASE YOUR MOTHERS, FOLKS!
Check out my bigly blinged-out cufflinks. Tie o’ the Day and I are heading south to pick up Mom. We get to entertain her for a few days. I doubt she and her healing hip will be dancing like Tie’s hula girls, cuz she doesn’t wanna break her other hip. Mom has been known to dance what she calls “a jig” to make us laugh. She has no rhythm, and that has always made for hilarity. But it’s never kept her from dancing her joy. 💃
Skitter’s been going through boxes o’ papers, and she latched onto Bow Tie o’ the Day, which decorates the most perfect-for-me birthday card I’ve ever received— right down to its shirt and vest. Suzanne gave the card to me years ago. I think she knows me well. In fact, she probably knows me too well for my own good. In the final analysis, I’m quite easy to please. My needs are simple: books and ties take care of me. Steak is also necessary. 🐄 🍽
Last night I wore my Colonel Sanders Tie o’ the Day to bed, in order to dream of rodeos, horse racing, and wild horses on the West desert. When I was in my dreamy kidhood, I often went out West with Dad and Grant Crane to wrangle wild horses. I loved to watch the horses run with equine joy. Dad once owned a race horse that had a penchant for leading in every race, but somehow managing to finish last. You could bet on it. 💸 🏇
I’m not particularly interested in single-color ties. Bow Tie o’ the Day is a fine exception. Who can’t groove to a metal-tipped bow tie? And this one is a swell salmon/coral beaut o’ a specimen. Its shiny tips make me long to dig through my storage to find my kidhood cap-gun and holster. Oh, and spurs. I have some spurs somewhere. Yes, and chaps! In my very younger years, I wore my spurs on my high-top Converse. I vow to bring back that fantasterful look!!