Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Raise your glass o’ green beer to the gaggle of Bow Ties o’ the Day on this St. Patrick’s Day evening! We’re just sitting here on the loveseat, drinking FRESCA and DIET COKE, and watching LIVE PD. Call us if you need a designated driver. Seriously. PM me. It might take me hours to get to where you are, but I’ll be there to fetch ya. 🤠 🍻 Party safely! But party on!
Tie o’ the Day is called a puff tie. It looks like a combo of a cravat and a necktie, with a hint of a Colonel Sanders tie in it, too. CHEERIOS Cufflinks o’ the Day definitely star in this post though. I am a serial cereal killer. When I was wee, every Saturday, Mom let me buy a box of cereal. I chose based on the coolest prize inside the box. Blast from the past! Anybody remember VAN’s, or MR. G’S, or DOVE’S, or HAPPY SERVICE?
I thought I heard Skitter rummaging through the chews in her toy box, but when she found me, it was clear she had been scouring the St. Paddy’s Day tie and prop box. I don’t mind when she plays dress up, so here she is trying to take a nap in Bow Ties o’ the Day treasures she managed to grab. I didn’t see Skitter actually sip any green beer, but she has peed a bigly flood of extra-bright yellow snow across the yard today. 🍀 🍺 ☘
Love me my Art Deco-style Tie o’ the Day. Cufflinks o’ the Day portray my breakfast. Yes, sometimes I do eat appropriate food at the proper time. But not often. Please check out all the material and other sewing accessories behind me. That is Suzanne’s, of course. And it’s stacked up and covering the entire kitchen island. The ironing board is set up at the side. Suzanne has filled up her craft room, and the eatin’ table is covered with sewing machines. No room for actually eating.
Skittles Bow Tie o’ the Day accompanied us to my thrilling birthday evening at BAMBARA, for a bass and scallops dinner, and then to the Capitol Theater for an opera doubleheader of PAGLIACCI and GIANNI SCHICCHI. I chose the Skittles bow tie because some people take “high culture” too seriously. A hint of clashy levity in your formal fashion tells others that although you’re at a sophisticated event, you’re here to be art-edified AND have a blast. Suzanne looks smashing. And I look like the circus I am. 🤡 🎪 🤹♀️
Bow Tie o’ the Day is my latest acquisition. The wood doggie do-dad thrills me, and the lush partridge and pheasant feathers are both soft and splendid. I photographed it alone, so you could gander at its ornithological grandeur. I often pet its silky feathers. FYI Suzanne is relatively pain-free after her lithotripsy trip to the hospital yesterday. She does have a patch of what resembles road rash on her side where the laser shot through her. But she’s peeing sandy rocks, which is a good sign. 🚽
Bow Tie o’ the Day declares it’s official: Suzanne doesn’t just have strength of character. She also has strength of kidney stones! Today, her humongous kidney stone defeated the Laser o’ Lithotripsy. I’ve always known Suzanne was tough, with a big splash of stubbornness. I just didn’t know she passed these qualities on to her kidney stones. This particular stone is 3.2 cm long, and the doc says she’s been creating it for years. The lithotripsy laser was unable to blow it to smithereens. What’s next? Dunno. ⛰ 🏋️♀️ 🤷🏻♀️
This Tie o’ the Day is an answer to any “what-kinda-tie-do-I-wear-today?” question. This morning we’re venturing to the hospital, where Suzanne’s bigly, gnarly kidney stone will be lasered into tinier, gnarly stones for her to pee out of her system. This procedure, called LITHOTRIPSY, is a new chapter in Suzanne’s book o’ kidney stones adventures. The next few weeks of peeing rocks will be fruitful for Suzanne though: She can add to her collection of past, passed gems. But unlike me, Suzanne doesn’t wear what she collects. 😱 💎
This is what transpires every time Bow Tie o’ the Day and I go shopping at JoAnn’s with Suzanne: She says she just needs one thing, so I go inside with her and look around. And then her cart keeps filling up, and I can see it’s gonna take some bigly time. I go wait in the car, where I listen to Wilco or The National or P!nk, while eating licorice, and snapping pix for TIE O’ THE DAY. She takes even longer at Mom’s Crafts. 🛒 🙄
Bow Tie o’ the Day is a beachy, pastel green thing, posing with a wee Chardonnay bottle. I got this wine in Monterey for Suzanne, and she thought it was too cute to not haul home — empty, of course. I guesstimate the bottle holds three swallows of wine — not even enough to get a beach buzz. So I got Suzanne four of them. The bottle is plastic, so it is allowed the beach. Wine is not a temptation for me, but I still miss tasty microbrew beers. 🍺 🍷