Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Tie o’ Last Night is worn by Suzanne The Great. The tie’s hula skirt actually sways. Suzanne borrowed my shirt and tie for the Gala, cuz she doesn’t have beach clothing. Guess what she bid on, and won, in the silent auction? Mascara. I did not mis-type that. She bid an astronomical amount of money on mascara. Oh well, the money went to meet students’ needs. But still… MASCARA? Let me repeat that again: MASCARA! You can bet I’ll make her share it with me. Yeah, right! 👁 🏖
Bow Tie o’ the Day and I are not fully awake. And yet, we have already hied off and back to the airport. Suzanne caught an early plane to Reno, for work. I am alone again, but Zombie-like in my I’m-old-and-can’t-get-up-early-without-paying-for-it-anymore stupor. I don’t wonder where the decades of my life went. But I’m starting to feel the truth that I don’t have many decades left. It won’t be enough time, but it will have to be. Hmmm… Who’ll take care of my neckwear when I’m dead? 👔 🎀 🤔
The in-laws gave us this 10-gallon barrel to use as part of our emergency/disaster storage. I’m sure they meant for us to fill it with water, but I decided I can be thirsty for the duration of Armageddon. What I can’t do during Armageddon is have an unadorned neck. I have my 100-oz. mini-keg of Diet Coke, and I’ll share it, so we’ll stay semi-hydrated. I’m filling this storage container– aka Helen’s Ark– with as many of every species of neckwear I can fit inside it. 🚢
So I’m joyfully skipping around upstairs, picking out Tie o’ the Day, and here comes Suzanne– groaning and bent over like she’s in labor. Words are not necessary. One of those blasted kidney stones is stuck somewhere inside. We automatically took our roles in this routine. I handed her a pain pill. And she squat-walked back to bed. Tie choice was made easy: Tie o’ the Day displays Band-Aids and words o’ pain. Tie’s helping Suzanne rest and recover. We’re awaiting the impending birth of a rock. 👶
Skitter’s back from her teeth-cleaning at the vet’s! That’s Skitter pouting under her blanket. She’s not happy with me and Bow Tie o’ the Day that we made her get her chiclets pearly white. She’s also not happy she came home with 2 fewer teeth. She’ll be barking another tune when she gets up in the morning to find the Incisor Fairy has left her some coins. Her tiny-tooth work cost more than my full set of dentures. She’s very expensive for being a free rescue dog. 💵 💸
Bow Tie o’ the Day spent the morning at the hospital with us for Suzanne’s second lithotripsy. The first lithotripsy ultrasound shock waves didn’t break up the bigly kidney stones sufficiently to be passed. I decided Bow Tie would be an appropriate assistant to the whole procedure, with its superhero lightning bolts sending their waves toward Suzanne’s stubborn kidney rocks. Since the procedure is not an invasive surgery, my hospital mask isn’t necessary. But who cares? It’s snappy, and makes me look like I’m a doctor. 👩⚕️
I post frequently about food, which I guess makes sense because we all eat every day. Tie o’ the Day says I’m hankering for Surf ‘n’ Turf for dinner. Cufflinks o’ the Day emphasize my desire for the lobster, especially. I can’t go out tonight because Suzanne won’t be back until too late. I could go out to eat alone, and it doesn’t bug me to do that. It would bug Suzanne to miss out on the feast though. And I don’t want to face those consequences. 😱 🙀
If a song is gonna get stuck in your head, pray it’s a classic. Unfortunately, my head’s been replaying the not-so-classic “Farmer In The Dell,” in which the cheese stands alone. Bow Tie o’ the Day is providing this slice of fromage some companionship. See, I’ve taught my neckwear to be compassionate to others. Suzanne has a bigly appetite for any and all cheeses. Years ago, I found the beyond-perfect gift for her when I came upon this foot-square, 10-pound, marble slice of swiss cheese. #holyhomedecorbatman 🧀
Like any parent with loud, hyper young’uns (which all young’uns are), I enjoy their nap time more than they do. Ties o’ the Day often curl up with Skitter for their afternoon sleep. When I was younger, and the wee ones finally nodded off, I savored the quiet house. I spent that time doing whatever I wanted. Now that I’m older, when the young’uns are in their deep afternoon doze, all I’m capable of doing is snoring through a nap myself. My life is so exciting. 😉
Bow Tie o’ the Day is hangin’ loose. We’re tired from chillin’ with Mom. Mom is still her lovely self, but she’s kinda high maintenance at 87. I didn’t sleep well there, cuz I was always checking to see if she was still breathing. I didn’t eat much, cuz Mom just kinda snacks throughout the day, instead of eating meals. I slept well here last night, but now I’m hungry, so I’m deciding whether to go with Shirt’s suggestion of fish tacos, or ‘Link’s suggestion of macaroni and cheese. 🤔