Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Bow Tie o’ the Day watches over Mom. The circle of life is undeniable. A newborn sleeps away its days. Likewise, at the end of a long life, I guess we will do the same. That’s what Mom is doing these days. She sleeps, dozes, and briefly rests her eyes throughout her days and nights. Often, she falls asleep during a tv show, and when she wakes up, I have to tell her how the show ended. I sometimes make up a happy ending, when it wasn’t happy at all. 📺
Mom is a vamp, and always has been. The only thing that could make Mom any sexier is, of course, Bow Ties o’ the Day. She looks mighty voluptuous even without them, and it’s obvious how she got Dad’s attention. On our couch right now, Mom’s “fixing” her own no-gray, 87-year-old hair. When she pulls the hairspray out, I grab Skitter and we haul our butts upstairs. Mom is such a layer-upon-layer sprayer that I’m buying her a holster for the can. She don’t need no gun or pepper spray.💇
Bow Tie o’ the Day is ecstatic that Mom’s back in C-ville with us for a command performance. We weren’t satisfied with just spending last week in St. George with Mom, so I fetched her to come on a Northern Utah tour of her many relatives up in these big-city parts. No matter what, Mom can find some way or another that she’s related to anybody she meets– even if it’s a cousin of a stepsister of a father-in-law of a twin of a niece’s “baby daddy.” 🚗 ⛽
Bow Tie o’ the Day and Skitter both asked why I’d take a picture which would force y’all post readers to see up my nostrils. I kinda wondered that too, but it was the only way I could catch me and Skitter in the same shot, while remaining in my seatbelt. Skitter doesn’t get travel sick. But she holds her head up the entire journey, as if she has to supervise our driving. She’s intense about it, and immediately falls over to sleep– exhausted– when we arrive at our destination. Can anyone say TIPPED COW?
Bow Tie o’ the Day isn’t happy we’re leaving St. George. Back to the rat race. Mom’s riding with us for part of our trek. We’re dropping her off in Oak City so she can visit her sister for the day, until Ron and Marie pick her up on their way home from Boise. They’ll be back here, where they can look at this jersey on their wall. Their son, Ron, played minor league baseball for a decade. He ended his career in The Bigs, with the Mariners. ⚾
Bow Tie o’ the Day and I are simply used to it by now. We drive five hours to Dixie– to Mom-sit and vacay– and Suzanne drags her sewing machine along. She’s working on a quilt, and I guess it couldn’t wait a few days until we return home. To be fair, crafting/sewing of any kind is like a vacation for Suzanne. She vacations to Craftville almost every evening. I have never seen the surface of our dining table because it’s covered with sewing machines, and with every crafty, sew-y thingamabob sold at JOANN’S and MOM’S CRAFTS.
Bow Tie o’ the Day tried mightily, but the deck is as close as we could get Mom to the pool. I guess she won’t be skinny-dipping. She’d rather watch us swim, and watch Skitter sunbathe. Maybe next visit Mom’ll dive in. Of course, she’ll have to have her walker bob with her. 🏊♀️ 🐕 Because we’ve been trying to entice Mom into the pool, and we had a massage this morning, Bow Tie and I are late posting. I’m sure you were all worried we would never, ever post again. 😜
Bacon Tie o’ the Day needs no words. Mom and I talked today about “bad words”– the words we weren’t allowed to say around her when we were kids. For Mom, the B-word was BRAT. The F-word was FART. The S-word was SHUT UP. The D-word was DUMB– as in, you never call someone DUMB. We could use her G-word, which was GADFREE. Of course, we couldn’t use the “real” bad words either. But, really– I ask you: How does a little kid not say FART?
Bow Tie o’ the Day chilled with us inside the house, cuz the wind o’ St. George gusted so mightily that I thought we were actually in Delta. Thus, no splashing in the pool. I tapped out a post. Suzanne cut quilt squares. Mom dozed in front of Game 1 of the NBA Finals. When I raised the iPhone to snap our mugs, Mom fretted, “I don’t have my face on!” But I have a rule: Mom must be in post pics, whenever possible. I snapped her face in shadows, and she was pleased with it.
I have promised to teach Bow Tie o’ the Day the finer points of swimming, particularly the butterfly stroke. I think it’ll be easily doable since Bow Tie is butterfly-style. Ron and Marie are heading out-of-town to a grandson’s high school graduation, so we are down in Dixie, Mom-sitting for a few days. Yup, we Mom-sat her at our place last week, and we’re with her again– this time at her home pool. Our goal here is to get Mom to skinny-dip. And it wouldn’t surprise us if she really did. 🏊 😜