Category: Family

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And The Birthday Balloon Bow Tie Goes To…

Birthday balloons Bow Tie o’ the Day reached waaaaaaay back for this photo, which includes today’s beauteous birthday girl, Shelly Shields Monroe, there on the left. This picture hails from 1980, when we ended up together in the Miss Liberty royalty. Yes, I wore a dress. Lisa Topham was Miss Liberty. Shelly was 2nd Attendant, and I was 1st Attendant. For those of you not from the Delta area, and who are not familiar with the Miss Liberty pageant, let’s just say Miss Liberty and her attendants are the 4th of July royalty. We three rode on our own float in the 4th of July parade that year, in matching fabric dresses. Yes, even on the float, I had to wear a dress. At least Mom had made the dress for me, and—as she did with any dress she made me—had made pockets in it so I could carry a handful of Lemonheads, a pen, a tiny notebook, and a tiny book with me at all times during the July 4th parade. Lisa and Shelly and I waved and waved and waved and waved all the way down Main Street. Other than that, all I really remember about the whole Miss Liberty competition and the 4th of July parade was that I kept whispering sarcastic things to Shelly to make her laugh at inappropriate times. It worked.

Shelly and I haven’t lived near each other since we graduated from good ol’ Delta High School nearly 40 years ago. We have talked to each other probably only three or four times since then, but each time the talking came as easily as if we see each other every day. I highly suspect that if life were different, and Shelly and I lived in the same town, we would be like Mom and Peggy: grabbing a daily Coke and going for a ride through the landscape, during which we would help each other navigate the vicissitudes of life, and we would solve the problems of the world—being clever and snort-laughing all the way. Yeah, I think we’d be like Mom and Peggy, but with a lot of Thelma and Louise mixed in. Mostly Louise.

Merry Birthday, my friend I never see!

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A 21-Tie Salute

TIE O’ THE DAY sends a shout-out to Suzanne’s niece, Caitlin Cottrell, one of the soldiers sent to Washington, D. C. to safeguard the Inauguration, and ensure the peaceful transition of power from one administration to the next. Thanks to the National Guard for a job well done. Thanks, Caitlin.

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Gracie Knows What’s Important In Life

Gracie is, as her mom says, “puttin’ on all the bows.” She presents our Bow Tie o’ the Day. I am so proud that the Divine Miss Grace is already paying homage to her bow tie roots. I’m sure Gracie will also embrace her redneck roots someday soon.

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Two Helen’s Through The Looking Glass

Look closely! That’s Mom in there.

I threw on my dog bones Bow Tie o’ the Day, and we all took a Sunday drive to Deltabama yesterday to “visit” Mom. We delivered Mom some tasty goodies from us and from BT, and then Suzanne and Skitter and I stood outside Mom’s window in the cold—feeling warmed by the company through the window. As with every visit, Mom said hello to Skitter first. It is odd to be so close to Mom and yet have to speak to her by phone. Mom kept joking that our visit made her feel like she was in jail. I asked her if she had been hiding a prison record from us, because there’s no other way she could know what jail visitation is like. That made her cackle up a joyous storm.

Mom is doing well, despite her pandemic time in solitary. Whenever I speak to her on the phone, she is generally in her normal happy spirits. But I still have to see it for myself on occasion—even if it is only through a care center window.

BTW Mom sends her regards to y’all. She often refers to my TIE O’ THE DAY readers as “the tie people who sent me birthday cards for my 90th.” Thanks again, for doing that.

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Pandemic Hair And Nostalgia

I got out my going-to-Miss-Tiffany’s-to-get-my-hairs-cut Tie o’ the Day this morning. However, when I called to alert Miss Tiffany I’d be showing up if she had time for me and my head hairs today, I was informed that she had the day off. Oh, well. I was okay with having to re-arrange how I had planned my day to play out, but I didn’t want my hairs-cuttin’ scissors tie to feel disappointed it wouldn’t get to be in this afternoon’s post, so I dug through a box to find some old hairs photos for Tie to pose with.

Here are front and back pix of me and Rowan from 2009, inside the front door of our house in Ogden. We happened to both be growing out our hairs at about the same time then. When we finally had our head hairs chopped off later that year, we donated our locks to make wigs for cancer patients.

Rowan’s teacher in 2009, at Hillcrest Elementary, was Mrs. Cameron. Rowan wasn’t much of a school terror that year, so I only met Mrs. Cameron once, in passing, at a school event. She seemed pleasant enough, and she was a tremendous influence on Rowan at the time. We heard plenty of Mrs. Cameron stories from Rowan around the dinner table—none of which I can remember now. Flash forward to last year at about this time. My sister, BT/Mercedes, sent me a heartbroken text about one of her long-time friends dying suddenly of pancreatic cancer. BT said the woman was smart, and kind, and generous right down to her toes. According to BT, her friend was a genuinely good-hearted being. BT said she had been a teacher in Ogden schools, and her name was Jeanne Cameron.

I did some fact-checking with Suzanne and realized Rowan’s incredible 6th Grade teacher and my sister’s incredible friend were one and the same person. You know how I am about connections and coincidences—and what we are supposed to learn from them. This woman was important in my sister’s life for decades, and this woman was a significant player in Rowan’s life for only one key year. It wasn’t until ten years after Rowan was done with 6th Grade—and Mrs. Cameron had just passed away—that BT and I accidentally stumbled upon the coincidence. Does this tiny connection mean something bigly and specific about the universe? Probably not. On the other hand, I think it is—at the very least—a reminder that we are likely the constant beneficiaries of the work of “strangers” who are connected to us in ways we will likely never know. That is yet another reason we should be civil to people, whether we know them or not.

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A Pandemic Birthday Party In The Birthday Boy’s Garage

I posted last week that my very first brother-in-law, Kent, was turning the bigly 70-damn-5. Here are a few pix of our brief visit to give him our eternal regards for joining the family in 1967, and for staying in the family for the duration. From then, until now, Kent has always hit our funny bones with his up-beat brand of cleverosity. His wisdom shows up wrapped in humor, as well. And his heart is wide open.

On Kent’s birthday, we threw The Skit in the car and drove up to his and BT’s abode in Pleasant View, where a day-long drive-by of honking horns bleated their birthday wishes to our Kent. We actually stopped in to hang for a little while in their garage, which was set up with socializing at pandemically social distances in mind. The libation served to birthday revelers was sparkling cider in the grooviest teensy bottles. A bigly and tall heater spread the heat. The present we gave Kent was one of Mom’s old HELEN W license plates, in honor of him christening all of Mom’s cars with the same title of “the Helenmobile,” probably starting as far back as the 70’s. I will not lie: We stole a masked hug or two from Nuk and Mercedes before we left.

I wore my lighted turkey hat for the occasion, as well as a holiday Tie o’ the Day covered in portraits of polar bears, Santa, and snowmen. Skitter’s Tie o’ the Day is an authentic mystery, and we’re open to any guesses you might have as to what the “thing” on Skitter’s tie is supposed to be. It appears to have a sort of snowman head. It has what might be strings of lights wrapped around its Christmas tree-like “body.” I think it might be a dinosaur of some kind, or maybe Godzilla. It does have a tail. Is it holding a baby who’s wearing a black hat? Seriously, what is this creature? Is it an icon from some cult? Is it a mascot for an octuple-A baseball team nobody’s ever heard of? I feel like I’m missing the punchline to a joke. Whatever it is, I like it cuz Skitter likes it.

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Better Than Christmas Morning

Suzanne and I had some Christmas presents to deliver to Bishop Travis and Bishopette Collette—and Gracie, too—so we drove to Provo a few days after Christmas, when the season had settled down for everyone. We and our Face Masks o’ the Day were treated to an hour of good—though mildly muffled—conversation with Gracie’s parents, and a live performance of The Gracie Show.

Skitter visited the Blackwelder’s with us. It was the first time Skitter and Grace had met, and their encounter was a success. Gracie was enamored with the mutt, and Skitter was willing to let Amazing Grace shower her with up-close, pokey, hands-on attention that only a kid can give. Skitter basked in it. In fact, I didn’t ever see Skitter vibrate around Grace. Well, I guess that’s not quite true. Gracie has a slide in her room, on which she performed amusing tricks for us. Skitter begged me to let her go down the slide a few times to impress The Divine Miss Grace. Of course, I helped Skitter be brave to accomplish the scary feat. Let me tell you, Skitter vibrated all the way down the slide three times, much to Gracie’s delight.

Bishopette Collette later texted that Grace talked about Skitter long after we had gone home. When Skitter heard that, she asked me to teach her to wink. She wanted me to snap a photo of her winking to send to Gracie, and said photo is included here.

BTW Holiday Tie o’ the Day was a hit with Grace. I showed Gracie how to turn on the reindeer’s flashing red nose and Christmas music by pushing the fire flames on the tie. She pushed it as many times as you’d expect a toddler to push a button that turned on a flashing red light and Christmas music. The battery was dead by the time we left. I loved every minute of the visit.

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We Interrupt The Holiday Tie-count…

The first brother-in-law I got, way back in 1967, is officially 75 today. Merry Birthday, Kent! Here he is, tie-ing one on. Tie-ing on at least 17 Ties o’ the Day, to be more precise. (That middle tie is made of wood, too. Cool, eh?)

Kent is a true gentleman whose quick wit never stops. As far as I can recall, he is the originator of the the term “the Helenmobile,” which we all used when referring to whatever car Mom drove at the time—long before she even had a personalized license plate. He is also the originator of the greeting, “How the Helen Wright are you?” which he always used whenever he called Mom to check on her over the years. She has never tired of hearing it, and he’s never gotten tired of saying it to her. Kent and Mom amuse each other to no end. Oh, and they have spent many a weekend watching golf on tv together. Don’t even try to get between Kent and Mom and their golf. Do not touch the remote.

Kent does not wear a cape, but he is a superhero. He is a school bus driver. Chauffeuring a herd o’ children to and from school, and on field trips, gives Kent a wide audience to which he can properly show off his humor and kind soul. Let me tell you—Kent is the dude you want driving your kid’s school bus. His bus is a safe place to be a kid, especially if you’re a shy or scared kid. Kent gets the jokes rolling and makes every kid feel comfortable and important. For example, this year one of the kids he drives is a kindergartener who initially bawled every day when he got on the bus. After a few days of Kent’s good-natured chatter, the kid settled into the routine. So the wheels on the bus went ’round and ’round for a while, and the kid was fine.

But one day, Kent had to drive for a field trip, so he didn’t drive his regular bus route with his regular kids. The next day, when Kent dropped off his usual kids at school, the principal informed him that the formerly-bawling-now-usually-settled-down kid had had a humongous meltdown when Kent wasn’t there to drive the bus the day before. Now, that alone would be a cute little anecdote about how much Kent’s bus kids love him. But Kent goes above and beyond, and refuses to let a story end like that. Kent now takes it upon himself to let both the kid and the principal know when he’s not going to be driving the bus—so neither scared child, nor flummoxed principal, will be caught off-guard by Kent’s absence. Did I mention that my brother-in-law, Kent, is a kind soul?

Let me quote Mom on the subject of Kent: “Oh, Kent takes such good care of Betty. He’s so good to her.” We are all in agreement about that, for sure. And we are all grateful to Kent that he cherishes BT so very much.

Top o’ the 75th Birthday to you, Nuk! 🎂🎈🎉🍿

#kentwearsthedangmaskwhenheissupposedto #merrybirthdaytonukorfloydorkentorwhateveraliashewears #eatyourdangcake

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Our Pandemic Christmas

Our Christmas was low-key, but we managed to include all the usual important elements. We enjoyed gifts, and too much food, and a Zoom family-gathering. Suzanne gave us a gun safe for our recently acquired Beretta. She gave me two Echo Dots, so now I can say things like, “Alexa, create world peace,” to which Alexa replied, “Sorry, I’m not sure about that.” So then I asked Alexa to play Band of Horses songs, which she gladly did.

Suzanne wanted a lighted cutting mat for her sewing and crafting, so Santa gave her that. Santa also gave her a puzzle of Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s image and her famous dissents. The puzzle is entirely words. That oughta be difficult and time-consuming to put together, which will keep us both out of trouble. Oh, and I gave her the tiniest notebook I’ve ever seen: It’s smaller than a matchbook. I think it was her favorite gift. (Note to self: Next year for Christmas, save yourself some big bucks by giving Suzanne only a Munchkin notebook.)

I made a pork pot roast, Mom’s cheese bread, and Mom’s famous-in-Maryland green salad. We ate olives, and Suzanne-made cookies, and every chocolate we could find. We found a lot of chocolates. We didn’t even have room for the Red Button Eggnog ice cream, or the Dreyer’s Pumpkin Pie ice cream. The ice cream still waits in the freezer, for when our tummies have room for it. Trust me—the ice cream will not go to waste.

Later on Christmas Day, we joined Suzanne’s family’s Zoom get-together, for the most important part of our Christmas. It’s a family tradition that the family gathers in the afternoon, and Suzanne’s dad reads the story of Christ’s birth from the Bible, and then reads any story of his choosing which exemplifies the giving spirit of Christmas. This year, he read the O. Henry story, “The Gift of the Magi.” Hearing his voice as he read to us made it feel like a not-pandemic Christmas for a short while. And even on Zoom, excited kids were loudly playing and showing off in the very best way, further making it seem like a regular Christmas—if only for an hour or so. God bless us, every one.

Holiday Tie Tally: 184 Neckties. 73 Bow Ties.

Skitter’s Holiday Tie Tally: 22 Neckties.

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It’s Mom’s World, And We’re All Just Living In It

Here’s the Tie o’ the Day which is hidden from view under the Santa/reindeer/wrapped presents Tie o’ the Day in the first snapshot.

I called Mom this morning to see how she’s doing at MCR. I ascertained from the shortest phone conversation I’ve ever had with her that she is swell and well and dandy. She didn’t have time to talk to her 56-year-old baby because she and the other residents were preparing to watch a movie together. I don’t know any of the specifics—like the title of the movie they would be viewing, or what the care center’s social distancing plan was. I trust MCR to have figured out all of the safety details. All I know is that while conversing ever so briefly with Mom, I could hear joyous chatting voices in the background. Helen Sr. sounded as happy as the proverbial lark. Mom sounded safe and comfortable and excited for her oncoming day. Although I felt kinda cheated out of the conversation we weren’t able to have because she was so busy living her life at 90, I must admit that I was thoroughly pleased with the situation to my core. What more could a 56-year-old baby girl ask for? Mom was comfortable and exuberant, so I guess you can say I already got my Christmas present for this year. If Mom is happy, I seriously do not need one other thing.

Holiday Tie Tally: 154 Neckties. 67 Bow Ties.