In the waiting area, before getting garbed up for surgery.My surgical attire.My beehive hairdo.
The day began with my typical antics in the surgery waiting area of Huntsman Cancer Hospital. Suzanne wore the spiderweb face mask, while I donned the toughest University of Utah red Face Mask o’ the Day I could find. Bow Tie o’ the Bigly Surgery Day was one of my wood, magnetically attached t-shirt bow ties—with Day o’ the Dead skulls, in this case. I felt ready for what was ahead. After I got changed into my surgery duds, I had fun sculpting designs with my “hair net.” Here, you see my versions of a beret and a beehive hairdo. Alas! The fun would not last long that day.
I have crossed all the to-do’s and honey-do’s off my pre-surgery list. The bookshelves are dusted and polished. I did the laundry, so I have clean underwear. Skitter’s sleep-crate water bottle is full to the brim. I made a meal list for Suzanne, so she won’t have to do any thinking about what to eat for dinner while I’m on hosp-cation (hospital + “vacation”) at Huntsman. This afternoon, I finally have time to sit on my butt for a wee bit. I’m wearing an argyle Tie o’ the Day and combing my teensy head hairs with my teensy comb. I’m feeling relaxed, for now. Tomorrow morning’s gutting will be here way too soon, and not nearly soon enough.
Since I’m in the final stretch on the path to surgery, I’ve been tying up loose ends and getting my files and housekeeping in order. The house—and the occupants thereof—must be able to chug right along without me while I’m stuck in the hospital for a week or so. I’ve stocked the pantry. The case of Skitter’s wet food I ordered showed up on the front step. I’ve organized the face masks by color, so Suzanne can easily find matches for her office attire. I’ve loaded as much of my music as I can onto my phone, so I can lie there in the Huntsman Cancer Hospital and listen through the post-surgery pain and boredom. Heck, I even spent the better part of a day cleaning all the light switch plates and polishing every doorknob in the house. I don’t know why I felt like I had to polish the doorknobs. I just knew I’d feel like something was left undone if I didn’t do it.
Anyhoo… All of this prepping has worn me out. I found myself compelled to hang around in the candy aisle at the grocery store this morning, on a search for sugar energy. Here I am, wearing a cheap party Bow Tie o’ the Day. I am in my fave area of said candy aisle: the shelves o’ licorice. You’ll also note that I brought a lengthy sweet-tooth or two to the store with me, in the guise of my vampire Face Mask o’ the Day. 🦇
Pumpkin skull and crossbones Bow Tie o’ the Day was a hit at the deli this afternoon. Bigly spiderweb Face Mask o’ the Day got a few compliments, too. I was mostly occupied in my head with praising today’s rain showers. To me, Fall rain means it’s time to dig through the closet and find my fedora. It is now the fedora time o’ year. 🎩 (Please, pretend the top hat is a fedora.)
I took this selfie at Harmon’s in Farmington, where I was grocery shopping. After I got home and looked at the photos to choose one to post, I got a bit skeered myself. The spiders/spider webs Bow Tie o’ the Day and the carved pumpkin Face Mask o’ the Day were both fun-looking enough on their own, but my so-pale-I’m-glowing skin looked like I had whitewashed my face before heading out to shop. Put it all together and I unwittingly achieved a sort of Lon-Chaney-in-Phantom-o’-the-Opera look. Kinda shocking when you’re not expecting it, eh? Needless to say, no shopper in the store dared to come down any aisle where I pushed my cart. I felt magic. It was a quiet and pleasant shopping venture—except for a toddler who caught a glimpse of my face, immediately screamed, and then began to cry. Yup, this look is just not family-friendly. But I still stand by the killer fashion, of course. 🕸🕷🎃💀
Here I am in my fake-pearl bulldogger Tie o’ the Day, after Skitter and I had spent the afternoon at the playground shown in the background. Skitter is a marvel on the slide, but she moves so quickly I can never capture her ballet-like descent in a photo. And so, all you get is another selfie of me and my bald head.
I finally got to give Mom her birthday hugs, a few days after her actual birthaversary. Mom loves sunflowers, and I was able to find a snazzy Shirt Full o’ Sunflowers to wear for her. It only made sense for me to wear my bees Face Mask o’ the Day with it. In honor of Mom’s fun belief that she is a witch with always-sharpened broom, I donned my flying witches Tie o’ the Day. Mom also liked my pig earrings and my chicken Sloggers shoes, which I chose just for her. She’s such a farm girl.
I managed to find a soft batch of marshmallow Circus Peanuts, which is one of Mom’s fave store-bought treats. We opted to stick a birthday candle in one, so we could sing to Mom. She blew it out like a pro, despite her oxygen difficulties. Of course, she’s had 91 years of practice at blowing out birthday candles.
Mom was more “with it” and energetic than she has been recently. Even Skitter noticed it. Suzanne and I had a wonderful few hours of conversation with the old dame. I was so pleased with Mom’s improvement, and I give credit to the fine cast o’ folks at Millard Care and Rehab. They look out for Mom like she’s family, and it shows.
I often say that Mom was my first blessing, and it is still true. My gratitude for having Mom runneth over—still and always.
I thought maybe I should shop for a new outfit to wear to visit Mom on her birthday this weekend. My first high-style shopping started exactly where it always does: I consulted with VOGUE magazine. That’s where I discovered this toasty number. You’ll note that the sweater’s neck is so high that I won’t even need to wear a separate Face Mask o’ the Day. When she sees me wearing this, Mom will be surprised only by the fact I’m wearing heels. 👠
I have news! First—and most important—Millard Care and Rehab is once again open to visitors. I will be hugging Mom—live and in person—on her actual birthday this weekend. The old broad’s hugs and kisses have always been grand, but somehow they are especially dear to me since Mom has been in the care center. We can’t wait to see her. Skitter is already practicing her rendition of the “Happy Birthday” song for Mom.
The second bit o’ news I can give out to y’all is that my pancreas surgery has been officially re-scheduled. I’m scheduled to be going under the proverbial knife at Huntsman in mid-October. I do hope the operation doesn’t need to be pushed back again. I’m ready for this to be done, whatever the outcome. Cross your fingers, toes, and pancreases that the surgery will happen as scheduled.
You’re already looking at the third bit o’ news. Today, I purposely tried to match by going all houndstoothy with floppy houndstooth Bow Tie o’ the Day and houndstooth Face Mask o’ the Day. (I don’t think I own a houndstooth shirt, but don’t quote me on that. I must research it.) What really makes this extra-bigly news is that matching these two items of my attire did not even make me break out in hives or hyperventilate. Perhaps I’m finally growing up and out of my unconventional ways. But I doubt it.🤓
This smooshed diamond-point Bow Tie o’ the Day was my chosen companion today. Y’all saw this same Face Mask o’ the Day in a post yesterday, but I washed it and wore it again. This mask agitates me. In terms of grammar, there should be a hyphen between the mask’s two words: it should read, “immune-compromised.” I’m sure the lack of a hyphen here doesn’t obscure the meaning of the words for anybody, but it just ain’t grammatically correct. Since I’m the one wearing the mask, I don’t have to look at the ill-punctuated words myself, but I know what others can see—and it gives me the oogies just knowing there’s a hyphen missing on my mask. I will probably have to use a Sharpie to add the correction myself before I can wear it again. I get so vexed and ramped up about these linguistic concerns. I also know most other people do not give a hoot about such things. Okay. I’m now going to try to calm my syntactical nerves down. I shall simply find a thick, dusty, boring book of complex grammar rules to read until my blood pressure goes back down to normal and my hives recede. And then, I will be just fine again. 😷😱
