Category: Cufflinks

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Your Tie Eyes Are Getting Sleepy… Sleeeeeeepy

Bow Tie o’ the Day– with matching ‘Links– is why wood exists. What a happy use for trees! We should plant trees to honor dead trees’ neckwear sacrifices, so future generations can create more wooden bow ties. Today, I was so mesmerized by Bow Tie’s hypnotic waves that it compelled me to become a dues-paying member of Bow SelecTie’s WOODEN-BOW-TIE-OF-THE-MONTH CLUB! I said to myself, “Self, why didn’t I think of joining the club myself?”. My self said, “Because you were lost, but now you are found.” 📪 🤡

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Even Ties Need To Take A Step Back

Long Bow Tie o’ the Day is exhausted and exasperated. Look at its little cogs turning for relief. And I feel the same way, as do my own cogs. Why? We are sick of FEAR and PARANOIA. Even our Cufflinks think they should become extinct. We are sick of the shouting of internet memes that rant, “My politics are right. Yours will doom us all!” Spouting paranoia is not a factual, well reasoned argument that presents possible solutions to problems. Everything is not out to get us! Everything is not a conspiracy!

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It’ll Be Prison Visit Windows Or Fast Food Windows, If Ya Don’t Wise Up

Tie o’ the Day’s snazzy clash with Shirt is serendipitous, cuz I didn’t purposely match colors. I grabbed the first tie and the first shirt I touched in the closet. Cufflinks were definitely a conscious choice. In Baltimore, I often talked with law-breaking students about making better choices. I’d tell them, “If you don’t start making positive choices, when we see each other in the future, it’ll be at The Windows of Life. And you’re gonna be asking me, ‘Do you want fries with that’?” 🍔 🍟 Education matters. 🎓

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Suzanne Promised To Make Me A Cape. So Where Is It?

Tie o’ the Day and I feel batty. Cufflinks join us in their Batman capes. Added Bonus: The capes’ Bat Signs glow in the dark! We aren’t hangin’ in the Bat Cave, nor are there bats in my belfry. I have a tattoo on my left shoulder that says Mom’s version of a curse word: HELFRY! Yes, it rhymes with BELFRY. That word comes out of her mouth when she’s angry. For example, she might say, “Helfry! Why didn’t those cookies rise like I wanted? Darn flour!” 🍪

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Just Say YES To Hat Control For Suzanne

I’m cozied-up in my pajamas, and my cold ears are wearing a hat Suzanne crocheted. I get compliments on the hat, but its floppiness ain’t me. CAUTION: Although Suzanne crochets wondrous hats, DO NOT ALLOW HER TO PUT ANY HAT ON HER HEAD! Your eyes will never recover. Her noggin isn’t misshapen or anything, but here’s the math: Suzanne + hat = LOOK AWAY!!! We’re watching LIVE PD tonight. That’s our go-to, weekend Date Night activity. LIVE PD is also the reason for these Cufflinks o’ the Day: handcuffs!

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Your Car Could Be Next, Old Coot!

Bigly, wood Bow Tie o’ the Evening was kind enough to accompany me to the Home Owners Association meeting. Bow Tie, Lapel Pin, Cufflinks, and Pocket Square ALL acted as my disguise. Mustaches will do that. A disguise is necessary cuz sometimes at these meetings, neighbors forget to love their neighbors. Especially regarding HOA budgets. Recently, some cars have been harassed. When I asked if the Board had discussed installing cameras, the guy next to me snapped, “Only if YOU pay for them!” Love you more, doofus! 💋

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Suzanne Must Think The Lightbulbs Never Burn Out

Tie o’ the Day clashes properly with Shirt, but I should’ve worn a bow tie. I’ve been climbing ladders to replace dead lightbulbs, and ties kinda get in the way. Cufflinks o’ the Day met their bigger, brighter counterparts. For them, seeing real lightbulbs must have seemed like seeing The Jolly Light Giant. I don’t change bulbs if Suzanne’s around. We have high ceilings, and she frets my tremors will toss me off the ladder. If I ever have to call her from the ER, I’m toast. 💡 🏥

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I Should Have Slipped Some Neckwear Into Suzanne’s Suitcase

Bow Tie o’ the Day is covered in superhero lightning bolts, while Cufflinks o’ the Day show a pop art interpretation of Batman’s sidekick, Robin. Suzanne will always be the superhero, and I will always be the sidekick. She went to St. George and Cedar City for work for a couple of days, and she will get home tonight. That’ll be good. A sidekick is kinda lost without their superhero. But how has she managed to get through her days without being surrounded by ties?

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The Friendly Skies Bring Us Home

I call this photo TURBULENCE. The skies were a bit shaky over Monterey Bay. (See my cloud ‘Links?)  Even before take-off things got kinda gnarly. Guess who created a problem with the TSA? Tie o’ the Day created a hullaballoo which caused me to undergo a pat-down. I’m not telling a fish story: the TSA agent actually told me she thought Tie was messing up the body scanner. I think vacation-themed Tie created a fuss cuz it didn’t wanna leave the beach. I can relate. 🏖

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The Art You Don’t Own Can Hurt You

Bow Tie o’ the Day and Cufflinks o’ the Day chaperoned us on our Valentine’s Day Monterey-ing. We ate enchiladas at the beach, then visited some shops where local artists show/sell their pieces. The talent-level of the artists ranged from what I would call “somebody’s sight-challenged grandpa doing paint-by-numbers” to “wow, this chick is an extraordinary artist!” I fell in love-at-first-sight with a small painting, but its price was bigly. We decided to make the house payment instead of buy it. Some regrets are necessary. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 💞