Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Ties o’ the Day cover three tie types. It’s probably impossible for y’all to believe, but there are occasionally days when I cannot decide what kind of neckwear is right for that specific day. Today I pulled out trusty bow tie cufflinks to meet part of my urge. And fortunately, I have a wonderful tie that’s decorated with a bolo. This is a day rich with tiedom. I hope I can carry it off. It’s a lot of responsibility for a tie missionary to be so blessed.
Love me my Art Deco-style Tie o’ the Day. Cufflinks o’ the Day portray my breakfast. Yes, sometimes I do eat appropriate food at the proper time. But not often. Please check out all the material and other sewing accessories behind me. That is Suzanne’s, of course. And it’s stacked up and covering the entire kitchen island. The ironing board is set up at the side. Suzanne has filled up her craft room, and the eatin’ table is covered with sewing machines. No room for actually eating.
Bow Ties/Tie o’ the Day add their panache to the clash-a-rama of my entire get-up. The hot-ness of this sexy outfit is undeniable. Thus, my fire extinguisher Cufflinks o’ the Day are absolutely necessary for my safety, and for the safety of passers-by. Skitter nearly went up in flames when she nuzzled against my shouting duds. The scene was like an Old West shoot-out. Skitter almost got singed, so I drew my trusty fire extinguishers. I shot that spark dead! Skitter’s wisely keeping her skittish distance. 🔥
Bow Tie o’ the Day celebrates International Women’s Day, which shouldn’t be just one day. It should be a 24/7, 365 party. Alkaline battery Cufflinks o’ the Day remind us to thank and honor the energized women around us, who care for us and build us up throughout our lives. These women are so constantly present that we sometimes forget to appreciate them. It seems as if sometimes we don’t even see them in the foreground/background, helping and encouraging us to become stupendous, moral, fascinating people. See them. 👁
I could not fall asleep the entire night, so I took to the couch and watched asinine programs on tv. I chose bright Tie o’ the Day and matching cloth Cufflinks, in hopes of the bright green keeping me awake all day as I errand. I feel like a zombie. No, I AM a zombie. There better not be any such thing as a DWZ: Driving While Zombie. I know I am transformed, because Skitter refuses to sit by me. This too shall pass. I think. 😴
Bow Tie o’ the Day asked me what I want for my upcoming birthday. When anyone asks what I want, I always say, “A non-flaming pancreas”– instead of my actual Hanky Panky. But really, I’m a lucky gal. I already have everything I need and want. I don’t mind getting older, but when I estimate how much longer I will likely live, I know it’s not enough time for me. I have people to love, and love to receive. And I have ties to nurture.❣ 👔
Bow Tie o’ the Day and ‘Links o’ the Day are a bit watermelon-y. I’ve had the weirdest cravings lately. Today, I ate an entire box of Cinnamon Life cereal, and then consumed some watermelon. When we were vacationing in Monterey last month, I ate nothing but calamari and Red Vines licorice. I eat oddly, in general. But these are new levels of food combinations for me. Remember the cliché about pregnant women craving ice cream and pickles? Sounds yummy. I better not be pregnant. 😱 🙀
This Tie o’ the Day is an answer to any “what-kinda-tie-do-I-wear-today?” question. This morning we’re venturing to the hospital, where Suzanne’s bigly, gnarly kidney stone will be lasered into tinier, gnarly stones for her to pee out of her system. This procedure, called LITHOTRIPSY, is a new chapter in Suzanne’s book o’ kidney stones adventures. The next few weeks of peeing rocks will be fruitful for Suzanne though: She can add to her collection of past, passed gems. But unlike me, Suzanne doesn’t wear what she collects. 😱 💎
Bow Tie o’ the Day and I discovered we need to make a grocery list. I don’t go grocery shopping until I absolutely have to, and the fridge and pantry are bare. Almost. In the fridge’s bottom compartment, sits one lonely, perfect package of Johnsonville Stadium Brats. In honor of Cufflinks o’ the Day, we’re ecstatic the brats are truly the only food left. See, now we can each eat two or three of them without guilt. Healthy food is for tomorrow. And tomorrow never really exists. 🌭
I grabbed my trusty, heavy iron skillet Cufflinks o’ the Day so we can cook up a steak. There are rules about eating steak, and the numero uno rule is that you must drink Diet Coke when you’re eating one. Yes, it is too a rule! Lo and behold, Tie o’ the Day discovered we’re soooo out of Diet Coke. We must hie to Dick’s Market to buy a bunch. Some rules are breakable without throwing the world into chaos. But the Diet-Coke-with-steak rule isn’t one of them. 🐄