Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Tie o’ the Day provides dandy clash. Cufflinks o’ the Day are going old school alarm clocks. I had to rise early to get to my crazy-head doc’s office, to get a Functional Ability Evaluation signed for the Driver License Division. It tells them I’m not too bipolar to drive safely. Actually, I got it signed weeks ago, but the Driver License folks wouldn’t accept the form cuz my doc put a cross in a box where a check mark had to be. Waste o’ my time.
Flash drive Cufflinks o’ the Day remind us to back-up our computer documents regularly. I tried a new move on the desktop yesterday, and I lost some writing. Ugh! Suzanne can maybe fix it: she’s got skills. When I screw up something, I inform Suzanne– in a sheepish, hesitant voice– “I did a thing.” Whenever I say it, I briefly see a petrified look cross her face, which I’m pretty sure means she’s wondering if I’m gonna say, “I slipped up and had a drink.” Nope. 🥛
So what was in that illicit-drug-looking package I received? A kilo of Bow Ties/Ties o’ the Day and Cufflinks o’ the Day. 12 bow ties, 3 ties, and one set of cufflinks, to be precise. I made a good haul, eh? I can’t believe it all fit in there. Mom watched me be a happy camper as I opened it up. Opening it required a Swiss Army knife. When I looked at the package again, I decided it kinda resembled an Easter egg. Alas! No treats inside. Dang! 🍫 🥚
Bow Ties/Ties, and Cufflinks o’ the Day fill this fat package. Trust me. I heard a knock at the door, and FedEx gives me this odd package, which I must sign for. The package is an unusual shape. It’s a foot long, and it’s wrapped in an entire roll of packing tape. I’ve watched enough drug-crime shows to know this resembles a kilo of illicit drugs. Was I being set-up to be arrested? I mentioned it to the delivery chick, who looked at me suspiciously. Doh! 📦
Skitter got jealous of Bow Tie o’ the Day, and had to photo-bomb us. Bow Tie and I don’t mind. The ties worship Skitter, and I don’t mind dog kisses– as long as I can wash my face immediately after I get one. We’re so proud of Skitter when she dares to do ANYTHING. As an abused and abandoned dog, she is reticent to be noticed. She still rarely makes eye contact. It’s a bigly triumph for her to even sit beside us. 🐶 💋 And… Cufflinks o’ Peanuts!!!!!
Ascot o’ the Day is just the ticket. Drum set Cufflinks o’ the Day are helping me create some vibrations throughout the house for Suzanne. Suzanne is a medical oddity, and when her lithotripsied kidney stone shattered, stones moved up her kidney instead of down to be peed out. Her kidney stone doc told her that in order to get her stones moving, she’s gotta jump up and down and dance, and I’ve gotta pummel the side of her back. The solution is in the vibrations. 🥊
Cufflinks o’ the Day are golf carts with blue golf bags. Golfing is not a past-time I engage in, but I can still appreciate that these cufflinks are zippy. 🏌️♀️ Tie o’ the Day clashes dandily. I wish I could see a sky the color of Tie’s blue hues. 🏞 With Mom living in St. George, I now have an excuse to travel there whenever I want. And in Dixie, I’ll have a better chance of encountering sun and blue skies. 🚙 ☀ But I won’t golf. I’m a hazardous golfer. 🙀
Pink feather Bow Tie o’ the Day caused a small stir in Suzanne’s kidney stone doctor’s office. Even the doctor marveled at its fantastabulous-ness. And although the doc’s smart and cordial, he strikes me as a humorless fuddy-duddy. But bow ties make even the most stoic people smile. I’m extremely careful not to spill Diet Coke (or anything else) on Bow Tie’s feathers. I’m not a food/drink spiller often, but when I spill, it’s always on something expensive and un-cleanable. 🙀 Cufflinks o’ the Day are 80’s boomboxes. 📻
Cufflinks o’ the Day are the stars of this post. They are working rulers. When I wear them, I can’t help playing with them– opening and closing them constantly. They are my version of fidget spinners. I’m wearing them cuz we’re headed to Suzanne’s kidney stone doc, to measure if her recent lithotripsy sufficiently shattered her 3.2 cm stone. Yes, she’s been peeing rocks and sand, but we’re not sure if they all add up to 3.2 cm of ouch. My Hanky Panky is crossed for positive news. 🤞
The only thing better than paisley– style-wise– is a paisley and wood combination, like this Bow Tie o’ the Day. Pizza cutter Cufflinks o’ the Day make this clashy get-up even more fab. If pizza’s on the menu– and it always is– no matter how crappy your day might be, it’s not a total loss if a pizza knocks on your door just in time for dinner. I sometimes make what I call UGLY PIZZA. I press the dough into whatever jagged shape it wants to be.