Category: Bow Ties

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Singin’ In The Rain

A bunch of months ago, I managed to snag us a couple of tickets to a concert by THE NATIONAL that was somehow sold out before the tickets even went on sale, which meant the $20 tickets were selling for an exponentially pricey sum. I pried my frugal wallet open. We put the date in our calendars. And then we waited for the bigly day. The bigly day was yesterday, but Suzanne had to work to finish a project and couldn’t get away for an evening. I was going to the concert solo.

I thought of asking somebody to go with me. But I didn’t ask anyone. Secretly, I held out hope that at the last minute, Suzanne would be able to show up. I knew she wouldn’t, but my hope is stubborn. Outside the venue, I faced the facts. I finally asked if anybody needed a ticket. Ding, ding, ding. A winner emerged. Bye-bye, pricey ticket. Bye-bye, stubborn hope that Suzanne shows up.

Yup, it was just me and The Saddle Purse at the outdoor concert. Well, er, me and The Saddle Purse and around 9,000 other people. At the Ogden Amphitheater, there is bench seating for 2000 souls. There’s grass and standing room for about 7000 souls. No assigned seating. General Admission, folks. Bench seating, full. Bleacher seating, full. Grass, full. Bathrooms, full. You’d think that finding one seat for a person with no butt would be an easy feat. Nope. But The Saddle Purse and I finally wedged ourselves into a slice of a bleacher seat. (I could have shown up hours before the concert to stake out the highest seat, but ain’t nobody got time for that!)

The concert was a smash, even in the brief rain which fell. There was sort of a glitch in my experience though. I shall remember THE NATIONAL concert in Ogden forever. I’ll remember it because it was stupendous. And, more interestingly, I’ll remember it because it was the one and only concert I’ve ever attended without once seeing the band. Everybody in the audience stood for the duration of the concert. I’m short. That tells you all you need to know. You can’t fight height.

And still, I give the concert a thumbs-up. That “thumbs-up” means a lot, considering I saw no trace of the band. For all I know, the whole event was an elaborate hoax– a joke on me. The sound system might have been spinning music on vinyl, with no band there at all. I don’t care. I had a fantastic time.

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A Prime Time To Shop?

I took this snazzy Bow Tie o’ the Day for a walk at Walmart last Sunday, which was the day before Labor Day. Suzanne was off with the shopping cart, most likely being mesmerized by office supplies or fabric quarters. Aside from me and Suzanne and this seemingly harmless family, there was almost nobody shopping. I have often been a middle-of-the-night shopper when I can’t sleep, but I don’t think I have ever seen so few consumers consuming there in the afternoon.

Initially, I was gleeful at the thought of having a subdued, barely inhabited shopping outing. Imagine doing your Walmart shopping, without the People of Walmart! But no. Lucky me– I don’t get to enjoy a nice, simple outing of unbridled consumerism. Nope. Why? It’s that nondescript family you see in the otherwise barren aisles of my snapshot. They look pleasant enough, but one of those kids will forever be known as The Centerville Walmart Master o’ Screaming Tantrums.

I know, I know. We’ve all heard the loud tantrums of kids in public. We’ve all felt for the parent whose offspring is having an uncontrollable cow, despite their every attempt to get the child to turn it down a notch. And sometimes we’ve even wanted to spank the parent for not spanking the kid after the first or second or twenty-sixth howl.

But I must declare I have never in my 55 years encountered one of these fits with decibel levels of these olympic heights. Nor have I heard such a regular, near-constant, turmoil. The kid didn’t skip a beat. The kid was a pro. The fact that there were few other shoppers seemed to make his yelping echo vigorously through the building. The sound kept making my hearing aid screech. The kid’s shrieks were literally blood-curdling. I felt like I needed a transfusion by the time we left the store. Even Bow Tie o’ the Day couldn’t get out of there fast enough. So much for a quiet Sabbath.

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The Poof Is Not In The Pudding

The poof is in the dress. Not only do we have to have the puffy coat and puffy sleeves to be fashionable this Fall season, this VOGUE ad says we’ve gotta have the puffy dress. At least y’all can see Bow Tie o’ the Day with this outfit.

I think my usual uber-dapper clash fashion forays suit me better than going the VOGUE route. As a “fashion genius” and tblogger, I feel it’s my duty to investigate other styles every now and again, just to make sure I’m not missing something I can’t get from my own personal style of attire. I’m here to tell you, folks: I am not missing one amusing or interesting thing in the world by not wearing a puffy, poofy dress. Clash-y beats puffy every time.

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Suzanne’s In Labor

Suzanne really is in her office doing laborious labor on this Labor Day. She has a bigly project deadline looming at the end of this week, then it’ll be done and over with. But for today, her work project has put a crimp in our Labor Day celebrations. Alas, I am home alone, finding things to do to occupy my bipolar, clash fashion head.

Tiffany grapes design Bow Tie o’ the Day and I decided to spend some of our time reading the newspaper while simultaneously jumping around on the mini trampoline. (You’ll recall I was vacuuming while jumping on the mini tramp last week.) According to VOGUE magazine, the puffy coat I’m wearing in this advertisement is a Tory Burch creation, costing a measly $798. I won’t be buying one for y’all, or for me either. Heck, Suzanne can make me reversible capes for only $30 each. It will require her, however, to go into a kind of labor yet again.

Can you tell I have capes on my mind today? (Hint, hint, Suzanne. Got new capes made?)

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Have Yourself A Merry Little Labor Day!

BBQ Bow Tie o’ the Day says “buh-bye” to Summer and “howdy” to what I will call Not-Summer. We make our abode in Utah; therefore, we know not what season will show up next.

Fashion-wise, Labor Day is the last day it’s “okay” to wear white. Here’s my opinion on that “rule” of fashion: That’s absolute billshut. (See how I didn’t technically write a swear word there?) If you wanna wear white, wear white– whatever the weather. I do, however, believe there is a loosey-goosey Cape Season, during which capes can most appropriately be worn. It has to do with lower temperatures, not the “laws” o’ fashion. The day after Labor Day seems about the right time to begin checking the weather daily, and asking one simple question: Will today be cool enough to wear a cape without roasting?

I will be asking that very cape/weather question tomorrow morning. I already know the forecast says the days will be too hot for a few weeks longer. But it will make me happy to just know we’re in the “right” season to ask the question without seeming foolish. I’ll check the weather daily, crossing what’s left of my Hanky Panky for luck. I will miss Summer, but I am eagerly awaiting the wearin’ o’ the first Cape o’ the Day since April.

Eat, drink, and be merry, my friends, for tomorrow we go back to the grind. And it’s possible it’ll be cool enough outside for me to comfortably wear a cape to said grind.

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A Lazy Sunday

In fact, it’s such a lazy Sunday I’m only seeing in black-and-white. Or I’m just watching PERRY MASON, who happens to be showing off our Bow Tie o’ the Day. Perry is normally a tie guy, but he’s at a fancy art gallery party in this episode. Raymond Burr can wear a tux and bow tie to my house any time he’s able. Of course, he’s dead, so I don’t have to worry about what to feed him if he drops in.

I’ve been a huge PERRY MASON fan from about the minute I was born. The black-and-white presentation is part of its charm to me. And the characters! I’d go out with Hamilton Burger just to call him Ham Burger. Paul Drake is the suave-est wearer o’ sport coats I’ve seen on the small screen. And Perry and Della have wocka wocka chemistry going on. I could rave on about the show forever.

I’ve told Suzanne that if I’m ever in a coma she’s supposed to make sure the television is on 24/7 in my hospital room, just in case I can hear it. And the television is to play my fave tv shows constantly until I wake up from my coma or I die. PERRY MASON is first on the list of my approved coma-watching-worthy shows.

I’d round out my coma-TV list with COLUMBO, HILL STREET BLUES, THE CLOSER, MAJOR CRIMES, THE WIRE, HOMICIDE, IN PLAIN SIGHT, MOTIVE, and all the LAW & ORDER’s. And I’m sure I’ll waste plenty more time coming up with more shows for the coma-TV list.

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My Memory Mostly Works

Bow Tie o’ the Day and I will give this our best shot, and I think we’ll get most of these 1974 Delta Elementary 4th Graders identified.

Back row, left to right: Kendall Topham, Tim Topham, Darlene Church, Tom Ashby, Me, Terilyn Anderson, Richard Porter, Preston Eliason.

Middle row, left to right: Dan Hughes, PJ Clayton, Phyllis Christensen, Vicki Farthing, Sandy Finlinson, Stephanie Smith, Thayne Hardy, Ron Moody.

Bottom row, left to right: Janet Eliason, ? Lovell, Sharon Jones, Richard Jacobson, ??, ??, Valinda Jensen, Wendy Walker, Mrs. Elaine Knight.

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In 4th Grade, We Were Dorky

1974. I doubt any Bow Tie o’ the Day could redeem me from my own personal 4th Grade dorkiness. I mean, check out my developing unibrow. I’ve also got my first crop of zits beginning to pop out on my chin. Bad hair, bad teeth. Yup, ’tis I. I think Mom had made my shirt, so that wasn’t dorky.

The class photo shows that even my eyes are dorky at this age. Are my eyes mostly closed? Mostly open? Let’s split the difference and call my eyes “clospen” in the class pic. Have fun trying to name each of these souls in Mrs. Knight’s class. List ’em in the comments. Correct each other’s wrong guesses. This identification can be tricky because, although this is a Class of ’82, 4th Grade photo, we housed a number of Class of ’83, 3rd Graders in our class all year. Good luck recognizing our dorky selves.

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Gracie’s First Holy War: Before And After

Grace Anne Blackwelder stepped up her game with her fashion choices for the Ute v. Cougar rivalry game. Her bigly head Bow Tie o’ the Day put the blue BYU cherry on top of Her Highness’ noggin. Gracie knows how to dress for a Holy War– even though she’d never seen one until last night. She’s got kind of a flapper style in her, I think.

I wasn’t there to watch the game with Gracie and her family, but I imagine she cheered mightily in her Y-wear for the Cougars in their valiant, but losing, effort. I’m sure Bishop Travis and Bishopette Collette have indoctrinated her in BYU cheers and songs from Day 1. That’s part of their job as Cougar parents. I’m glad the U won, but I do feel bad Gracie had to experience a football loss.

I’m sure Gracie’s parents helped her get over the loss. I’m sure they put the whole thing into perspective for her. I can hear Bishop Travis and Bishopette Collette explain the up’s and down’s of life to our disappointed little Grace. They probably explained to her, through her overwrought wailing, that we can’t always win. And I am also confident Dad Trav regaled his wee girl with tales of BYU wins from past rivalry games. (He has a looooong memory, eh?)

I call the last photo in this bunch “Grace-ious In Defeat, Sort Of” or “Grace Is A Baby About Losing.” Her scrunched up face speaks volumes.

BTW Thanks to Bishopette Collette for keeping me in the Gracie loop, and for letting me re-post their Gracie pix when I run out of my own.

DOH!