Here’s how it looks to play the Bow Tie o’ the Day version of WHERE’S WALDO? in my neighborhood.
The Pandemic Games
Playing With Post-it Notes In A Pandemic
I’m on official quarantine until I get the results of my COVID-19 test in the next day or two. After I drove to Farmington to take the test this morning, I came home to an empty house for the first time since mid-March—because today was Suzanne’s first day back to work at the office. I decided to throw caution to the wind, and be the baddest bad I can think to be. I’m free!!! No more supervision!!! I’ve been a civilized, quiet camper in the house with Suzanne doing her job at home all these weeks. I have reined in my whims so I wouldn’t interrupt her scrupulous brainwork or any of her Zoom/Teams/FaceTime/etc. meetings. Today, I was finally free to turn up my music to decibel levels I could hear without my hearing aids.
That kept me interested for about 25 minutes. I tried really hard to come up with a gazillion wacky, house-based plans I could play out while unchaperoned and in quarantine—you know, things I haven’t been able to do with Suzanne here to keep an eye on me all day. But I couldn’t think of anything I want to do that I can’t do with her here to keep me in check. Maybe I’m just boring today. I did, however, break out the “good” Post-it Notes and go wild.
FYI If you are an office product aficionado like I am, you know exactly what I mean about the “good” Post-it Notes. They are the ones you rarely use because they are so cool you never want to run out of them. They are like the “good” staples (colored) or the “good” paper clips (coated and colored). I could go on about the “good” tape, pens, file folders, paper, and etc. But I won’t. Not right now anyway. Suzanne will be home from work in 10 minutes, and I have to come up with a believable reason for why I had time to play with Post-it Notes but couldn’t get the dishes done.
Tested
Well, I have an in-office pain specialist appointment in SLC in a few days, but before I’m allowed to actually enter the office, I am required to take a COVID-19 test. So this morning, I threw on a mustache wood Bow Tie o’ the Day, and I managed to wrangle Skitter into the car with me for a drive to the Farmington Station U of U Hospital, where they have drive-thru COVID-19 testing. Skitter and I sang Lumineers songs together in the car while waiting in line, and she was very brave. She even held my hand through the entire drive-thru testing process.
The testing itself was a shock to my system—only because I didn’t know it was going to be done quite that far up my nose. Ever had a really long toothpick shoved all the way up your nose for exactly 5 seconds? The stick may have been only about the circumference of a toothpick, but when it’s poked up your nose for 5 seconds it feels like an angry ponderosa pine.
I get the results in 24-48 hours. Kudos to the U of U Hospital folks performing the tests. The process was streamlined and professional. The testers also liked my mask.
Proud To Be
Not even a pandemic can keep me and Bow Tie o’ the Day from extending our sincere gratitude to the women and men who served ‘Merica with honor and principle, for little ol’ me and little ol’ you. TIE O’ THE DAY gives thanks.
A Long Weekend? I Thought That’s What We’ve Been Having For The Last 2 Months
Just sittin’ around waiting for the three-day weekend to begin. Got a pocket square which matches Bow Tie o’ the Day, as well as a tank top pocket to hold it.
We don’t have any specific plans set for the weekend yet, but you know I’ll come up with something post-worthy. What I really want to do this weekend is drive to Delta and kidnap Mom from the care center for a couple of hours, and take her up to visit Dad’s grave—where she can pretend to be mad at him, as she demands him to “get the Hellen up from under that awesome headstone.” But breaking Mom out of lockdown isn’t in the cards this year.
I am not a gal who enjoys fighting my way through mobs of folks, even when we aren’t in the midst of a pandemic, so I pay my respects at cemeteries on any day that’s not Memorial Day. It’s too people-y on that day. I have, however, always been a Memorial Day lookie-loo who drives by cemeteries to see the graves all gussied-up, but from a bigly distance. I suppose you could say that doing cemetery drive-by’s is my own tradition of Memorial Day social distancing.
When In Doubt, Wear A Hat
Lavender Bow Tie o’ the Day knows a swell hat can win you lots of admirers. The dapper-er the hat, the groovier. Aside from baseball caps and cowboy hats, we are not a varied hat-wearing culture. In fact, ‘Mericans are largely a hatless people. I vote for immediate change. Go buy yourself an audacious hat. Wear it everywhere you go. Wear it with your mask. Flaunt its pizazz. Let it be your crown.
I’m As Tough As My Legs Are Fish-belly White
Teensy Bow Tie o’ the Day comes to us in a photo from a LAGOON visit a couple of years ago. I like this photo because it not only has a bigly tooth in it, but it illustrates how laughable I can sometimes look when I try to be tough. Me trying to intimidate with my ripped self can come off looking more like me trying to resemble a cartoon character. I’m an uber-resilient broad—as strong as they come. But being all in-your-face pugilistic does not match my deep, bipolar, American soul. Oh, I have to admit I can rustle up some truly piercing faces when it’s absolutely necessary. If you’re a teacher or a parent or a spouse, if you have any chance of surviving your duties, you MUST have a quiver full of faces which will wordlessly get your point across to whoever it is you’re trying to reach.
You know that thing about how some people have eyes in the back of their heads, cuz they somehow see everything that goes on anywhere in their vicinity? The back of my head really does. I see everything, even if it’s in the next room. I apparently have the ability to conjure up more than one I’m-all-business-so-knock-it-off face in the back of my head. I developed and honed such back-o’-the-head faces while teaching in Baltimore, strictly as a method of survival. You have to have those “looks” to quiet a rowdy class, nip trouble in the bud, and to successfully break up physical altercations without getting clocked yourself. But my tough glares bear no resemblance to what I’m all about. Fight Club R Not I.
Selfie Me This
#stuckathometoolong #takeapictureitwilllastlonger #strikeabowtieothedaypose #wheredidallthevintagecamerasgotodie #aselfieisworthathousandwords #timeforahairscut
It’s A Paisley Day In The Neighborhood
Once again, it is my fashion honor to proclaim that paisley is one of The Style Wonders of the World—right up there with argyle and polka dots. I’m sure you can tell from how often you’ve heard me rave about it, that paisley has given deep meaning to my life. I can’t explain it. It’s just such a cool design. In a world full of pandemics and hate, paisley never lets me down. Maybe that’s a bit of an overstatement, but I’m stickin’ to it.
Paisley wood Bow Tie o’ the Day is but one more piece of proof for your eyes that paisley rules. Bow Tie is the newest acquisition in my collection, and I’m sure there will be more paisley pieces to come. Even though I feel like I’m pretty much done building up my neckwear collection, there will always be room for one more paisley-pattern item. A paisle (singular for “paisley”) a day, keeps my bipolarity away. Okay, that clearly was hyperbole.
Called Up The Doctor, And The Doctor Said
Here I sit, with Bow Tie o’ the Day, in my own loft. I am in my pain doc’s “waiting room” on my laptop, waiting for my doc to show up to my online appointment. Of all the pandemic-related life adjustments that I have personally had to make, the virtual doc appointments have been a pleasant surprise. It has been a pleasure to not have to spend time driving to and from doctor appointments. It takes longer to drive to doc appointments than it takes to have the appointment itself. It worked especially well for my crazy head therapy appointment, which is normally a one-hour drive each way, for a 30-minute appointment. For my last crazy head therapy appointment, which was online, I spent 5 minutes in the virtual waiting room, then chatted with my doc for 30 minutes, and that was that. Saved time, saved gas, saved possible road rage.
Of course, there are some doc appointments that just don’t work online. For example, I had an appointment scheduled with a plastic surgeon in April—to look into getting a breast reduction. It took me forever to get an appointment with this particular doctor. I waited months. And then a week before my scheduled April appointment, I got a call from the plastic surgeon’s office, saying they weren’t doing in-office visits. They wanted to do a Zoom appointment, or reschedule for a few months down the road. How do I put this? I felt like a televisit wouldn’t capture all the relevant information. Plus, going topless online, even for a medical exam, even for a valid medical reason, just ain’t my thing. Yes, I’ve visited a nude beach or two in my day, but this feels to me like a whole different can o’ worms.