Better Than Christmas Morning

Suzanne and I had some Christmas presents to deliver to Bishop Travis and Bishopette Collette—and Gracie, too—so we drove to Provo a few days after Christmas, when the season had settled down for everyone. We and our Face Masks o’ the Day were treated to an hour of good—though mildly muffled—conversation with Gracie’s parents, and a live performance of The Gracie Show.

Skitter visited the Blackwelder’s with us. It was the first time Skitter and Grace had met, and their encounter was a success. Gracie was enamored with the mutt, and Skitter was willing to let Amazing Grace shower her with up-close, pokey, hands-on attention that only a kid can give. Skitter basked in it. In fact, I didn’t ever see Skitter vibrate around Grace. Well, I guess that’s not quite true. Gracie has a slide in her room, on which she performed amusing tricks for us. Skitter begged me to let her go down the slide a few times to impress The Divine Miss Grace. Of course, I helped Skitter be brave to accomplish the scary feat. Let me tell you, Skitter vibrated all the way down the slide three times, much to Gracie’s delight.

Bishopette Collette later texted that Grace talked about Skitter long after we had gone home. When Skitter heard that, she asked me to teach her to wink. She wanted me to snap a photo of her winking to send to Gracie, and said photo is included here.

BTW Holiday Tie o’ the Day was a hit with Grace. I showed Gracie how to turn on the reindeer’s flashing red nose and Christmas music by pushing the fire flames on the tie. She pushed it as many times as you’d expect a toddler to push a button that turned on a flashing red light and Christmas music. The battery was dead by the time we left. I loved every minute of the visit.

My New Year’s Eve Attire

I did dress up a tad formally for our pandemic New Year’s party at home—with no guests. But I walked around the house in my minimally formal finery for only as long as it took for me to snap this photo of me and my three holiday Bow Ties o’ the Last Day o’ 2020. The best thing about 2020 was being able to spend so many days in pajamas.

#wearthedangmask #masksareourlifesavingfriends #dontfearthedangmask #wearingamaskdoesnottakeawayyourcivilrights #wearingamaskhelpsusstayalivetoenjoyourcivilrights #wearingamaskhelpsthepeoplearoundyounotdiefromthecoronavirusyoumightbeinfectedwithwithoutevenknowingyouhaveit

Holiday Posts Inventory

Drum roll, please!

Helen’s bigly Holiday Tie Tally: 209 Neckties. 93 Bow Ties. (In a few upcoming photos you will see me and Skitter in more holiday ties. They were snapped over the holidays, but I have already included the neckwear in this final tally.)

Helen’s Holiday Face Mask Tally: 9. (I didn’t make much of an investment in Christmas face masks, cuz I hope we won’t be needing them next X-mas season.)

Skitter’s Holiday Tie Tally: 25 Neckties. 1 Bow Tie.

Here’s the rest of what I utilized to bring y’all TIE O’ THE DAY’s jolly neckwear o’ 2020: 2 leg lamps. 3 Charlie Brown Christmas trees. 1 Old Man bobblehead. 1 Ralphie bobblehead. 5 festive jackets. 4 X-mas-themed, button-down shirts. 1 lighted antler headband. 1 Santa hat. 1 Bah Humbug hat. 1 Santa baseball cap. 1 lighted turkey hat. 1 pair of Grinch pajama bottoms. 3 pairs of obnoxious X-mas leggings. 1 ugly sweater. 3 “ugly sweater”-style, long-sleeved t-shirts. 1 gingerbread person t-shirt. 1 redneck elf t-shirt. 1, 3-D turkey necktie. 1 bow tie body thong. 1 red-nosed reindeer body thong. 1 blow-up Santa beard. AND most importantly, 2 milkweed pod, Nativity scene Christmas tree ornaments made by my grandma, Momo, at least 50 years ago.

Whew! This has been an exhausting blast!

I’m Still Counting

I sincerely meant to post the final Holiday Tie Tally today, but it’s a no-go. First, I slept until noon, which I never do—except today, apparently. And then, real life things (as opposed to TIE O’ THE DAY things) that needed to be dealt with kept coming up. I’m sure you know how that goes. So anyhoo… It was Judy O’ Clock before I was able to even start gathering all the holiday neckwear and props together for their bigly, annual tie-family photo. Currently, I’m still staging snapshots, taking roll, folding, preparing the off-season storage for my neckwear friends, and making all the necessary calculations for the tally announcement. I’m aiming to post the final numbers tomorrow.

For now, though, please enjoy a photo of the one Christmas Bow Tie o’ The Day and the 12 Christmas Ties o’ the Day that I hadn’t yet worn for y’all this year. Also, enjoy a few close-ups of some of these last ties. Don’t miss the Ralphie bobblehead beside Bow Tie.

BTW I can’t simply add these numbers to the current tally and come up with the total sum of all ties, because there are still photos of me wearing festive neckwear during the holidays, which you have not yet seen. And I must add those to the total too.

Almost-the-Total Holiday Tie Tally: 207 Neckties. 89 Bow Ties.

No, You Cannot Unsee It

Hey! Remember when an anonymous reader sent me this “formal” Bow-Tie-o’-the-Day-connected-to-the-thong thing two years ago? Well, if you don’t recall that event, you’ll surely never forget it now. I thought it would be a great New Year’s Eve party outfit—as long as I had another outfit under it.

Remember, my pals, to play safely tonight. Mask yourselves and drive sober. I want to have you around for many New Year’s Evenings to come. Be well. Peace to us all. 🍾☮️

BTW Stay tuned for the final Holiday Tie Tally tomorrow. You will indeed see the last o’ the holiday neckwear.

More Miscellany O’ Christmas Neckwear

Bow Tie o’ the Day stars red and green…stars. My middle Tie o’ the Day presents snow falling on Charlie Brown and Snoopy as they ride downhill together on a sled. The remaining four Ties o’ the Day give us some active holiday penguins to gaze upon. My personal fave is the tie upon which we see penguins kicking field goals through the “goal posts” of a reindeer’s antlers.

I am running out of time to show off the balance of my festive neckwear, and I already have the neckwear for my New Year’s Eve posts set aside. That leaves me with tomorrow and New Year’s Day to present the remainder of my holiday collection. I sincerely hope I can do it. As much as I enjoy the Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa season, I am jonesing to wear a regular, everyday piece of neckwear. And by “regular,” I mean regular in terms of my own version of regular. 🎀

Holiday Tie Tally: 195 Neckties. 75 Bow Ties.

To Be Merry, Or To Humbug It

Bow Tie o’ the Day sports a simple message of “Merry Christmas.” The 6 Ties o’ the Day are a bit more divided in their expressions about the holiday season. I am a “Merry Christmas” sort, which is probably obvious by my expansive X-mas neckwear collection, but I am also a Grinch-lovin,’ “Bah Humbug” sort of gal when I’m particularly ironic. Especially around Christmas, I must admit I have an even lower-than-usual tolerance for people acting hateful and petty to each other. That kind of behavior really roils the true, thin slice o’ humbug in my soul, in any season. I hate when that happens. In this annual season of giving and striving for peace, I often worry less about the need to—as the saying goes—”put Christ back in Christmas,” and more about the need to put Christ back in Christians. Kindness changes the weather of every room it’s in. Let us be the good weather, folks. End of sermon.

Holiday Tie Tally: 190 Neckties. 74 Bow Ties.

Holiday Face Mask Tally still stands at 9, cuz I’ve worn this one before.

#wearthedangmaskalready

Our Pandemic Christmas

Our Christmas was low-key, but we managed to include all the usual important elements. We enjoyed gifts, and too much food, and a Zoom family-gathering. Suzanne gave us a gun safe for our recently acquired Beretta. She gave me two Echo Dots, so now I can say things like, “Alexa, create world peace,” to which Alexa replied, “Sorry, I’m not sure about that.” So then I asked Alexa to play Band of Horses songs, which she gladly did.

Suzanne wanted a lighted cutting mat for her sewing and crafting, so Santa gave her that. Santa also gave her a puzzle of Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s image and her famous dissents. The puzzle is entirely words. That oughta be difficult and time-consuming to put together, which will keep us both out of trouble. Oh, and I gave her the tiniest notebook I’ve ever seen: It’s smaller than a matchbook. I think it was her favorite gift. (Note to self: Next year for Christmas, save yourself some big bucks by giving Suzanne only a Munchkin notebook.)

I made a pork pot roast, Mom’s cheese bread, and Mom’s famous-in-Maryland green salad. We ate olives, and Suzanne-made cookies, and every chocolate we could find. We found a lot of chocolates. We didn’t even have room for the Red Button Eggnog ice cream, or the Dreyer’s Pumpkin Pie ice cream. The ice cream still waits in the freezer, for when our tummies have room for it. Trust me—the ice cream will not go to waste.

Later on Christmas Day, we joined Suzanne’s family’s Zoom get-together, for the most important part of our Christmas. It’s a family tradition that the family gathers in the afternoon, and Suzanne’s dad reads the story of Christ’s birth from the Bible, and then reads any story of his choosing which exemplifies the giving spirit of Christmas. This year, he read the O. Henry story, “The Gift of the Magi.” Hearing his voice as he read to us made it feel like a not-pandemic Christmas for a short while. And even on Zoom, excited kids were loudly playing and showing off in the very best way, further making it seem like a regular Christmas—if only for an hour or so. God bless us, every one.

Holiday Tie Tally: 184 Neckties. 73 Bow Ties.

Skitter’s Holiday Tie Tally: 22 Neckties.

I’m Wearing A Fireplace O’ The Day

Peace is kindness at rest. May you kind folks always have plenty of it. Jolly Christmas tidings to y’all, from TIE O’ THE DAY and the inhabitants of The Tie Room!

Holiday Tie Tally: 183 Neckties. 72 Bow Ties.

#hereamaskthereamaskeverywhereamask #peaceinthetieroom #festivekindness #kindfestiveness #elbowhugstoyouall #footshakestoyoutoo #icarryhandsanitizerinmypocketwithmychapstickandmyaachip