With Labor Day now behind us, summer 2021 is gone, too. As I was going through some files yesterday, I stumbled upon this photographic gem of me in the front yard of my family’s home. I was 14 that summer. I think the head in the corner of the pic belongs to my nephew, Ronnie, who would have been 2 at the time. I’ve never had to recognize him by just his head before, but I’m almost certain this shaded noggin belongs to him. The Bow Tie o’ the Day I’ve drawn on my neck here is further proof that every look is vastly improved with the right neckwear.
I’ve had some new earrings I’ve been wanting to try out on a Saturday night, and yesterday Suzanne sent me a text from upstairs that said we were going to SLC to dinner for the evening. Finally, I had a place to wear my piggie earrings out on the town for all to see. I took an up-close pic of the chubby earrings so y’all can see both the front and back of my tiny pink friends. Since we haven’t been out a lot lately, I decided to be as formal and black tie-y as I get—with my fave black shirt (the oldest shirt I own, from the 80’s) and my black-background flip-flop Bow Tie o’ the Evening. Likewise, I went black vinyl with my record album Face Mask o’ the Evening.
Suzanne had made reservations for us at PAGO, where we filled up on some of our favorite foods. I almost ordered the pork chop, just to maintain the piggie-theme of the night, but I ended up opting for the steak. Suzanne, of course, ordered the scallops. We are very predictable sometimes. Suzanne chose a sauvignon blanc to drink, which she said was tasterrific, and I can verify that her wine smelled nummy and made my mouth water. I sometimes wonder if Suzanne gets weary of my sniffing her wine selections, but it’s not like I’m going to quit doing it, so we both might as well get over it if it’s a problem. I think Suzanne will agree that probably our best discovery of the night was an appetizer made with beets, strawberries, goat cheese, and candied quinoa. The true gem within the appetizer was the pickled strawberries. We didn’t know pickled strawberries even existed, and now we will never forget they do. We will be ordering them at PAGO again, soon.
This is one of my fave wood Bow Ties o’ the Day. I tend to wear it when I’m on vacation. It helps me see the sights better. I have missed wearing it since the pandemic began, which is when we quit vacationing, of course. Today, I decided to dust Bow Tie off and make some plans. I’m looking into some far away escapades I’m sure I’ll tell y’all about in the near future.
Last evening, we had one HAIL of a late-summer thunderstorm! It was wet, and loud, and flashy, and the petrichor smell was as wonderful as it has ever been. The hail was itself a plunking wonder on the outdoor furniture. We paid a lot of attention to the stormy shebang because Skitter was not just skittish about the storm: Skitter was petrified into a ball in her bed. I covered her with her blanket and explained to her that any doggie blanket made by Suzanne is impenetrable by both bad weather and monsters, so she would be completely safe under it. I think her brain believed me, but her thunder-hearing, hail-hearing ears were skeptical. The storm didn’t cause any real damage, but it managed to cause our DirecTV to lose its signal even before the first raindrop fell. I am always mystified that the tv signal can travel all the way to and from satellites in space with no problem, but it can’t make it through raindrops and snowflakes. 📺⛈☔️
For the most part, I have worked my way through yesterday’s anger at my surgery being postponed due to an influx of COVID-19 patients at Huntsman. I am now skulking my way through the deep puddles of merely disappointment and disillusion. It’s funny how much I don’t want to have surgery at all, yet I feel disheartened that I can’t have it as planned. Before I got the news about surgery being postponed, I was already in not-happy shape. A few days ago I had learned that Mom has entered a new phase of her life: she is now on oxygen 24/7 and will be doing most of her remaining earthly travel by wheelchair. She is generally well for being almost-91, and she is still generally her joyous, feisty, old broad self. But her new situation is yet another move closer toward her being reunited with Dad. We know it, and she knows it. Even I get tired of the phrase, “circle of life,” but that’s the truth of what it is. Yeah, I guess you could say this has not been my favorite week of my life.
It’s a good thing I have TIE O’ THE DAY to play around with. It’s the perfect distraction for me— a diversion from all things worrisome, painful, or downright boring. You’ve seen some of my wood bow ties which attach to collarless shirts by way of two magnets. They work brilliantly as bow ties for t-shirts. Today, I did some experimenting with what else I can attach with a magnet to create my own original Bow Ties o’ the Day. Here are a few bow ties I came up with, which I thought you might enjoy seeing.
Tiny, pink coin purse Bow Tie o’ the Day, in case I find a penny on the ground.
Paper clips Bow Tie o’ the Day, in case I need to organize some papers.
Steak knife Bow Tie o’ the Day, in case I run into a thick steak during my travels.
Cowboy-hat-and-red-bandana mini stapler Bow Tie o’ the Day, in case I want to put up a flyer on a cork board or electrical pole.
Rotary cutter Bow Tie o’ the Day, in case I get literally wrapped-up in a bolt of aggressive fabric and need to escape.
Disposable razor Bow Tie o’ the Day, in case I suddenly need to shave my white legs.
EpiPen Bow Tie o’ the Day, in case I run into a bee’s stinger.
Altoids Bow Tie o’ the Day, in case I am afraid of my own breath.
My appointment at Huntsman today was with the folks who will be administering anesthesia to me during my surgery. I want to keep anyone who has anything to do with my surgery happy—especially the anesthesia team. I want to keep them very, very happy. I figured the best way to keep them amused was to wear one of my most prized creative Bow Ties o’ the Day: my Star Wars-y Legos bow tie. I did my best to make a good first impression on them. I met with three different medical professionals during my single appointment, and I can verify that they all snickered and guffawed at Bow Tie. They each quizzed me about my neckwear collection, and seemed to understand most of my humor. I’m sure they will remember me and do their best to keep me conked out through the whole operation. And that was my goal when I got dressed this morning.
Since TIE O’ THE DAY will be without my full services for a couple of weeks after my surgery this coming Thursday, I’ve asked Suzanne and Skitter to assist me temporarily. I’ve been training them about the in’s and outs’s of doing my posting job on the tblog—so y’all won’t miss my adventures at Huntsman and whatever my first few days of recovery are like. (If you have surmised that I have already selected and packed the neckwear I’m taking to the hospital for my week-or-so-long stay, you are correct.)
Skitter will likely do most of the writing for the posts, while Suzanne will take over the photography duties. Suzanne is a fine taker o’ pictures. We’ve had a couple of her “Spain” photographs framed and hung on the walls for decades. I’m currently schooling her about how to properly take TIE O’ THE DAY photographs. She got the shot right in only one of these two pix of me getting ready to enter the bigly doughnut for my CT scan yesterday. You see, the number one rule of shooting TO’TD photos is to make sure the tie/bow tie is visible in each shot for readers to see. The neckwear must always be a star. The first picture you see here follows this rule, while the second one doesn’t cut the TIE O’ THE DAY mustard. However, Suzanne’s a super-smart gal, so I’m confident she’ll figure out how to follow the main TO’TD snapshot rule.
With only a week until my surgery, I find myself being busier than ever with tidying up and doing errands—so I won’t have to worry about life around the house running smoothly while I’m out of commission for a few weeks.
Today, Bow Tie o’ the Day and I had to drive to Farmington Health Center to pick up the contrast goop I must drink tomorrow morning before my pre-surgery CT Scan at 10:30 AM. Tomorrow, after my scan, I drive to Huntsman Cancer Hospital to meet with my Cranky Hanky Panky surgeon. After that appointment, I will head to the lab, where I will have to give a river of blood to the lab personnel so they can assess whatever it is they have to assess before I can get cut open properly next week. And when I finally get back home from SLC tomorrow afternoon, my doctor-y day still won’t be done. I will have to flip open my laptop in order to have a virtual appointment with my ERCP doctor, so I can get his pre-surgery input. It’s gonna be a long medical Friday for me. Fortunately, my better half is taking off work tomorrow to be by my side while I do all these have-to-do’s I don’t want to do at all. Having Suzanne with me guarantees that we will both be just fine.
I’m sure you’ve all experienced how small tasks sometimes become much more complicated and time-consuming than they should be. This morning, for example, I had to set up a new app on my laptop, in order to have a virtual appointment with with my longtime pain doctor at the U of U, Dr. Bow (not her real name, but she’s loved my bow ties for years). The U has re-vamped how they are conducting virtual doctor appointments, which requires me to use this new app. Installing an app can take only seconds, but for technical reasons I don’t care to fully understand, my laptop was having none of it. It would not download the new app, no matter what swear word I thought in my head.
I tried everything I could think of. I called tech support to aid my efforts. After I followed a few of his suggestions with no success, the tech finally gave up. I did not. I kept troubleshooting. Finally, after more than an hour, I tried the thing that rarely makes any sense, but often works: I turned off my laptop and let it just sit there for about ten minutes. I did the equivalent of unplugging it. And sure enough, after powering it up again, the very first time I re-tried downloading the app I needed, it worked. I don’t know why I resist unplugging a device as the very first fix of whatever problem it has, but I do. I could save myself plenty of time by just unplugging the offending gadget first, but it somehow feels like unplugging is admitting intellectual defeat. It’s like saying, “I’m too stoopid to figure out the actual problem and its accompanying solution.” I think that from now on I’m going to make a conscious effort to be stoopid about my technology problems: I’m going to unplug first, and ask questions later.
Anyhoo… I wore a black and silver, paisley Bow Tie o’ the Day for my virtual appointment. It popped out nicely from my multi-colored paisley-covered Shirt o’ the Day. Dr. Bow and her assistant both commented on how “alive” my shirt and bow tie looked together. When you’re dealing with doctors, hearing the word “alive” is always better than hearing its opposite.
I donned a blue-polka-dotted orange Bow Tie o’ the Day and Skitter was wearing her avocados Tie o’ the Day (which you can’t see cuz it’s covered by her blankets in this photo), and we headed to Delta to see Mom last Friday. Suzanne managed to get the day off work, so she drove us to our destination.
When we got to the care center, folks were getting on the center’s little bus for a short outing. I could see Mom was already in the front seat, ready to see the sights. She had no idea we were there. I could have caught the group before they headed out, but since the pandemic began, the Millard Care and Rehab residents haven’t ventured out until recently. I did not want to keep Mom from a drive with her current neighbors, so Suzanne and I said to each other at the very same time, in almost the same exact words, “While we’re waiting for Mom to come back from her ride, we should go to Mom’s Crafts!” Mom’s Crafts is Suzanne’s idea of Heaven. Because Suzanne always spends a lot of $$$ there, Mom’s Crafts is also my idea of a depleted bank account.😜 So Suzanne bought a ton o’ fabric, and we both got to say “howdy” to Kyla. Mom’s Crafts is always a good time. Even Skitter was grooving about it. Skitter told me she wants Suzanne to teach her to sew, so she can shop for her own fabric at Mom’s Crafts and make her own doggie blankets. It’s gonna be a long and interesting winter, I can tell.
When we returned to the care center, the bus was already there, and Mom was already inside the building sitting with a pal at her table in the facility’s new fancy dining room. What a great space! I didn’t see Mom’s face as we were walking in her direction, cuz I was wrangling Skitter across the room and through the other residents, but Suzanne said Mom’s whole face beamed when she saw me. I was wearing my mask, and Mom had no idea I have shaved my head to the nubs, but she still managed to recognize me. I am always glad for that. It is something so basic, but it has become incredibly important to me now. I need Mom to know me. (So far, it was only that one instance when she didn’t recognize my voice on the phone.)
In Mom’s room, Skitter jumped up on her bed and curled right into Mom like she always does. Mom absentmindedly stroked Skitter throughout our visit, as is her usual way. Mom was in high spirits, as she always seems to be. She says she’s sleeping well—”like a log”— and she’s snoring well. This is true. She says she is in no pain. This used to be true until quite recently. But it’s not true anymore, and she will not admit it. She maintains her playfulness and penchant for humor. But she is also quieter than I have ever known her to be. We left her a stash of peanut butter Snickers and candy corn pumpkins. Mom is beyond pleased when we pretend on occasion that she doesn’t have to watch her sugar. 😉 We can’t wait for our next visit with her.
Our next door neighbors just had their first baby. It’s a boy! If you are a longtime reader of TIE O’ THE DAY, you know exactly what time it is when a bambino is hatched: it’s time—or it’s an excuse—for me to run to the baby section of the store to buy some BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE. (See the shelf right above my head in the photo.) For new baby’s, we always give a bundle of diapers, wipes, and BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE. Nobody wants the wee new creatures to have diaper rash. That is no way to start out in this world.
It’s amazing how many times I can work “BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE” into my everyday conversation whenever I want to. I can say to Skitter, “I’m heading to the store, and I have to go to the baby medicine section. I don’t mean to get too personal with you, Skitter, but do you need me to pick up some BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE for you while I’m there? I’m happy to do it.” Or I could go into Dick’s Market, where I already know they don’t have it, and ask a clerk, “Who can I talk to about the possibility of Dick’s Market maybe carrying BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE in the future?” Or Suzanne could be on the phone with her boss, and in the background, I can yell, “Suzanne, where did I leave the box of BOUDREAUX’S BUTT PASTE?” The product’s name is so starkly accurate and immaturely funny, and I am such an eternally obnoxious kid about it. This is why I limit my joking about it to only the day I’m putting together a new baby’s diaper-y gift.
