Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Bow Tie o’ the Day is a beachy, pastel green thing, posing with a wee Chardonnay bottle. I got this wine in Monterey for Suzanne, and she thought it was too cute to not haul home — empty, of course. I guesstimate the bottle holds three swallows of wine — not even enough to get a beach buzz. So I got Suzanne four of them. The bottle is plastic, so it is allowed the beach. Wine is not a temptation for me, but I still miss tasty microbrew beers. 🍺 🍷
I’m cozied-up in my pajamas, and my cold ears are wearing a hat Suzanne crocheted. I get compliments on the hat, but its floppiness ain’t me. CAUTION: Although Suzanne crochets wondrous hats, DO NOT ALLOW HER TO PUT ANY HAT ON HER HEAD! Your eyes will never recover. Her noggin isn’t misshapen or anything, but here’s the math: Suzanne + hat = LOOK AWAY!!! We’re watching LIVE PD tonight. That’s our go-to, weekend Date Night activity. LIVE PD is also the reason for these Cufflinks o’ the Day: handcuffs!
Tie/Bow Tie o’ the Day are evidence of a crime. It was committed on my behalf, by my better half. Apparently, my maniacal passion for ties has become a bad influence on the hallowed/haloed Suzanne. While she was in Southern Utah for work this week, she became a flat-out thief — just for me — when she stole these DO NOT DISTURB placards from her hotel room. Honestly, I’m glad she was bad. I’ll be hanging these on doorknobs of rooms I occupy wherever I go, especially My Tie Room!
Bigly, wood Bow Tie o’ the Evening was kind enough to accompany me to the Home Owners Association meeting. Bow Tie, Lapel Pin, Cufflinks, and Pocket Square ALL acted as my disguise. Mustaches will do that. A disguise is necessary cuz sometimes at these meetings, neighbors forget to love their neighbors. Especially regarding HOA budgets. Recently, some cars have been harassed. When I asked if the Board had discussed installing cameras, the guy next to me snapped, “Only if YOU pay for them!” Love you more, doofus! 💋
Tie o’ the Day clashes properly with Shirt, but I should’ve worn a bow tie. I’ve been climbing ladders to replace dead lightbulbs, and ties kinda get in the way. Cufflinks o’ the Day met their bigger, brighter counterparts. For them, seeing real lightbulbs must have seemed like seeing The Jolly Light Giant. I don’t change bulbs if Suzanne’s around. We have high ceilings, and she frets my tremors will toss me off the ladder. If I ever have to call her from the ER, I’m toast. 💡 🏥
Bow Tie o’ the Day is covered in superhero lightning bolts, while Cufflinks o’ the Day show a pop art interpretation of Batman’s sidekick, Robin. Suzanne will always be the superhero, and I will always be the sidekick. She went to St. George and Cedar City for work for a couple of days, and she will get home tonight. That’ll be good. A sidekick is kinda lost without their superhero. But how has she managed to get through her days without being surrounded by ties?
I dress by the Law O’ Clash, but Bow Tie o’ the Day and I are currently blending in with our outside environment. You can hardly find me in this photo, cuz I did so well dressing in white camouflage. I cause snow blindness. Yellow/gold Bow Tie adds the ultimate secret ingredient to my camo. Its color blends me in with the occasional spots o’ yellow snow Skitter and the other neighborhood pups leave behind on their daily missions. Am I a snow angel, or what?! 👼
Bow Tie o’ the Day is brought to you by my lovely, tuxedo-ed penguin pal. One of the few things I like about erranding in the snow is that I get to wear my loud Sloggers boots. Ok, so they’re gardening boots. But they’re warm AND stylish. Who doesn’t want to see cows on pink boots? I was visiting Delta a while back and I forgot to take my church/funeral shoes, to attend church. I had only my purple, dog-print Sloggers. That was a fun meeting! 👟 ⛪
Floppy Kentucky Bow Tie o’ the Day persuaded me to at least change into a fresh pair of sleepwear this evening. I couldn’t wear ‘Links o’ the Day, cuz I haven’t yet found pajama sleeves with cufflink buttonholes. I’m showing you these ‘links to hint about what I’ve been doing. Mostly, I’ve worked my little iPhone to its bare chips and bytes, by answering emails, texts, and calls. This way, I can pretend I accomplished tasks from my honey-do list, on a Pajama Day. 📱 📞
Bow Tie o’ the Day is covered in sorta kinda snowflake-looking flowers. Bow Tie declared a Pajama Day, and I’m not arguing. Although I’m not a fan of participating in any outdoor activity when it’s cold, I admit it’s thrilling to watch snow fall. Bow Tie and I sit in front of our tall windows, and we feel all dreamy, optimistic, and mellow. FYI This photo proves I felt obligated to create this post before I took time to get rid of my eye booger. I’m dedicated.