Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Bow Ties o’ the Day decorate this book which was crafted just for me, for my birthday. One of Suzanne’s Champagne Garden Club Gals, Jenny Williams, created this dandy piece of coolness for me to fill with drafts of my writing that might one day grow up into real poetry. Most good writing really does begin as bad, clunky, dead-end gibberish. This is a blank book for my nonsensical lines o’ blah, blah, blah. 🤓 Mom’s a blob in the background of this photo. She’s wrangling Skitter. 🤠
Bow Ties o’ the Day are giving a dark, 21-bow tie salute to my 100 ounce, tie-decorated mini keg. It’s headed to the recycling can, and it’s breaking my heart. Also, its demise has got all the neckwear discombobulated. My poor container for Diet Coke has a cracked straw, a cracked lid, and cracked innards. No catastrophe destroyed it. My mini keg– my constant companion, my sippy cup– simply wore out. I hate when that happens. I gotta search for a new tie-d barrel. AND MOM’S HERE!
Bow Tie o’ the Day gets my truck! In return, Hombre gets spiffied! When Mom quit driving, her car became Gary’s– cuz his decades-old Babe Magnet is on its last tires, almost to the point of unfixable-ness. And Gary MUST drive a hot car. He put a bunch o’ money into doctoring up Mom’s, and it is now born again– on deck to become the next Babe Magnet. I asked my family, and Mom and my siblings agreed it was natural that I’d inherit Mom’s license plates. 😃
Diamond-point Bow Tie o’ the Day persuaded me to show my troll hair. All that blood rushing to my head made me light-headed. To recover, I had to sit on my butt and watch the I.D. channel for 3 straight hours. Nobody has to twist my arm to watch I.D.. I’m mesmerized by that crime-y channel and its “monotonous murder,” which is what we call it. I have bigly fits when I watch an entire show that ends with no solution to the crime. Waste o’ my time! Grrrrrrrr!!! 😠 😡
Bow Tie o’ the Day and I had a travel day, accompanied by our pink Cadillac ‘Links. Bow Tie is a wood-looking, but acrylic, little piece– cut from flooring. How cool is that? We’re gonna rip up our living room carpet soon, and we’ll be installing wood laminate. Bow Tie gave me a fantabulous idea: I wanna cut the laminate into tie and bow tie shapes and styles, and then install them as our new floor. My tootsies would never stop dancing on a tie floor. 👯 🕺 💃
I’m feeling rich, so Bow Tie o’ the Day sports a bling-y second bow tie and corner points. When I say I’m rich, I don’t mean in the wallet way. I mean “rich” in the blessings way. A cozy house with big windows, an old jalopy of a truck, and my fancy ties. Among other things. And I have my Suzanne. I can’t begin to express how rich she makes my life– even though she says this hat makes my head look like it’s wearing a condom. 🙄
Raise your glass o’ green beer to the gaggle of Bow Ties o’ the Day on this St. Patrick’s Day evening! We’re just sitting here on the loveseat, drinking FRESCA and DIET COKE, and watching LIVE PD. Call us if you need a designated driver. Seriously. PM me. It might take me hours to get to where you are, but I’ll be there to fetch ya. 🤠 🍻 Party safely! But party on!
Bow Tie o’ the Day is the cherry atop one of the finest clash fashion outfits I’ve concocted recently. And Cufflinks o’ the Day fit with me singing every Jimmy Buffett song I can think of, as I dust baseboards and vacuum the stairs. I’m completely in that sandy, ocean-y mood. MARGARITAVILLE isn’t one of my fave Jimmy songs, but I have been to many wedding receptions where, when it is played, everybody hits the dance floor. Young, old, and in-between. ⛵ ⚓ The song inspires Happy-A-Rama feet! 👣
I thought I heard Skitter rummaging through the chews in her toy box, but when she found me, it was clear she had been scouring the St. Paddy’s Day tie and prop box. I don’t mind when she plays dress up, so here she is trying to take a nap in Bow Ties o’ the Day treasures she managed to grab. I didn’t see Skitter actually sip any green beer, but she has peed a bigly flood of extra-bright yellow snow across the yard today. 🍀 🍺 ☘
Bow Tie o’ the Day reminds us that polka dots work with any style. ‘Links o’ the Day symbolize that this is the first year the must-wear-glasses-to-drive restriction is on my driver’s license. Today’s task is to glide through the snow on mundane errands, in my beloved Vonnegut Grace Vibe. I have a question first. Why can there be eight inches of snow on my satellite dish, with no signal problems, but five flakes can sometimes block the signal, sending me climbing the ladder with a broom?