Called Up The Doctor, And The Doctor Said

Here I sit, with Bow Tie o’ the Day, in my own loft. I am in my pain doc’s “waiting room” on my laptop, waiting for my doc to show up to my online appointment. Of all the pandemic-related life adjustments that I have personally had to make, the virtual doc appointments have been a pleasant surprise. It has been a pleasure to not have to spend time driving to and from doctor appointments. It takes longer to drive to doc appointments than it takes to have the appointment itself. It worked especially well for my crazy head therapy appointment, which is normally a one-hour drive each way, for a 30-minute appointment. For my last crazy head therapy appointment, which was online, I spent 5 minutes in the virtual waiting room, then chatted with my doc for 30 minutes, and that was that. Saved time, saved gas, saved possible road rage.

Of course, there are some doc appointments that just don’t work online. For example, I had an appointment scheduled with a plastic surgeon in April—to look into getting a breast reduction. It took me forever to get an appointment with this particular doctor. I waited months. And then a week before my scheduled April appointment, I got a call from the plastic surgeon’s office, saying they weren’t doing in-office visits. They wanted to do a Zoom appointment, or reschedule for a few months down the road. How do I put this? I felt like a televisit wouldn’t capture all the relevant information. Plus, going topless online, even for a medical exam, even for a valid medical reason, just ain’t my thing. Yes, I’ve visited a nude beach or two in my day, but this feels to me like a whole different can o’ worms.

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