Bow Tie o’ the Day has been a bad bow tie, and it must go to the dump. I discovered it today, laying crumpled beneath shelves in the garage. It is so stinky I had to seal it in a biohazard bag before I could properly dispose of it in the garbage can. I don’t know exactly what trouble it got itself into, but y’all should consider yourself lucky this post is not a scratch-n-sniff. Bow Tie reeks of some kind of nauseatingly malodorous waywardness. If I were pressed to describe the critter’s rotting stench I would say it smells like a triple cross between day-old fish guts, dog teeth tartar, and an ingrown toenail infection. I don’t even want to speculate about the possibilities of what, where and/or how Bow Tie’s tragic olfactory tragedy came about—other than to say that somehow Bow Tie got restless and escaped from the Tie Room, only to eventually come to its nose-offending demise on the garage floor, in a cobwebbed corner. I’m infinitely fascinated by the eventful lives of all my neckwear, but I think I’m glad I don’t know the specific story of how this once-promising little darling came to its sorry stenchification.
Rest In Peace, my ill-fated tiny fashion accessory! I shall never forget you. Especially your rancid scent.👃 R. I. P., P. U.