Bow Tie o’ the Day is a jolly red and green plaid diamond point. Meanwhile, back at the Tie Ranch in the Tie Room, I found these four Ties o’ the Day to represent four things I want for Christmas, but I know I have zero chance of receiving. First, I know I’m not getting a trip to anywhere with palm trees for X-mas this year. I won’t be wearing any of my Hawaiian shirts. I will have to content myself with mere memories of my feet in sand and surf from vacations o’ the past. Maybe next year.
I also will not be attending any bigly parties where the guests are plenty and the music is louder than any ear should be subject to hearing. Maybe in a few months.
Also, the cats-in-Santa-hats Tie reminds Skitter and me that we aren’t going to receive a kitty—ever. Suzanne has let us know that she is forever done with litter boxes and dustings of cat fur in the house. Suzanne can barely deal with evidence a dog lives with us. When we had three dogs at one time, years ago, I thought Suzanne would have to go into therapy in order to deal with her dogs-in-the-house problem. Fortunately, she survived that herd. She knows I will probably always have a dog around, but one dog is about as far as Suzanne can bend without her skull imploding. She liked having cats until 15 years ago, when she suddenly didn’t like it anymore. She’s now declared herself to be done with felines for the rest of her life, which means I have to be done forever with felines in the house too—which means Skitter will never know the wondrous irritations and annoyances of having a kitty sibling.
Lastly, motorcycle Tie reminds me I will not be receiving a motorcycle for Christmas. Suzanne is adamant that I am not to be riding such a machine. She didn’t mind that I had a motorcycle in the 80’s when we met, but as we get older, she is more and more concerned that I don’t take risks I don’t have to. She is petrified that I might die before she does, so I try to be safe. Maybe I won’t buy her a material object for Christmas. I’ll just tell her I’m giving her the gift of not pestering her for a motorcycle anymore.
Holiday Tie Tally: 81 Neckties. 16 Bow Ties.
Skitter’s Holiday Tie Tally: 10 Neckties.